THE VOYAGE OUT

What does this novel have in common with the Seinfeld TV show? The show and the novel are about nothing. The novel and show are concerned with the trivialities of daily life. If you loved the Seinfeld show, you will love this novel. Virginia Woolf’s brilliant novel focuses on the upper middle class of Edwardian life in Great Britain. The voices for Woolf’s opinions are the passengers aboard a steamer heading to South America and the residents of the villa and hotel on the island of Santa Marina. They experience each other’s stances and persuasions in these three venues. They discuss art, politics, poetry, love, novels and education. Woolf’s novel has numerous characters, which is normally a no-no (so says Cormac McCarthy), but really has four main individuals (which is superb). If you read this novel carefully, you will learn how the Edwardians thought politically and socially. The novel was set in that period but not published until 1915 (The Edwardian period was between 1901-1910). Did I like this novel? Yes, but the reader must be attuned to dry prose and humor, similar to the British Public Television shows many people view with delight. Woolf’s work includes wonderful descriptive writing and long paragraphs (typical for the time frame). This was her first novel and only one written in a narrative fashion. She was influenced by the works of William Shakespeare, James Joyce and Marcel Proust. Wow, what a  threesome. Let’s talk about the story and plot (is there a plot?).
 
The novel opens with our protagonist, Rachel Vinrace, sailing on one of her father’s ten ships, The Euphrosyne (how do you pronounce that?) to South America. Rachel is 24 years old, but since her mother died when she was eleven, she has learned little about life and love (the birds and the bees included). She lives in Richmond, England with her aunts and ship owner dad, Willoughby. Her seldom seen aunt Helen Ambrose (2nd main character) and uncle Ridley (who spends his time editing the Greek poet Pindar) arrive on the ship. Aunt Helen’s brother owns a villa on Santa Marina island and Captain Vinrace will drop them off for an extended stay. When the Ambroses come aboard, they dine with Rachel, William Pepper (a Cambridge friend of Ridley Ambrose) and Willoughby Vinrace, Helen’s brother-in-law and Rachel’s father. What’s the beautiful Helen’s impression of the diners? “Pepper was a bore; Rachel was an unlicked girl, no doubt prolific of confidences, the very first of which would be: You see, I don’t get on with my father. Willoughby, as usual, loved his business and built his empire, and between them all she would be considerably bored.” Later on the trip, Willoughby picks up Mr. and Mrs. Dalloway stranded in Lisbon, Portugal. By the way, the Dalloways will be featured in several future Woolf novels including the the successful 1925 novel Mrs. Dalloway.  On page 44, Clarissa Dalloway writes a letter after she says, “'Good-night-good-night! She said. 'Oh, I know my way - do pray for calm! Good-night!'”

Here is part of Mrs. Dalloway’s letter: “Picture us, my dear, afloat in the very oddest ship you can imagine. It’s not the ship, so much as the people...How long they’ve all been shut up in this ship I don’t know - years and years I should say...They talk about art, and think us such poops for dressing in the evening...then there’s a nice girl - poor thing - I wish one could rake her out before it’s too late...Oh, I’d forgotten, there’s a dreadful little thing called Pepper...It’s a pity, sometimes, one can’t treat people like dogs!” I only quote this passage so you can get the flavor of Virginia Woolf’s outstanding prose. Later, Mr. Dalloway kisses Rachel in her room and utters, “You tempt me, he said. The tone of his voice was terrifying. He seemed choked in fright. They were both trembling. Rachel stood up and went.” Was this Rachel’s first kiss? Most likely. The Dalloways get off the ship (we don’t see them again in this novel). Don’t panic, I’m only up to page 71 in a 363 page novel. Aunt Helen convinces Rachel to get off of the ship at Santa Marina island and stay at her seaside villa instead of going all the way to the Amazon with her father. At the villa, Helen offers to teach Rachel life experiences. Helen tries to enlighten Rachel about the birds and the bees. In the evening, Helen and Rachel take a walk to the hotel down the street. There (unobserved), they see the guests that will become central characters in this dry satire. The novel introduces the reader to the other two main characters: Terence Hewet, a London writer, and the extroverted St. John Hirst, a would be lawyer or Cambridge genius.

The ensuing pages merge the activities of the hotel guests with Helen Ambrose and Rachel of the villa. Many witty situations occur during the ensuing pages, such as getting mail from Great Britain…”Moreover, when the mail had been distributed half an hour ago there were no letters for either of the two young men (Hewet and Hirst). As every other person, practically, had received two or three plump letters from England, which they were now engaged in reading, this seemed hard, and prompted Hirst to make the caustic remark that the animals had been fed.”  Normally this would put me to sleep. But remember, this story is about nothing. Later two couples get engaged during the months to follow (I’m not telling who), six of the hotel/villa residents hire a steamer to go down the river to see the natives in their camps, but then, the novel takes a tragic turn. When they get back to the hotel/villa...someone will die. Who? I’m not telling. I think Woolf’s writing style will put some readers to sleep. I stayed wide awake since I enjoyed her panache. Why, I don’t know since similar novels have put me to sleep. It could be that I’m on a quest to read at least one novel from what I think are important novelist. Virginia Woolf definitely fits that category. I would highly recommend this life experience novel.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: Since Virginia Woolf’s story of a voyage occurred just before WWI, I was wondering if Katherine Anne Porter got the idea for her book from Woolf’s classic. Porter’s novel, Ship of Fools occurs just before WWII. Amazon.com says, “The story takes place in the summer of 1931, on board a cruise ship bound for Germany. Passengers include a Spanish noblewoman, a drunken German lawyer, an American divorcee, a pair of Mexican Catholic priest. This ship of fools is a crucible of intense experience, out of which everyone emerges forever changed. Rich in incident, passion, and treachery, the novel explores themes of nationalism, culture and ethnic pride, and basic human frailty that are as relevant today as they were when the book was first published in 1962.

Now for the sad news. Virginia Woolf suffered from a mental illness now known as bipolar disorder. The beginning of the Barnes and Noble Classic that I read gives year by year highlights of her life.

“1939 - On September 3, Britain and France declare war on Germany. Living mostly in Rodmell (England), Leonard (her husband) and Virginia make a plan to commit suicide in the event of an invasion.”

“1941 - On March 28, after writing a note to her husband, Virginia Woolf fills her pockets with stones and drowns herself in the River Ouse. Between the Acts is published posthumously.”
So sad.

PILLAR TO THE SKY

Having read William R. Forstchen’s One Second After (see my review of 4/15/2011), I expected to read an exciting adventure based on the novel’s title. Not so. I dozed off and on through the first 184 pages until something happened to wake me up. A woman astronaut, Selena Singh, has three of her toes sliced off when she had to unjam the tangled wire being dropped to Earth to start the building of the 23,000 mile high Space elevator. That’s right...A Pillar to the Sky. Who would even think of this project? Well, the author did. Sometimes I think that sci-fi writers come up with an idea that makes no sense at all then try to justify the story with farcical claims and details. This is one of those suppositions that makes little horse sense. I’m not saying that the story was all bad or boring but it was close to being a surreal probability at the very best. What one reads as monotonous sometimes becomes a smash hit in the movies; such as, the mind-numbing novel, The Martian (see my review of 4/15/2014) by Andy Weir. If you think potato farming is exciting then you will love this novel. If you are a reader who tends to count sheep when reading...then order an extra herd. Okay, what’s this novel about?

The novel begins with Dr.Gary Morgan, a PhD in astrophysics and engineering, sitting in front of the Senate committee headed by Senator Proxley who has the oversight of NASA’s budget. The senator reacting to Morgan’s request for money to build a 23,000 mile high elevator into space says, “In these times of economic stress, of towering deficits and public demand for budget cutbacks...pipe-dream schemes that are a waste of taxpayer’s money are utterly absurd and, frankly, a waste of my time as a senator who believes in fiscal responsibility.” As the process continues, Dr. Morgan and his wife, Dr. Eva Morgan, realize that they fighting a losing battle. Their bright daughter, Victoria, is fuming in the audience. Finally Gary Morgan makes his final statement, “Senator, ten years after its completion, this project has the potential of transforming the global economy...This project is not some ill-conceived flight of fantasy like those we see in far too many government proposals, which either deservedly get filed away and forgotten or become public embarrassments after they are attempted, when they fall flat…” The senator rejects their request for the funding of the Pillar to the Sky. As the senator leaves the room, he is verbally attacked by the Morgan’s daughter, sixteen year old Victoria, to no avail.

After the senate defeat, the Morgans are greeted by their long time mentor, Dr. Rothenberg, who consoles them at the Goddard Institute for Space Studies. From here we travel back 18 years to see how this project started and then back to the present. This flip-flopping continued for quite a few pages. I fought gamely to stay awake. Finally, the Morgans and Dr. Rothenberg found a benefactor. On page 63, Dr. Rothenberg tells the Morgans (the Morgans always seem to be together), “A friend of ours who has taken great interest in the events of today. He expected this debacle. The moment the hearing closed and it was clear that NASA would be forced to entirely drop this line of research, he was already in flight from Seattle.” Then suddenly, we zoom back to 18 years earlier. Once again, I’m counting sheep. Later, the reader finds out that the benefactor is Afro-american billionaire, Franklin Smith. On page 77, Smith says, “With your help we are going to build that.” Smith flies the Morgans to Kiribati (formerly the Gilbert Islands). This is where the Pillar to the Sky will be built or fail. Sometime later, a professor Garlin debates Franklin Smith about the project (I’m snoring) and says, “Are you familiar with the thesis of disruptive technologies?” “I am.” “You do realize if this tower-or, as you call it, this pillar-of yours actually works, it will put hundreds of thousands out of work...And to be blunt, sir, it would put into your hands, and your hands alone, access to space. I am uncomfortable with that.”

What happens next will require you to buy your own copy of this novel. Although the story was tedious for me, it might not be for you, especially if you think a space elevator can be built 23,000 miles high. I, for one, didn’t buy into the hypothesis. There was too much technical jargon versus sci-fi action. The best excitement for the first 185 pages is when Singh has her three toes severed. So I think you get my thoughts loud and clear. I must give this novel a neutral rating.

RATING: 3 out of 5 stars

Comment: Even though I’ve read and liked some of this author’s previous works, I will not read his novels in the future. If you write a clunker...then I move on. There are too many authors out there that I want to read before I pass on. But in doing a little research, I’ve found many despised sci-fi novels doing time in oblivion. Here are three:

The Saga of Seven Suns by Kevin J. Anderson. Blastr.com says, “Anderson has built quite a career both as a solo author and collaborator, but this epic saga has some outspoken detractors...Redditor FlaveC called it the worst pile of sci-fi crap ever!” Well, let’s cross this novel off our list of ‘books to read.’

The Eye of Argon by Jim Theis. Wikipedia says, “The Eye of Argon is a heroic fantasy novella that narrates the adventures of Grignr, a barbarian. It has been described as one of the genre’s most beloved pieces of appalling prose.” Cross that one off.

2121 by Susan Greenfield. Newstatesman.com says, “The neuroscientist’s first novel has clunking cliches, terrible characters and dialogue about the dissociation of reproduction from copulation.” So there you go, now I don’t feel bad about about wasting my time reading Forstchen’s novel. By the way there are many clunkers from big time writers that have received horrible reviews, but I choose not to mention them.

SUNBORN RISING: Beneath the Fall

The author sent a copy of his novel to my guest reviewing twelve year old grandson, Kai O:

Everything is okay in the loft...at least right now. For Barra and the many species of arboreals, life in the loft of the great trees seems unthreatened. The residents of the tree tops in the great forest have long since abandoned the roots of the trees. Meanwhile, in the abandoned roots, Creepervines are taking over. The deadly vines have already damaged most of the life in the roots and threaten to do the same in the arboreal’s loft. But the Creepervines are soon discovered when Barra finds her desisted father’s hidden journals.

Barra’s father, Gammel, predicted that the Creepervines would block the sun located in the center of Cerulean. The forest floats on a ocean around a star. However, the elder’s didn’t believe him. When Barra’s mother brings up the problem once again, the elders are still not convinced.

The angry Barra and her friends, Tory and Plicks, go to the middens (a place in the loft where Creepervines exist) to catch some bugs called kudmoths. This is because: where there are kudmoths there are Creepervines. They will use the kudmoths to prove that there are Creepervines. But in the process, the killer kudmoths chase them to the bottom of the loft in the fall of the tree (the trunk of the tree). But because they were not near the trunk, the group falls all the way to the roots. What follows is a trip down to the sun and then back up to the loft. What happens next is a journey to save Cerulean or let it die.

The author of this fantastic novel, Aaron Safronoff, wrote an enthralling story. One feature of this novel is the vivid artwork displayed throughout the novel. It really helps you to visualize the story and the many complicated species in the book. In conclusion, this was an amazing book. In some places it was a bit difficult to figure out what was going on, but the incredible artwork really helped to clear everything up. I would recommend this book to YA readers aged 10 to 14 years old because of how easy it is to get into the story.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars.

Comment: Once again, I think my grandson did a boss review. This was not the easiest book to comprehend, but Kai scrutinized the text like the seasoned reviewer he is. I remain in awe of Kai’s ability to interpolate his opinion.

Barra and her friends:

A Salute to Patriotism

The author sent me a copy of her book to review:

With all respect to World War II Major General Howard L. Peckham, this somewhat biography written by his daughter, Jean Peckham Kavale, was kind of a yawner. Not for nothing, the story of the Director of the Fuels and Lubricants Division (of the Quartermaster Corps) and later Commander of the American Graves Registration in Paris, France didn’t "rock my boat." I say somewhat biography because the book is really about the general’s travels with his wife, daughter (Jean) and his son, Howie...mainly in the USA. This is probably because the book was written by the general’s daughter, who had to include their family life in the text versus a pure biography. The book had some edit problems coupled with blurry photos throughout the book. I understand that the general’s jobs were important during the war, but it had to be hard to extol his career without any actual combat situations. Don’t get me wrong...the general deserves all the respect due him. It just doesn’t make for exciting reading. It was with heavy eye-lids that I read this book. Okay, enough. What about the general’s career?

We learn that the general’s father was a farmer, who had four greenhouses. Howard worked for his father trucking veggies to locale markets in Connecticut. “After graduating from Norwich Free Academy, a school with high scholastic standards, he received an appointment to West Point. His boyhood daydream about having a career in the U.S. Army was about to become a reality.” As World War I ended, “Howard Peckham was one of those newly commissioned second lieutenants who graduated in November 1918.” Howard later went on to graduated from the U.S. Army’s Corps of Engineers. Howard meets Marion Shaw (his future wife) at Fort Hayes. He marries Marion...as Hitler rises to power in Germany. In 1939, Howard is chosen to attend the prestigious Command and General Staff school. Howard is promoted to major as Hitler begins to bomb Britain. Howard is transferred to Fort Benning where he meets Colonel George Patton and General Omar Bradley.

On 12/07/1941, Japan attacks Pearl Harbor, HI. President Roosevelt says, “Yesterday, December 7, 1941, a date that will live in infamy…” In 1942, Patton, now a two star general leaves Fort Benning to command the Desert Training Center in California. This is where the book gets a little shallow with the chapters a tad monotonous. Howard is promoted to Colonel at Fort Knox. At Fort Campbell, he is promoted to brigadier general. I’m close to sawing zzz’s. The Peckham family moves to Falls Church, VA (where we meet the cat, Mr. Alice) then they move to Washington D.C. General Peckham becomes the Director Of the Fuels and Lubricants Division, a job he had till the war’s end. "After the war, the law authorized the Secretary of War to implement the return of the World War II dead to their homeland for interment.” Guess who will head that project? Yes, General Peckham. “I’ve been ordered to Paris, France...I’ll be in charge of the American Graves Registration Command.”

I guess that I’ve gotten used to reading nonfiction that reads like fiction; such as, David McCullough’s The Wright Brothers (see my review of 2/17/2016). The General’s jobs during and after World War II were extremely important to our country. It just didn’t make for exciting reading for me. You may have another opinion. I don’t think this book was written with enough vigor or energy. I have to give this book a neutral rating.

RATING: 3 out of 5 stars

Comment: Surprisingly, the most boring biography that I ever read was a New York Times bestseller. The book that put me to sleep many nights was Jon Meacham’s American Lion, the story of our seventh president, Andrew Jackson. Maybe I shouldn’t read biography type books. I also had a hard time staying awake when (many years ago) I read Henry Kissinger’s Years of Upheaval. Well over 1,200 pages of monotonous, monotone prose (just the way he speaks). Lastly, another snoozer was Richard Nixon’s The Memoirs of Richard Nixon, over 1,000 pages of the mythical Sandman putting me to sleep. Oh well!

THE SECRET GARDEN

Whoa, another classic novel situated on the great British moors. This 1911 novel written by Frances Hodgson Burnett is a big time page burner (I love idioms). I recently read Daphne Du Maurier’s Jamaica Inn (see my review of 4/3/2016), which was also based on the moors. Can these ladies write or what? I thought the prose was first rate, showcasing the Yorkshire accent while balancing it with a normal English accent. You want an example of the Yorkshire utters? Okay, early in the novel...the train station-master says to Mrs. Medlock (who is bringing our main character, Mary, to the moors), “I see tha’s got back,” he said. “An’ tha’s browt th’ young ‘un with thee.” Somehow, I was able to fully understand what the characters said whenever they summoned the accent. I loved it. Of course, since the novel was published in 1911, it was very descriptive (a lost art). If you have read my reviews before, you know that descriptive writing is reverent to me. And can the author make the reader adore all the animals in the novel? Does Rose Kennedy own a black dress? (sorry). Frances Hodgson Burnett actually wrote a spin-off short story (42 pages) about the garden’s robin in the novel, titled My Robin (1912). The New York Times commented on 9/24/1911, “If Henry James is the most English of all Americans, Frances Hodgson Burnett is the most American of all the English...Mrs. Burnett was born in England, but she is naturalized as American.” Okay, what about the story?

The story centers around ten year old Mary Lennox’s young life as a spoiled brat in India. She was a plain, sickly and disagreeable child being brought up by an Indian ayah (ayah is the Hindi word for nanny). By six years old, “She (Mary) was as tyrannical and selfish a little pig as ever lived.” (a pigritta?) Mom, who was pretty, only lived for the next party, and dad was always busy as a Captain in the British government. Cholera stuck Mary’s village, and her mom, dad and  ayah perished but not Mary. The military found her and sent her to England to live in her uncle’s 100 room, 600 year old manor called Misselthwaite on the English moors. Her uncle was a somewhat hunchback who didn’t want to see Mary or anybody else for that matter. Mary was assigned a room in the mansion. Mrs. Medlock was the stern housekeeper, and Mary’s Yorkshire talking maid was Martha. Mary soon finds out that in England she can’t boss people around like she did in India. Martha tells Mary that ten years ago, her uncle (Archibald Craven) and his wife had a secret garden that they loved and spent their days in. One day, shortly after giving birth to her son, Colin...as she sat on a branch of a tree in the garden, it suddenly broke causing her death. Uncle Craven locked up the garden and buried the key. Martha said that Mary was free to roam the other gardens, but not the secret garden. Bored in her room, Mary started going outdoors to  explore the other gardens...and Mary's health seemed to be blooming in the windy, chilly moor air. One day she ran into the head gardener, Ben Weatherstaff, who was none too friendly.

Mary asks Ben about the secret garden. He says the garden has no entrance, but shows her a robin on the wall that appears to be a friend of Ben’s and seems to make friends with Mary. Mary walks around the secret garden but can’t find an entrance. She goes back to her room and seemingly hears a child crying. Her maid, Martha, tells Mary that she is hearing the scullery maid crying with a toothache. (Really?) Mary likes her maid with the strong Yorkshire accent. Martha lives in a small cottage of four rooms with 14 people. Martha tells Mary about her brother, Dickon (12 years old), who loves the moor and has a special relationship with all of its animals. One rainy day, Mary decides to roam the 100 room mansion and hears the crying child again. Mrs. Medlock was furious with her roaming the house and shoves Mary back into her own room. The next day, Mary goes out to walk the gardens again. She sees the robin pecking in a hole that a dog dug up. She finds a rusty ring of keys! Could this ring contain the key to open the secret garden? Meanwhile, Martha comes back to the mansion after a day off and gives Mary a skipping rope. She shows Mary how to use it, and Mary skips around the garden feeling healthier and healthier. She follows the robin, who lands on the thick ivy wall of the secret garden. Behind the ivy, Mary finds a knob! Will the key open the door to the secret garden? She turns the key…”she was standing inside the secret garden.” “It was the sweetest, most mysterious-looking place anyone could imagine.”

She locks the gate and goes to dinner during which she has two helpings. She is so happy and feeling better each day. Martha tells Mary that her twelve year old brother Dickon will buy her garden tools to use in the secret garden (by the way, I’m only on page 65). Dickon meets Mary and they go into the secret garden. He brought seeds and tools and they start planting. Mary finds out that Dickon is the Johnny Appleseed of the moors and actually charms the local animals and seems to talk to them. She likes this boy! That night Mary is finally asked into Uncle Cravens room. He tells her that he is going away for the summer, and she can do what she wants. For the time being, he will not hire a nanny or governess. Later, she hears the crying again, and this time finds the troubled room and enters. She finds her cousin, Colin (also ten years old) lying in bed and crying. He initially thinks she is a ghost. They talk, and he realizes that she is his cousin. The boy is presumed sick (with no hard facts) and will develop a crook in his back like his father. She finds that he is just as spoiled as she is and has his way with everybody in the house via his tantrums. His father’s orders to the help are: give him whatever he wants and obey his commands. Colin also thinks that his doctor (who is his dad’s cousin) would prefer that Colin die so the doctor could inherit the estate. So there you have it...two spoiled brats together in the same house. Can Dickon get these two cousins into the secret garden and cure them of their sickliness and horrible personalities? Read this great classic and find out what happens next.

Even though this novel was originally written for English children, it has become a classic for all ages. It was initially published in serial form as many novels were during the years going back to Charles Dickens (1812/1870). This is a must read for classic readers and I highly recommend this novel to any age group.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: On page 231, we find some interesting information: “The first film of The Secret Garden, a silent, black-and-white version, appeared in 1919, eight years after the novel’s initial publication. Better known is director Fred Wilcox’s 1949 version. The magnificent, stylized sets bring the magic of Burnett’s novel to life, while the actors, including Margaret O’Brien as Mary Lennox, play their roles with tenderness and emotion. The evocative cinematography and lighting capture the scariness of the dark hallways of Misselthwaite Manor, making the large house seem as if it really is haunted. In a dramatic point-counterpoint evocative of 1939’s The Wizard of Oz, the film bursts from drab black and white to blazing technicolor upon the discovery of the secret garden.”

The rest of the cast is: Brian Roper as Dickon; Gladys Cooper as Mrs. Medlock; Dean Stockwell as Colin Craven; Elsa Lanchester as Martha and Herbert Marshall as Archibald Craven. Wow, what a cast!

A typical British moor:

MY JOURNEY THROUGH WAR AND PEACE

The author sent a copy of her book to me for review:

Melissa Burch, you are one gutsy lady! Besides putting yourself in harm’s way in Afghanistan, you exposed your sexual affairs to the world with this book. Not for nothing, you were engaged to George (he of the Greek Navy) whilst you had various one night stands with Pakistani and Afghan men, not to mention the lesbian affair in NYC. I know that you said that you found your ‘spiritual self’ via the teachings of the Russian mystic and spiritual teacher George Gurdjieff, but it still takes a undaunted attitude to write this book. My hat is off to you. I think your continuous concern about your up and down weight problem (mostly up) should take a backseat to your future treks. I found your journey to be very interesting but thought the prose could have been better and more descriptive. I’m also not sure that your filming and documentary problems had anything to do with being a woman. The United States populace was not interested in hearing that the Russian people were just like us during President Ronald Reagan's years in office (1981-1989). Also, the U.S. press wasn’t interested in stories about Russia and Afghanistan making peace (as you also stated)... the full court press was on against Russia! The U.S. wanted Gorbachev’s hated Communist Party dissolved and it was in 1991. If you wanted to do a documentary about the average Russian today, it would probably sell. Okay, let’s write a little about the story.

In 1979, Russia decided to invade Afghanistan with the purpose of ousting the Afghan president and replacing him with a Afghan socialist. The war lasted over nine years. Three years later, Melissa Burch (21 years old) would go to Afghanistan (supposedly for CBS) and film a mujahideen (a group engaged in Jihad) ambush of Soviets. The ambush was a success, but later, the Russians would destroy an Afghan village in retaliation. Melissa takes the pictures of the Russian helicopter the mujahideen shot down. Melissa is wounded. The commander of the mujahideen team bandages her up, and guess what? “We kissed hard, fast. I allowed lust to pull him inside me…” Enough said, you get the picture (sexual encounter one). Melissa leaves the team and gets a new mujahideen team lead by Commander Razik. Suddenly, Melissa starts yelling that she wants to be home for Christmas (she wanted to bring Dan Rather of CBS the footage on time). By causing a scene about going home, she accidentally saved the whole group from being blown up on a just mined road. “The mujahideen who had stopped us had just mined the road, not expecting any comrades to drive through at night. Had we arrived a few minutes later, we would have all been blown up. My intuition and my outrageous action had saved us.” 
  
After returning home from Afghanistan, she moved to NYC to become an independent filmmaker. She meets Sarah Peterson (a fellow filmmaker, who will become Melissa’s lesbian partner at a later date). John, a British journalist of the BBC, contacted Melissa for the purpose of going…” back into Afghanistan to cover the alleged cease-fire in the Panjshir Valley, for the fourth anniversary of the Soviet invasion.” She has two contracts (from BBC & CBS) for the films. They are holed up in Pakistan awaiting to be picked up by the mujahideen to go back into Afghanistan. While waiting for the mujahideen team to arrive, a Pakistani guide has sexual “overtures” towards Melissa. “I could have screamed, scratched him, bit him. Instead, I let him enter me and then shoved him out the door.” Woe is me (just kidding). The mujahideen team finally arrives, and they are on the way up the 7,000 foot peak to Panjshir Valley. The team is lead by Commander Shaskti armed with Chinese weapons. Melissa tires on the trip up the peak. Another commander, Ahmed, wanted her out. The second commander, Baba Fawad, interceded. “Forget about him. You stay here.” How many commanders does a mujahideen team have? Guess who Melissa has sex with next? You guessed it...Baba Fawad.

I’m stopping my review around page 90. There is a lot to be learned about Melissa’s life in the ensuing pages (especially the rows with her alcoholic mom, who went to the famous Smith College and was friends with Sylvia Plath). I found this book to be refreshing since Melissa Burch unmasked her soul. That took a lot of courage. Can anyone be more honest? I didn’t think her book was five star, but Melissa Burch is surely a five star human being. I highly recommend this true story.

RATING: 4 out of 5 stars

Comment: I must say that I will never understand the Muslim religion. Yes, I know there are many different sects. In this book, it seems that it is normal to have four wives. Yet, it’s okay if the husband has sex with an American girl? And on page 101, we find…”In a refugee camp, a Pakistani male doctor was stoned to death after treating a woman alone in her tent. Sick women walked for miles to see the French woman doctor, their only chance for medical care.” Are you kidding me?

Even sicker were the occupying Soviets who, “A six-year old tiny, shrunken boy was lying on a table with a white bandage on his stump. Earlier in the day, one of the French doctors had amputated his leg. He had stepped on a shiny, green, plastic bird-like toy, a mine. The Soviets threw thousands of these anti-personnel mines out of their helicopters hoping kids, villagers, or a mujahideen would pick them up or trip on them and blow up an arm or leg, maiming them for life.”

War is cruel.

THE GEMINI EFFECT

The author sent an autographed copy of his novel to my twelve year old grandson Kai O for review:

The Gemini Effect is two interconnected stories about two versions of a boy named Zeke. It all starts with Zeke’s father’s invention. The invention is called QuARC. Zeke found out about this invention from his father’s journal, which was the only thing he had left from his father...who disappeared when he was about two years old.

Zeke is rebuilding the QuARC for a mysterious man that he only knows as The Chairman. The Chairman promises compensation for Zeke if he helps him. Zeke will use his reward to help him and his mother out of the poor situation they are in. However, after the first successful test causes chaos in the school, Doc the janitor, confiscates the QuARC. Now Zeke has to retrieve it to receive the Chairman’s bonus that will help his family.

At this point the story really flares up. So this is where I will stop my review so you can read this fantastic novel for yourself. The author shrouds most of the characters in mystery, which makes the novel that much more interesting.

In conclusion, I really liked this novel...I would even say that it is one of the better books that I’ve read. The author, Scott Jarol, is quite a capable writer. I would passionately recommend this novel to readers aged nine to fourteen years old...and beyond.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: I think my grandson is probing deeper and deeper into the stories that he is reading, making his reviews more expounding. Another good review from my grandson.   

CLARENCE OLGIBEE

The author sent me an autographed copy of his novel to review:

Although I didn’t dislike this novel, I wasn’t enamored with it either. There was racism on both sides, but for what reason? The novel was a tangled story without any real direction. Black versus white is understandable, but the characters in this story seem to have a problem with each other, whether they were black, white, male or female. What is this novel about? After reading 425 pages, I’m still a little foggy on that note...what was the novel’s point? The author, Alan S. Kessler, seems to be a storyteller, but the story didn’t seem to have the same flow chapter to chapter. I do see the author’s talent (I understand that it’s not easy to write a novel), but he needs to write in a more orderly manner, instead of drifting back and forth between characters. And talking about characters...did we need this many to tell this story? I don’t think so. I’m a big time believer of five to six main characters per story. It makes for superior reading with a user-friendly understandability. With due respect to the author, overall I thought the story was slightly humdrum and written in a somewhat pedestrian fashion. Okay, what was this novel about...I’m a little hazy, but let’s give it a spin. 
 
The first 21 pages were rousing: it’s 1974 and teenage Jimmy Sullivan stands by and watches two other boys beat up and kill a black man for no reason. Since Jimmy wouldn’t take a plea bargain, he is sent to prison for life. In prison, he is approached by another prisoner, Todd Munson. Todd tells him that he needs the protection of the Church of the Christ, Judea or he will be on his own. Jimmy joins the teachings of the church and soon learns to hate Jews and blacks. The church was founded by a Mr. Walters in Ohio. We find out that Todd is dying of lung cancer and has selected Jimmy to educate the new white prisoners to the church’s ways. After ten years in prison, Jimmy is given a book from Willard, the book cart attendant. It’s The Diary of Anne Frank. After reading more holocaust books, Jimmy questions his new faith and decides to write a letter to a girl (Tammy) that he was going to date on the day of the murder. She writes back and eventually convinces him that her religion is the real church of God. Jimmy gets permission to marry Tammy in prison. Before that can happen, a prisoner from his old church plunges a spike into Jimmy’s kidney. “Curled into a fetal position, he managed to inch Tammy’s photo out of his pocket. Blood pooling around him, he stared into her blood smeared eyes.” Wow, I thought that I had an exciting novel to read...what a start.

Then we retro to 1942 to witness, Clarence Olgibee (five year old black kid) being dumped into a barrel by some white kids in a park. Clarence’s parents (both teachers) just ignore what happened. What is the lesson supposed to be learned? I didn’t get it. Then for some reason we retro to 1955. Clarence, now 17 and a senior in high school (already accepted to Oberlin College), is living on an all black street named Brighton Road (where the better black’s live). The one exception living on Brighton Road is the Munson family, who are white. Mother Olgibee is a disciplinarian and father Olgibee seems to be in his own world studying everything imaginable. Clarence’s friends are Todd Munson (the same one from paragraph two) and high school football lineman Willard, who has some deep emotional problems and behaviors. Lastly we have Gwen, a pretty black girl that wishes she was white (Clarence falls in love with this control freak). Now there are many other characters, but I’m keeping them out for the clarity of the story. Clarence’s cousin, Ortis, comes to his house for a stay. He’s a hip kid that is not a good influence on his cousin Clarence. After Ortis leaves Ohio, he gets killed, but somehow continues to talk to Clarence throughout the novel. I’m only about forty pages into the book.

The boys go into a curb painting business, have a traffic accident rolling Todd in a barrel into a busy street and later meet Gwen and her girlfriend in a park. Clarence falls in love with this pretentious black girl who thinks she should be white. Later that day, “Clarence bent over the piano stool…You practicing? his mother called out... I’m in love! he wanted to tell her but shivering, knew desire had no heart.” Later, Clarence has mixed feelings about Gwen’s attitude, “Her white boyfriend dumped her. She’s a stuck-up princess who lives in an apartment but still walks around with her nose in the air. The witch is lucky I’m taking her anywhere. She didn’t care that Cousin Ortis died.” Later, Gwen accuses Clarence of impregnating her...Clarence doesn’t believe it and joins the Navy. I’m a hundred pages or so into this novel and this is the exact  point where I lost interest. The novel had too many characters, most of them had no bearing on the story. Mr. Kessler’s prose was acceptable, but the story lacked a strong plot and reader attachment to the characters. I can only give a neutral rating to this novel.

RATING: 3 out of 5 stars

Comment: I prefer to give a book a four or five star rating, but every so often I can’t. This is not to say that another reviewer will not see it differently. Amazon has their own internal system. What is it? Okay, here it is:

Five stars= I loved it

Four stars= I liked it

Three stars= It was okay

Two stars= I didn’t like it

One star= I hated it

So there you go...I thought Mr. Kessler’s novel was okay (even after all my criticism).  

 

THE SOUL OF AN OCTOPUS

This is a guest review from past contributor and artist, Pat Koelmel:

I picked up this 2015 memoir by naturalist Sy Montgomery to learn more about octopuses after I caught wind of a news blurb about Inky the octopus who made a daring, Shawshank Redemption worthy escape from the National Aquarium of New Zealand. According to an article by NPR’s Scott Simon, evidence showed that the determined octopus “squeezed through a slight gap at the top of his tank, flopped to the floor, then slithered about eight feet overland to slide down a drainpipe more than 160 feet long, and finally to plop into the bay.” (Inky, wherever you are, I hope you’re happy.)

Wow, I thought, how incredible is that? I soon learned, however, that an incident like Inky’s is not unheard of. According to Ms. Montgomery, escaping octopuses are so commonplace, most aquariums now have their octopus tanks equipped with escape-proof lids.

Okay, so when you imagine an octopus, what do you envision? A monster like in Jules Verne’s 1870 sci-fi novel 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea? Or an alien species? Its anatomy is, after all, out of this world. “We go: head, body, limbs. They go: body, head, limbs.” Wait! There’s more. They also have three hearts, nine brains, and blue blood. Still, in spite of all this, I, for one, am amazed at how differently I came to feel about an animal who in my eyes could have easily been cast as a sidekick to the infamous creature from the Black Lagoon. 

While there are 250 or so species of octopus, the author focuses on the giant Pacific octopuses she befriends (yes, befriends) at Boston’s New England Aquarium. Her mission to get up close and personal with these baggy, eight-armed cephalopods (under the strict supervision of the aquarium’s trained staff) begins with the gentle (yes, I said gentle) Athena. After plunging her arms into the cold 47 degree Fahrenheit water of Athena’s tank, the author writes: “Twisting, gelatinous, her [Athena’s] arms boil up from the water, reaching for mine. Instantly both my hands and forearms are engulfed by dozens of soft, questing suckers.” Of this first experience, Ms. Montgomery interestingly enough likens the octopus’s touch to an alien’s kiss. I’d like to weigh in and add that it was at this point Ms. Montgomery became totally smitten with her subject. This initial connection, in fact, is so powerful she eventually takes on the rigors of scuba diving in order to view octopus in the wild.

Now for some facts: “The giant Pacific octopus is one of the world’s most efficient carnivores in converting food into body mass. Hatching from an egg the size of a grain of rice weighing three-tenths of a gram, a baby giant Pacific octopus doubles its weight every eighty days until it reaches about 44 pounds, then doubles its weight every four months until maturity.”

Additionally, did you know that octopuses, in general, have beaks much like a parrot’s, allowing them to consume things like crab? Did you know “An octopus’s arm muscles, by one calculation, are capable of resisting a pull one hundred times the octopus’s own weight?” Did you know that “octopuses live fast and die young?” The giant Pacific, for example, averages a life span of only three to four years. And did you know that an octopus’s suckers are like the taste buds on a human tongue?

It may also surprise you to know that the octopus is known for its inquisitiveness, intelligence, and ability to learn. (Google “YouTube, octopus intelligence” and see for yourself. You will be amazed.)  

As Ms. Montgomery tenderly recounts each of her many, close encounters, she does so with a writing style that is exquisite, even poetic at times. For instance, she says of Athena: “her head is silky and softer than custard” and “Athena rises up from her lair like steam from a pot.” And of another octopus by the name of Kali, she says: “Then Kali fluffs up her suckers on her arms like the frills on a petticoat and waves her arms at us.” Through Ms. Montgomery’s eyes, we truly get a glimpse of these beings’ majestic qualities. I am reminded of the old adage: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

With that said, whether you read this book or not, the next time you visit an aquarium, you may, at the very least, rethink these animals … or any animal, for that matter. As Wilson, a former engineer and the New England Aquarium’s most experienced octopus volunteer, puts it: “We’re only starting to understand animals.”

As for me, thanks to Ms. Montgomery’s deep devotion to bringing a better understanding of this species to light, I believe that I have come to know, without having actually met one, the soul of an octopus.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: I love books that are entertaining and educational at the same time. Jules Verne’s 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea is one of my favorite novels...and movies. I’m not sure, but I think Captain Nemo’s Nautilus submarine was attacked by a Giant Squid (a kissing cousin of a octopus?). Here is the attack caught on camera (just kidding):

http://amzn.to/1TQRajq