the NORTH WATER

Ian McGuire’s second novel is as dark as it can get, yet somehow the author’s story has occasional breaks in the clouds. How did he do that? Even the protagonist, Patrick Sumner, who is normally a somber and gloomy individual portrays hope and optimism at the story’s bleakest times. This takes writer skills that are unrivaled. I’ve read darker novels, such as Cormac McCarthy’s Outer Dark (see my review of 3/1/2013), but somehow I enjoyed the few breaks in the gloom with McGuire’s novel...while still experiencing Cormac’s terror. Surprisingly (since it’s a new novel), Goodreads.com rates McGuire’s novel as the sixth best whaling novel ever written. Which novel is first? You know the answer is Herman Melville’s 1851 novel Moby Dick which was a readers lesson in perseverance. I tried to find faults in McGuire’s novel but couldn’t, which is a rare statement from me. Alrighty then, let’s get a taste of the story.

The year is 1859. The whaling ship Volunteer and its sister ships are off from Yorkshire to the north waters of the Arctic Circle on a commercial whaling trip. The owner of the ships, Mr. Baxter, confers with the Volunteer’s Captain Brownlee before they ship out. Does Brownlee have orders from Baxter other than harpooning whales? Mr. Baxter hires an ex-British Army surgeon, Patrick Sumner, as the ship’s medic. What is Sumner hiding from the crew about his recent discharge from The British East India Company during the Indian Soldiers Rebellion of 1857? Was he released Honorably? What is he hiding in his locked military footlocker aboard the ship? Am I asking too many questions? (just throwing out some teasers). The next crew member of note is the nasty harpooner Henry Drax, who believes in no laws except his own. The First Mate is a Mr. Cavendish, who the Shetlander crew deem worthless. Mr. Baxter says, “Cavendish is a great turd and whoremonger, it’s true, but he will do whatever he’s told to.” The Second Mate is a Master Black. Then we have the two other harpooners, Otto and Jones-the-whale. The main characters are kept to a handful, which is to my liking.

As they sail out towards the north waters, Our protagonist, Patrick Sumner, thinks to himself, “ By and large it will be an easeful, perhaps a mildly tedious, sort of time, but God knows that is what he needs after the madness of India: the filthy heat, the barbarity, the stench. Whatever the Greenland whaling is like, he thinks, it will surely not be anything like that.” Really! Think again (Haha). On the way to the whales, the ship stops on Jan Mayen Island to kill seals for their blubber and skins. Sumner almost dies as he falls in the icy waters and isn’t rescued for three hours. He suffers some frostbite and while he is comatose, he dreams of what happened in India. After Sumner recovers, a cabin boy appears at his room complaining of stomach pain. It’s actually butt pain. Sumner realizes that a seaman sodomized the boy, but the boy will not talk. The wrong man is accused and put in chains after the cabin boy is found dead in a empty cask. Who killed the boy? The stage is set...what happens next?

Otto, the harpooner, has a dream. He tells Sumner, “You will be killed by a bear - when the rest of us are already dead,” Otto says. “Eaten, swallowed up somehow,” “You are a good fellow, Otto, but what you are saying is folly”, Sumner tells him. “We’re not in danger anymore. Set your mind at ease and forget the f***ing dream.” Will the dream be a reality? Sorry, I’ll stop my review here, so you can buy your own copy of this thriller to enjoy. I have to say that this was the fastest 255 pages that I’ve ever read. (I love that irregular verb). Which means what? Yes, I loved this novel! I highly recommend this novel.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: My favorite nautical novel is Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island (see my review of 8/23/2016). If you read my long review, you know that I loved the novel. By the way, if you want to know more about Robert Louis Stevenson read Nancy Horan’s Under the Wide and Starry Sky (see my review of 3/15/2014)...it was a fabulous historical novel.

So what did Goodreads.com think of Treasure Island? The following is their teaser: “The most popular pirate story ever written in English, featuring one of literature’s most beloved “bad guys,” Treasure Island has been happily devoured by several generations of boys-and girls-and grownups. Its unforgettable characters include: young Jim Hawkins, who finds himself owner of a map to Treasure Island, where fabled pirate booty is buried; honest Captain Smollett, heroic Dr. Livesey, and the good-hearted but obtuse Squire Trelawney, who help Jim on his quest for the treasure; the frightening Blind Pew, double-dealing Israel Hands, and seemingly mad Ben Gunn, buccaneers of varying shades of menace; and, of course, garrulous, affable, ambiguous Long John Silver, who is one moment a friendly, laughing, one-legged sea-cook...and the next a dangerous pirate leader.”  

COINMAN, An Untold Conspiracy

The author sent me a copy of his novel to review:

Pawan Mishra has written a humorous and tormenting story... all at the same time. The funny side reminded me of the American version of the TV show The Office. Coinman prompted me to think of the quirky Dwight played by Rainn Wilson. The bullying side reminded me of a adult office version of William Golding’s Lord of the Flies, but a more civil edition. Coinman’s office was ruled by a gang of four, while the stranded boys were ruled by a gang of three with Piggy playing the counterpart of Pawan Mishra’s Coinman. Why was Coinman an outcast in his office? Because he loved “the joy of coin jingling!” What? Yes, that’s the hypothesis of the story. I’m going to email the author to find out how he thought of the idea. Anyway he took that zany habit and built a delightful tale around it. Coinman fell in love with coins when, as a baby, his father spilled coins on the floor. Baby Coinman found the one coin his father didn’t pick up and did what any baby would do...he put it in his mouth and swallowed it. Somehow his digestive system dissolved the coin, and he was forever hooked on coins. He had to have coins at all times in the left pocket of his trousers unless he had to use his left hand, then the coins would be moved into his right pocket. “Jangle jingle! Clink clatter! Ding-a-ling! Ring-a-ding!” Is that funny, or what? And if he had to hold a chart with both hands for a colleague at a office presentation, he would make the excuse that he had to go to the bathroom.

The venue for the story is a office building in Northern India. The managers are on the second floor, and the regular office workers are on the first floor sitting in individual desks. By the way, the reader never really finds out what the company actually does. It seems like they spend the whole shuffling papers and scheming against Coinman. According to Coinman, it looks like all the desks on the floor inch away from him on a daily basis. Coinman knows it’s true because he measures the distance from his desk to his neighbors desks as a daily routine. Nobody wanted to hear the constant jingling of coins in his pocket. “The coin-stricken souls at the office used as pain-killers some fabricated tales about Coinman’s buffoonery, yet these pain-killers were not good enough to make even a dent in the constant trauma the coins caused. The mind-paralyzing sound of the coins, mixed with the hatred against him, evolved to a stubborn assessment in their minds that Coinman was perpetrating the most unbearable experience they’d ever known.” The group’s attitude was simple, “They wanted independence from coins at any cost!” Coinman’s real name was Kesar, but somehow it changed to Coinman when his office mail, office newsletter, and official records started to be addressed to Coinman instead of Kesar. He went to the second floor to protest, but they said Its always been Coinman...so it stuck, go figure!

I have to say that I thought the author’s prose was excellent, mainly because I’m a fan of descriptive writing. Pawan Mishra took two pages (pages nine & ten) to describe Coinman’s appearance...that’s what I’m talking about! Getting back to the story, we learn about Coinman’s personal life such as, how he lives jam-packed with his mother, Kasturi, father, Daulat, his wife, Imli and a distant cousin, Shimla. Coinman’s wife is an actor who has the habit of adopting the personality of whoever she is currently playing on stage. For instance when she played a doctor on stage, she would come home as a doctor with a medical bag. She even gave Coinman a needle in the butt while he was sleeping (Haha). Okay, let’s get back to the conniving office gang of four: Hukum (the leader), Daya, Sevak and Panna. They are now joined by co-conspirators, Ratiram and the lovely office female, Tulsi, who has decided enough is enough. All the office workers have a meeting in the building’s cafeteria. Tulsi takes the leadership role, “Let us strip him of his coins, let’s rob the filthy insect of its wings, let’s snatch his happiness and share it equally among us.” Then she dropped her voice to almost a whisper. “Let’s do it in a way that lets us kill the snake without breaking the stick.” Okay, I told you enough of the story, the best is yet to come. What plan did the office gang finally come up with? What will Coinman do if he can’t jingle his coins? The author came up with a strange but simple story that somehow captivated me. Pick up your own copy, indulge yourself with this duck soup novel.

RATING: 4 out of 5 stars

Comment: This is the first novel I’ve read pertaining to bullying, however co-contributor, Pat Koelmel wrote a review on R.J. Palacio’s Wonder (see her review of 8/25/2014). It’s the story of a ten year old boy named Auggie, who has a rare medical facial deformity. His parent’s enroll him into a private school after years of home schooling. There, he faces bullying for the way he looks, not because he jingles coins in his pocket.

THE LAST KIND WORDS SALOON

I finally read a Larry McMurtry novel, and I’m glad I did. Most of the reviewers of this 2014 novel gave it one or two stars (47% on Amazon). I think they are way out of line. Surely the author of the best western novel ever written (so says Bestwesternbooks.com and many others), Lonesome Dove, couldn’t have written a stinker...could he? No, I don’t think he did. His style was smooth and deliberate with a touch of western humor. I don’t think that Larry McMurtry had any intention of writing a serious novel about Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday as they traveled from Long Grass, Texas to Denver, Colorado and eventually to Tombstone, Arizona for the showdown at the O.K. Corral in 1881. Larry McMurtry states in the forward, “The Last Kind Words Saloon is a ballad in prose whose characters are afloat in time; their legends and their lives in history rarely match. I had the great director John Ford in mind when I wrote this book; he famously said that when you had to choose between history and legend, print legend. And so I’ve done.” With that said, I read McMurtry’s story with a grain of salt. Apparently most of the reviewers either missed that early quote or didn’t understand what he was saying. I thought the author’s prose was first-rate, sprinkled with the local flavor of the waning years of the old west. Some reviewers said the chapters were too short...so what. This style of writing makes me want to read more pages per session. I’m the type of reader that counts pages to see how many are left if it appears the chapter is too long.

The story is mostly lighthearted with both Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday not the deadeye shooters that most books portray them to be. Wyatt hardly ever has a job in this novel and is either drunk or arguing with his wife, Jessie, the bartender at The Last Kind Words Saloon owned by Wyatt’s brother, Warren. By the way, when the Earps leave a town, Warren brings the saloon sign with him. Wyatt’s brother Morgan is always the sheriff and Virgil Earp is his deputy. The novel introduces the reader to the real life Texas rancher Charlie Goodnight (known as the father of the Texas Panhandle) and his fictional partner Lord Benny Ernle, a British Baron. Lord Ernle gets killed early in the novel while sprinting with his horse on unfamiliar territory where he falls off a cliff and breaks his neck. We meet  Madame San Saba of the brothel, The Orchid, in Long Grass, Texas. Supposedly, she was rescued from a harem in Turkey by Lord Ernle and taken under his wing. San Saba was reported to still be a virgin (what?). The reader meets the authentic telegraph operator and reporter Nellie Courtright, who was reputed to be the girlfriend of Buffalo Bill Cody, who also makes am appearance in this novel. As a matter of fact, Buffalo Bill hires Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday to join his Wild West Show in Denver for a $100 a show, each to stage a gunfight skit with blanks of course. The boys are a tad leery of blanks, “I’d be wary of it. What if some fool forgot to put blanks in his gun?”, said Doc. The Comanche Chief Quanah Parker, the son of kidnapped Cynthia Ann Parker and Comanche chief Peta Nocona also makes a brief appearance. I wonder if the 1956 John Wayne movie, The Searchers, is loosely based on the authentic Parker incident.

I’m not going to get into the Tombstone gunfight between Wyatt, Doc Holliday, Morgan, and Virgil Earp versus Ike and Billy Clanton, and the McLaury brothers (Johnny Ringo left town before the showdown) at the O.K. Corral. But I will tell you about a funny incident at Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show in Denver. Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday’s first show didn’t go off too well. “The gunfighter skit involving Wyatt and Doc did not, at first, go well at all. For one thing the pair had not bothered to practice - both despised practice, on the whole. “Pull a pistol out of a dern holster and shoot it - why would that require practice?” Wyatt wondered. “Everything about show business requires practice,” Cody told him. “Sure enough, on the very first draw, Wyatt yanked his gun out so vigorously that it somehow flew out of his hand and landed twenty feet in front of him with the barrel in the dirt. Doc, meanwhile, had the opposite problem; he had jammed his pistol in its holster so tight that it wouldn’t come out. This behavior annoyed Doc so much that he ripped off the holster and threw it at a bronc, which happened to be loose in the arena.” I told you that the novel had some humor, didn’t I? Look, I know that this wasn’t McMurtry’s best novel, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. So do I recommend this lightly regarded novel? Did Babe Ruth hit home runs?

RATING: 4 out of 5 stars

Comment: Reading a Larry McMurtry novel keeps my quest to read at least one of all the great cowboy author’s novels intact. The next writer has to be either Louis L’Amour (1952’s Hondo), Jack Shaefer (1963’s Monte Walsh or 1949’s Shane), or A.B. Guthrie (1947’s The Big Sky).

Larry McMurtry’s credentials are amazing. His 1966 novel, The Last Picture Show,also became a hit movie winning two academy awards, as did Terms of Endearment (1975), which won five academy awards. And he and co-writer Diana Ossana wrote the screenplay for Brokeback Mountain, which won three academy awards. Lonesome Dove (the 1985 Pulitzer Prize novel) was a successful winner of seven Emmy awards as a miniseries. Wow!    

edna & luna

The author sent me a autographed copy of her novel to review:

This is another novel that reminds me of Seinfeld’s theme for his TV series, which was “a show about nothing.” This was a novel about nothing. It was a pleasant story and well written but a tad uneventful. I’m just not sure what caused Gleah Powers to write this story. Maybe she wanted to write a story that was the opposite of the 1991 film Thelma and Louise. Thelma’s husband has the same name as Luna’s trailer park landlord, Darryl. And Louise has a boyfriend who would not commit like Luna’s Dr. Mark. Okay, I’m just having some fun, but Gleah Powers’ novel was a bit stodgy...don’t you think?  One last thing...both story venues are in the Southwest. Okay, so what’s this yawner about. Well, there are two main characters, which is a good thing.

The first character is Edna Harwood. She is seventy years old and just lost her husband, Hank, three months after they moved from Chicago to Phoenix. She is lonely. She just found out that she needs a hysterectomy. This reminds her of the miscarriage she had at a much younger age. To make matters worse, somebody burglarizes her home and accidentally dumps Hank’s cremated ashes onto her carpet. For some reason the author often has Edna in a supermarket (usually buying bourbon). Anyway, she meets Joe at a Sun City Senior Citizens Club dance. Joe agrees to build a windbreaker in her backyard. Are you excited yet? Anyhow, Edna will eventually run into Luna at the supermarket...of course.

The second character is Luna, who just left her violent husband. She moves into a trailer park near Edna’s home with her dog, Tula. Luna has been a healer all her life and advertises that fact but has no paying customers as of yet. She has occasional sex with the park’s landlord, Darryl, and a Dr. Mark that she recently met.

So now that I whet your appetite with the modus operandi of the two centerpieces, I’ll leave their subsequent meeting and the crux of the novel for you to read. I don’t want to appear to be uncaring to the author because she has impressive credentials as a painter, actor, and dancer besides other literary accomplishments. But this novel was...humdrum.

RATING: 3 out of 5 stars

Comment: This is probably the shortest review I ever wrote. But besides the Thelma and Louise comparison I made in the first paragraph, which was tongue-in-cheek, there is nothing that I’ve read to compare with her novel.    

ONE GOD: THE WILL TO POWER

The author sent me a copy of her novel to review:

I didn’t think anybody could make the world of genetically modified organisms (GMOs) a somewhat gripping read-through, but Polish writer Kata Mlek easily met my challenge. This is the first novel of a planned trilogy. I thought the ebb and flow of the novel was outstanding with some intervals of relative calm and then many chapters of great peril. The only salient criticism I have of the novel is that there are too many main characters for my taste. I found other minor faults in Kata’s novel, but since I haven’t read her second book in the series, The Last Man, it wouldn’t be fair to bring it up. Jeffrey M. Smith’s 2003 noteworthy expose`on GMOs, Seeds of Deception, seems to back-up the foundation of Kata’s novel. One thing for sure is that Kata Mlek is one fine storyteller. So let me tell you a little about her novel.

The novel takes place in the very near future, mainly in Poland, Hungary and Africa. Miroslav (Miran) works for TransAgra, a company that makes transgenic oats, but Miran wants to start his own GMO company that he names Genesis. He is backed financially by the heir to a Belgian mining fortune, Andreas Maes, and romantically by his best researcher, Sylvia (Satia). Miran is apparently bisexual since he has relations with both genders (Andreas and Satia). The other main player in the GMO world is VitaGen run by Elliot Goldblum. Andreas and his investors decide that Goldblum must go. They kidnap his son Zachary in exchange for his stock in VitaGen. He refuses. A box with his son’s head is mailed to him. I’m only mentioning this because VitaGen and the Goldblums are a very small and early part of the story. Obviously, Andreas' group takes over Vitagen and make Miran the president of the new company, Genesis.

Now the other player in this story is Will Smart, the CEO of EatSmart of Hungary. Since his company knew that GMO plants were mostly outlawed in Europe, he ran a series of Smart’s Organic Farms (SOFs) to compete. His company’s war against Miran’s GMO company is the focal point of the story. How was Genesis going to get their GMO plants unprohibited? What lies did EatSmart make up to enrage the public against Genesis? Smart’s farms would recruit families to live on his farms to produce “crops using natural seeds and fertilizers.” Why was Smart running his farms like a cult? Is Smart’s EatSmart company just as unprincipled and miscreant as Miran’s Genesis company? You Bet Your Bippy! And, you haven’t met the Beata and Yatsek family; the Anna and Mihal family; Emeryk Baranovski or Levi yet. The struggle for the dominance of the world’s food supply by Genesis and EatSmart goes on throughout the 247 pages of this novel. And, according to the author, into the next novel.

This novel was a surprise to me. The teasers that I read didn’t make it seem that I would like the story. I think the big reason this novel was a joy to read was because Kata Mlek left out all the technical jargon about GMOs. If I want to know the technical side of GMOs, I will grab a textbook on the subject (Haha, highly unlikely). Good job, Kata, I highly recommend your novel.  
 
RATING: 4 out of 5 stars

Comment: If you want to see a first-rate movie about the GMO problem, watch Daryl Wein’s 2015 movie, Consumed, starring Danny Glover, Zoe Lister-Jones, and Victor Garber.

Environmental activist Erin Brockovich said about the movie, “Entertaining, relatable, suspenseful and informative, and a real eye opener to what is going on. This film has re-inspired and educated me. BRAVO!"

HERO OF THE EMPIRE

Candice Millard’s third book is more than satisfactory, but not as exciting as her first two narrative nonfiction efforts. The first book, Destiny of the Republic (see my review of 1/17/2012) was about the assassination of President James Garfield and the second book, The River of Doubt (see my review of 2/19/2012) was about the near death of Theodore Roosevelt on an unmapped tributary of the Amazon River. They were rousing page-turners. This novel is about the younger years of Winston Churchill, and it did not stimulate me like the first two books did. Maybe the deadpan or dry British wit got to Candice Millard...I’m not sure. Since she writes in the style of Erik Larson and David McCullough, she is still one of my favorites. What is amazing though is that by 1913 (eleven years after the Boer War was over), the British still controlled 24% of the earth’s total land area and 23% of the world’s population (412 million people). How did that little country do that? And don’t forget that those numbers were after they lost the American territory in the Revolutionary War. Does Queen Victoria (who reigned for over 63 years) get credit for the great expansion of the British Empire? One would have to say...yes.

Winston Churchill was born with the proverbial silver spoon in his mouth. That said, he wasn’t a person that always took advantage of that fact. His father, Lord Randolph Churchill, was Chancellor of the Exchequer and the leader of the House of Commons. Winston’s parents were personal friends of the Prince of Wales, Queen Victoria’s heir. Notwithstanding, Winston, since childhood, wanted to win his own glory and gallantry in battle. He practiced his battle plans with his 15,000 toy soldiers as a youth. When he was finally able to join the army, The Daily Chronicle called him a whippersnapper. “Churchill knew that the surest and quickest route to recognition, success and perhaps, if he was lucky, fame was a military medal.” For that “He was willing to risk anything, even his life.” Churchill believed that, by hook or by crook, he was predetermined to be famous and that was the crux of his bravery. “Churchill had seen real fighting for the first time in 1895. Instead of spending his leave playing polo or foxhunting like most young officers, he had gone to Cuba as a military observer, joining a fighting column of the Spanish army during an uprising that was a prelude to the Spanish-American War.” It was during this time that he began the life-long habit of smoking cigars (preferably, Cubanos).

In 1896, Churchill arrived in India hoping to fight in the Pashtun revolt, but commander Sir Bindon Blood sent him a telegram saying, “Very difficult; no vacancies...come as a correspondent; will try to fit you in.” Churchill saw for himself how astonishingly accurate the Pashtun riflemen were. “Even more frightening than the Pashtuns long-range marksmanship was the ferocity with which they fought hand to hand, face-to-face.” Churchill observed, “Careless of what injury they may receive, they devote themselves to the destruction of their opponent...unflinching in the face of their own suffering, the Pashtun were merciless when it came to the enemy’s. They did not just kill but slaughtered, slicing men’s bodies to ribbons with their long, curved swords.” That is the review of the first 14 pages. The rest of this 381 page narrative nonfiction book deals with Churchill’s time in South Africa during the second Boer War, his incredible bravery, capture and daring escape to freedom. Now that I know what made Churchill “tick”, I have the utmost respect for him. Candice’s book or historical fiction novel (I’m never sure what to call a narrative nonfiction) is backed up by 63 pages of notes. It’s worth reading this obscure piece of history.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: What surprises me is that in 1899 the British were still a believer in the fair fight. Didn’t they learn their lesson during the Revolutionary War? “Unlike the Boers, who had been sharpshooters nearly all their lives, this was an entirely new world to the British. So alien (are you kidding me?) was the concept of a man who shot from a distance and in hiding, rather than in a highly visible battlefield formation, that even the word “Sniper” was new to them.” Don’t they remember the American ambushes? Finally after many lost battles, the British were waking up, “Whether they liked it or not, however, battle by battle the British were learning from the Boers. They were beginning to see the advantages of blending into their surroundings, being quiet and quick, and even ducking.”    

GRIM NORA and the Secret of the Skull

The author sent my thirteen year old grandson, Kai, an autographed copy of her novel to review:

Grim Nora starts off very strange. Right off the bat, the first paragraph starts with Nora’s father already dying on her sixteenth birthday. After being late to her birthday celebration with her friends at the Yggdrasil Coffee Shop, she is approached by a odd figure who asks about the strange skull-shaped pocket watch that her father gave to her before his mysterious death. To make Nora’s birthday worst for her, she soon discovers that her boyfriend, Connor, is cheating on her.

While walking home depressed, Nora realizes that she is being followed. She tries to lose him, but the man is soon sprinting after her. Nora ducks into an alleyway, but she is discovered. The man turns into a horrible beast and tries to take her pocket watch off her. Luckily, the beast is fought off by the owner of the coffee shop that she was just at. From here on, Nora’s life will not ever be the same.

Overall, this fantasy YA novel by A.M. Albaugh was very good, except for one thing. In my opinion, at the end of the novel, there are too many things that are concluded that I think should have been saved for another novel. For this reason the novel just misses a five star rating. I would give it a 4.5 star rating if I could. I would recommend this YA novel to the 12 to 18 age group.

RATING: 4 out of 5 stars

Comment: I noticed that as Kai gains experience reviewing YA/fantasy novels, he has become a tad stingy in the five star rating department. Once you’ve read many similar type novels, you start forming opinions on what you like or dislike. That’s when a reviewer stops “rubber stamping” every novel that he/she reads with five stars.

The Footsteps of Cain

The author sent me a copy of his novel to review:

Derek Kohlhagen has written a gem of a horror fiction novel. The Horror Writer’s Association says that “Horror fiction is fiction that elicits intense fear, dread or dismay in the reader”. Well, this novel does that and more. Why is this indie novel not a bestseller? Why hasn’t a major publisher picked up the option on this novel? It’s the best indie novel that I’ve ever read in my seven years of reviewing books on my site. Did the novel have a fault? Yes it did, I almost hesitate to mention it since it’s so minor compared to the almost squeaky clean story, but as it is my nature, I’ll nickel-and-dime it anyway. At times, the lack of vernacular language rubbed me the wrong way. True, we don’t know what year this story takes place, but one has to assume that when we go back 20,000 years to learn the story of Ejelano and the Spirit, the dialect would be in a more primitive form. Certainly the Spirit wouldn’t say things like, “THIS IS MY SUPERBOWL”, or "YADDA YADDA YADDA", or “THE GUYS IN THE OFFICE HAD A POOL ON YOU” (to fail or not to fail). Anyway, despite that minor flaw (maybe it’s me), I savored the novel. The chapters flipping back and forth between the main characters (Samuel and Ejelano, the immortal) created a desire to read quickly to find out what happened next (the 388 pages rushed by). And the author’s ability to tease the chapter endings was clever. Okay already, what’s this novel about? I was hoping you would ask that question.

A man in a wasteland gets walking dreams about a woman named Lena. When he wakes, he can’t remember...it’s been so long. Then the Spirit jars him to attention. “AHH. ALRIGHTY, THEN. LET’S GET THE LEAD OUT, MY BOY. WE’RE BEHIND SCHEDULE. COME ON, OFF YOU GO. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR! HIPPITY HOP, VERMIN, HIPPITY HOP!" (the Spirit always talks in capital letters). The man thinks, “I’m not doing this for you. I never have." (speaking to the Spirit in his mind, he hasn’t used his vocal chords for thousands of years). “WHATEVER YOU WANT TO TELL YOURSELF. NOW, LET’S GO KILL SOME MORE PEOPLE! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? YOU’RE ALMOST DONE!” Wow, is that a feisty opening or what? The man is immortal. “The immortal had forgotten his name, eons ago. He never used it, never spoke it aloud anymore, and over the expanse of time it had slipped from his memory like so many other things. He remembered precious little about where he’d come from.” The immortal had destroyed most of mankind during the last 20,000 years or so. He was heading for the last place (where humans still live).The reason he is walking the earth and killing mankind is because of a woman. “Her name was Lena. Her name was Lena, and she’d been dead a very long time.” “HEEEY! YOU’RE NOT AS FAR GONE AS I THOUGHT! LEEEENA! AND YUP, SHE’S DEAD. OF ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD (WHAT’S LEFT OF THEM, AT LEAST) YOU WOULD KNOW THAT THE BEST, WOULDN’T YOU?”

Meanwhile, the scene shifts to the last place, the Spire. It’s a 600 year old mining facility that could house a thousand people under its dome. Samuel is the maintenance chief and part of the council that runs the complex. It’s surrounded by a massive outer wall sixty feet tall and thirty feet thick. The problem is that they know very little about the computers and servers that run the compound. Many of the generators remained dormant because Samuel and his crew didn’t know how to get the files out of the servers. They only had partial lighting for the same reason. They didn’t know how to close the massive gate or how to fire the cannons situated on the eight guard towers atop the wall. This system was installed hundreds of years before the last humans stumbled upon the huge facility. The goal of the computer room researchers (led by Samuel Creado, Kelly Prince, and their crew) was simple...find out how everything works! Kelly Prince had permission from Sam to delve into the data drives and recover the lost knowledge and maybe get the sleeping generators to improve the automated production of the farms and water purification plants. Another worry was the unexplained disappearance of people. What could be causing that? “As more investigation went into the unsettling disappearances, a pattern began to emerge. It had been learned that, prior to going missing, the victims had been complaining of flu-like symptoms: pounding headaches, coughing, raging fevers...nosebleeds. Then, one day, they would be erased from the face of the world, leaving the ones who remained completely at a loss.” I know this review is getting long, but I’ve only reviewed the first 23 pages...so much happens in this novel that it’s hard to make my review brief.

Okay, now the third problem at the Spire facility is Tristan Englewood, the leader of The Church of the Reclamation. Tristan’s father had seen the immortal and his black cloud of crows destroy a town. His father wrote The Message and passed it on to Tristan. It told the Prophet’s story. “Witnessing this thing, I named it Reclaimer, for that is its form and function...to recapture and purify the souls of who remained of this world and leave behind something suitable for rapture...to recall the worthy and cast them forward into the What Comes After.” Thus, a religion was born. Tristan is becoming a problem for Sam and the council. He is convincing people to join his religion with his sermons on his makeshift pulpit, “Fear not, blessed people of the Spire! This is not where you will end! Many layers of paradise await you, if you will only see the truth! The Reclaimer is not a monster! Not evil! He comes to ease your pain, and deliver you beyond this horrid place! Fear is unnecessary! We will be the last ones of our kind to exit this world, and we can do so with grace if we but submit to his will!” Is Tristan right? Is Ejelano the savior? Or is there a big surprise for The Church of the Reclamation coming? Haha, I think so. I have to say that I was impressed with the author’s storytelling abilities. Every time the reader thinks he has a handle on the plot, another problem pops up, even for the immortal who is walking in the direction of the Spire.

“One foot, and then the other. On and on he walked. He was a man, but was also much more...much different than what a man was. He could do things that regular men could only dream of. He was strong. Fast. He could see things miles away with crystal clarity.” He was Ejelano, the immortal. As he walked toward the last place, “...a rumbling sound rose up from all around him. All at once, the ground was shaking and heaving, so much that he was raised up several feet and then unceremoniously dropped as the ground fell underneath him. He was only just barely able to keep his footing. A fissure in the earth ripped open at his heels, and from inside an illumination of the purest white sprang forth. He leaped away from it, bewildered.” It was like the earth was being eaten. Was it? The Spirit seemed startled. “UH OH. The voice was confused...profoundly uneasy. He had never known it to express fear, but its current tone was the closest he had heard it come. Wait. This...wasn’t you? NO, IDIOT...THIS ASSUREDLY WAS NOT ME. SOMETHING’S WRONG. IT SHOULDN’T BE HAPPENING SO SOON. What do you mean? What is it? DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT. WE’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. YOU NEED TO GET MOVING. NOW.” Okay, that’s it, I reviewed the first 87 pages out of a 388 page novel. This novel was some trip. I don’t know what genre the author thinks his novel belongs to, but I say its Horror. It’s way too early to mention Derek Kohlhagen’s name alongside, dare I mention, Stephen King...but it’s worth considering. By the way, I noticed that the author is a big fan of the ellipsis...so am I. Anyway, grab your own copy of this masterpiece and find out how all this ends...not for nothing, you will not believe the final showdown.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: I might have got carried away with my review, but it’s been a long time since I read a horror novel this good, especially with a newbie self published novel. Incidentally, I looked at Goodreads.com’s list of the best horror novels and would you believe that Stephen King has six of his novels in the top ten, including the top three spots. The leading three novels are The Shining (1977), It (1986), and ‘Salem’s Lot (1975). Can the man write, or what? And his son, Joe Hill isn’t too bad himself. In the top fifty list, he comes in fifteenth with Heart-Shaped Box (2007) and thirty-sixth with Horns (2009).

MORTY'S TRAVELS

The author sent me a copy of his book to review. Review done by Children's Picture Book Specialist, Pat Koelmel:

Author/illustrator Anderson Atlas calls his 2016 space romp, Morty’s Travels, a cross between a picture book and chapter book, and I would have to agree. I would suggest for next time, though, to either expand on a story until it’s a real chapter book or chip away at the text until it’s a 600-word maximum (an industry standard) picture book. After all, a book for children should be one or the other as age ranges differ with each. Okay, let’s move on to the story. What’s it all about?


After inhaling the pollen from an unknown species of flower (later identified as the humongo flower), Morty finds himself transported from Earth to another planet. The story follows him on his quest to return home which takes him to yet another planet called Lan Darr. Youngsters will enjoy the tension created by the strange characters and numerous obstacles Morty encounters as he searches for the elusive pollen that will bring him back home. They will also get a kick out of the many aliens pictured in the colorful illustrations. In this reviewer’s opinion, drawing aliens is Mr. Atlas’s forte. Readers can also try their hand at drawing aliens with the help of the bonus step-by-step “Draw an Alien” tutorial, which comes included.

What wasn’t so successful was Star’s (the space woman Morty befriends during his travels) explanation to Morty on how he could tell which people are bad and which are good. This is preachy (a big no-no in children’s literature). Kids just want to be entertained like anyone else. Additionally, while kids enjoy stories with adult figures (as in the 2011 picture book Those Darn Squirrels by Adam Rubin and Daniel Salmieri), I feel, in this particular case, the Star character would have been more relatable to children had she been the same age as Morty verses an adult.

There are also some editing issues. I found several inconsistencies throughout the book. For instance, when Morty first comes across the humongo flower on Earth, he doesn’t know what it is. However, when he meets Star, he calls it by name. I found some typos, too, as well as missed opportunities to tighten up the text.

So, do I recommend this book or not? After weighing the good and the bad, I say, “Heck, yes!” In spite of some of the negatives mentioned, Mr. Atlas has a flair for delivering a kid-friendly tale, and his detailed, imaginative drawings are, well, out of this world.

 RATING: 4 out of 5 stars

Comment: While by no means have I read every picture book on space travel, a favorite of mine is The Way Back Home (2008) by Oliver Jeffers. And after checking Goodreads list of picture books on the subject, it appears to be preferred by many as it ranks #6 out of 107.

Who Was Joseph Pulitzer?

The author sent me a copy of his novel to review:

The lack of notes in this somewhat historical novel impinges on the validity of the genre. Terrence Crimmins has written a decent story about Joseph Pulitzer, but without defining notes, it just becomes a novel. I’m certainly not accusing Mr. Crimmins of making this story up; it’s just that without the appropriate notes...it’s merely a novel. There were also some storytelling errors, such as on page twenty two. Joseph was just fired as a waiter at a popular restaurant, when one of the restaurant’s regular customers says, “Aw, Joseph, don’t feel so bad. Being a waiter is a tough job...some friends of mine own a law firm and they could use somebody to run errands, and maybe more. What do you think?” Joseph says, “Can I start right now?” The very next line says, “So began Pulitzer’s career in journalism…” What happened to the law job? The lack of continuity is a big bugaboo of mine among other literary malfunctions. I’m not trying to be gruff to the author, but if you are writing a historical fiction novel...make it 100% believable. We all know that Joseph Pulitzer established his prize in various literary categories (in his will) upon his death, and Mr. Crimmins does enlighten the reader to the Hungarian immigrant’s rise to fame. But why does the reader have to refer to SparkNotes to verify the legitimacy of Mr. Crimmins claims. Again, I’m not charging Terrence Crimmins of anything...just make it easier for the reader to presume what you wrote is accurate. Make sense?
 
A seventeen year old Joseph Pulitzer didn’t approve of his mother’s second husband, so he left home trying to enlist in various armies including his homegrown Hungarian Army. He was rejected because of his frail looking body. Finally, when he went to Germany, he found a American Union Army recruiting office looking for men to fight in the Civil War. But when he arrived in the Port of New York, he found out that he was going to be cheated out of his bounty money, so he dove overboard and became a runaway. Subsequently, he joined the Lincoln NY Cavalry and received his bounty. But after striking a non-comm officer, he became a orderly for a officer throughout the Civil War. After the war, Pulitzer headed to St. Louis in hopes of finding work. “He had a huge ambition and a lofty opinion of himself as a man who could achieve great things, and in this he was correct. He was also very sensitive, did not take orders well, and was what we would today call a control freak. Pulitzer had an ego that made him feel he could do things better than other men, and considered it a gross injustice when any other occupant of the planet earth ever questioned his judgement...today we might call Pulitzer bi-polar.” Pulitzer goes to the library every night, “becoming a self-taught man who not only learned the intricacies of the English language, but passed an exam to obtain a law license.”

After many lowly jobs in St. Louis, he became a cub reporter for the St. Louis Post. The owner of the paper, Mr. Schurz, took him under his wing. Pulitzer exposed injustices throughout St. Louis thus making enemies of the greedy opposition (this habit would last a lifetime). He quickly rose in rank inside of Mr. Schurz’s newspaper, eventually buying the paper from Schurz. When he met his future wife, Kate, she wanted to know what his goal was. He said, “To help the millions of immigrants who weren’t as lucky as me.” Doesn’t that sound like today’s plight in the USA? Somethings seem to repeat themselves every hundred years or so. Pulitzer ultimately merged with The Dispatch and it became the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Pulitzer hires a cub reporter, William Randolph Hearst, who recently dropped out of Harvard University. However, the golden spoon Hearst soon left for San Francisco to start his own newspaper empire. Meanwhile, Pulitzer’s continuing editorial attacks of “the powers that be” caused problems for his now wife, Kate. “Pulitzer had to hire bodyguards to accompany both himself and Cockerill (his main man) about town, and they continued to be snubbed in high society. This was deeply disturbing to Kate, who had never considered the possibility that her marriage would affect her social standing.” The rest of this book is history. It’s up to you to grab your own copy of this novel to unearth the conclusion. I know that I criticized the author in the first paragraph, but his novel deserves to be read.
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RATING: 3 out of 5 stars

Comment: I especially liked page 263 (two pages from the end):

"So, now that we are at the end of our little story, who was Joseph Pulitzer? He was a man with a fascinating life, who came to America as an angry seventeen-year-old who barely spoke English, yet developed and owned two major papers in the country some twenty years later. Despite numerous challenges, including poverty and antisemitism, he succeeded, and not only did he succeed but he brought out a new and different kind of journalism. He reached out to people who had not previously read newspapers, connecting with them on a gut level that raised their expectations of their own fate. It was odd that, as an immigrant, he brought about a very American cultural revolution, and helped to shake the ground under the powers-that-be that changed the whole tone of political life.”