the HANDMAID'S TALE

If you are a chauvinist pig, you will love this 1985 novel by Margaret Atwood. While there are no creatures such as the crakers in Atwood’s Oryx and Crake (see my review of 3/12/2015), it is still one spooky dystopian story. Our story is way into the future where the USA is now Gilead, except for Hawaii and Alaska. Somehow congress and the senate were wiped out (murdered?) by some group (never identified in the novel) and the constitution was replaced by The Book of Genesis with the new leader’s interpretation. What were they reading? Except for some barren wives married to commanders, all women had no power or rights. There were some women assigned to cook and maintain a commander’s house (the Marthas and the econowives), but the majority were handmaidens. What are handmaidens?  They are women all dressed the same: long red dress like a moo-moo and a large white bonnet with blinkers (so they couldn’t see right or left). They do small chores (in pairs) like walking to a meat market named All Flesh to pick up tonights meat for their assigned commander’s house. Their main responsibility is to have sexual intercourse with their commander while the wife (usually barren) holds the handmaiden down. How else is this regime going to populate the New USA? Yes, I remember the 1950s…”keep them barefoot and pregnant”. Remember? Haha. The ladies are constantly watched by Angels, Guardians, or a big black truck with a large eye painted on it. Any protesters are gunned down by the new army. 

I could go on and on about the depressing lives women now endured, but I just wanted to give you a taste of what this story was all about. Where are the husbands of the handmaidens? You are briefly told that there is rebel fighting somewhere. Our narrator for this tale is Offred. Real names are forbidden for women except for the wives of a commander. We never find out what Offred’s real name is. All names now start with “Of”, so the narrator’s name means: Of Fred. What happened to her real husband Luke? I think the main criticism I have for Atwood’s writing is that she is too secretive. Stop leaving me out to hang and dry! Don’t let me squeeze the pages like a lemon for a drop of information. I know she finally wrote the sequel to this story in 2019 (The Testaments), but come on...that’s 35 years ago! You are an old woman now! Haha. Does she finally divulge what the hell’s going on? Don’t get me wrong...I loved the story. But the 93 authors that follow my reviews know I always find something wrong. My last beef is that if you are going to use Cormac McCarthy’s style of writing (no quotation marks)...stick with it. I believe the first page that you used with quotation marks was page183. Every time I read a dystopian novel, I say I’m not going to read another...they are too depressing… then I read another one. Now if you want to criticize me, I know, I know, I know that I love my ellipsis and parentheses, but that’s my style of writing. Oh okay, also writing paragraphs that are too long.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment:

I’m not surprised that Atwood finally wrote a second book, because late in this book, Offred says, “I’m sorry there is so much pain in this story. I’m sorry it’s in fragments, like a body caught in crossfire or pulled apart by force. But there is nothing I can do to change it.”

“I’ve tried to put some of the good things in as well. Flowers, for instance, because where would we be without them?”

“Nevertheless it hurts me to tell it over, over again. Once was enough: wasn’t once enough for me at the time? But I keep on going with this sad and hungry and sordid, this limping and mutilated story…”

At the novel’s end, there is a historical notes section that is a very interesting addition to this novel. It’s the year 2195. Professors are having a symposium about a tale (this story) they found in an old storage trunk along with other memorabilia of the time. Professor Pieixoto starts the proceedings with, “...I wish, as the title of my little chat implies, to consider some of the problems associated with the soi-disant manuscript which is well known to all of you by now, and which goes by the title of The Handmaid’s Tale.”  

Well done Margaret Atwood!

The Last Day

It was a good novel, but not as good as I thought it would be. The premise got my sci-fi mind drooling. Just think of it...the rotation of the earth slows then finally stops. I’m asking myself, “What happened and how can it be fixed? What countries are now permanently in the dark and cold? Which ones are now permanently sunny and hot? Are there some countries that will straddle the line and have great weather? If so, will they try to rule the world?” So you can see how tasty this novel could be. Andrew Hunter Murray wrote a good story, just not as strong as it could have been. He is somewhat talented in the descriptive end, but a little shallow in keeping the reader excited. I also had the feeling that he was trying to write at the same pace Dan Brown writes novels. Murray’s main character, Dr. Ellen Hopper (an ocean scientist studying currents) is trying to solve her mystery at the same breakneck speed Dan Brown’s, Professor Robert Langdon (see my review of Origin on 10/24/2017), a religion symbologist, does. The only thing similar is they both have unusual occupations. So here’s a little taste of the novel. 

Early on (page 38 of 407 pages), the reader finds out how earth’s problems started: “Eventually, the cause was discovered. A white dwarf star, a rare celestial creature the size of earth but two hundred thousand times as dense, loosed from its own star system by a supernova explosion, now free to barrel through space disrupting everything in its path. It was traveling at two thousand kilometers a second through this part of the Milky Way, its trajectory and enormous gravity dragging the earth slowly backward, its path as perfect as if it had been designed by some malign heavenly committee. It was already millions of kilometers away by the time it was spotted, speeding from the wreckage, its damage done.” So you see, it doesn’t seem like anything could have been done to avoid the inevitable...maybe if we could have gotten Indiana Jones involved. Haha, just kidding.

The novel starts in the year 2059, thirty years after the slowing earth finally stopped. We meet our heroine, Dr. Ellen Hopper, out on a rig in the North Atlantic charting the new currents and whale patterns. Whoopi! (sorry). Anyway, two mysterious people from Britain helicopter onto the rig to bring her back to London. It seems a famous Oxford professor Edward Thorne (on his death bed) has something he only wants to tell his ex-student, Ellen Hopper. What’s so secretive that he will only speak to her...not even to the prime minister. This reminded me of how Dan Brown’s hero, Robert Langdon was whisked off to the Vatican City in Angels & Demons. This is where the story takes off and where I’m going to leave you to agree or disagree with my review… after you read it. 
 
RATING: 4 out of 5 stars

Comment: There is a novel that I read and reviewed on 3/28/2013 that dealt with the earth’s slowing rotation... The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker. Walker’s novel dealt with the slowing rotation viewed through the eyes of an adolescent girl in California. It was more about how gravity sickness affected a town in California. Gravity sickness was never mentioned in Murray’s novel. Neither novel reached apocalyptic proportions, which was refreshing.

The first work of apocalyptic fiction goes to Jean-Baptiste Cousin de Grainville, who wrote Le Dernier Homme in 1805. Wow, that was a mouthful! It translates to The Last Man. Lord Byron’s 1816 poem Darkness deals with the sun’s extinction. And Frank Lillie Pollock has a second sun incinerate earth in his 1906 poem, Finis. Popular H.G. Wells wrote The Time Machine in 1895 and has his time traveler witness the sun’s expansion, wiping out the earth’s population. 

COUNTDOWN 1945

Move over Erik Larson, there’s a new sheriff in town and his name is Chris Wallace (just kidding). Well, Wallace’s book is certainly on par with the writer of Dead Wake, Erik Larson, the king of non-fiction books that read like fiction. Wallace’s chapters were countdown days to the atomic bombing of Hiroshima, Japan during WWII. For instance, the first chapter was countdown: 116 days, and the last two chapters were countdowns: 43 seconds and Firestorm. Each chapter ending with a cliffhanger to the next. I also liked the short chapters, long ones put me to sleep for whatever reason. The book was co-written by Mitch Weiss, winner of the 2004 Pulitzer Prize for Investigative Reporting and bestselling author of the Heart of Hell...so I’m going to assume he had a lot to do with Countdown 1945.

Countdown 1945 goes over in detail the last 116 days of The Manhattan Project, the death of FDR, the emergence of Harry S. Truman, the last weeks of the famous Potsdam Conference (Stalin, Churchill, & now Truman replacing FDR), the genius of J. Robert Oppenheimer and his team and of course, Col. Paul Tibbets, Jr, and his crew that flew the B29 Superfortress (Enola Gay) that dropped Little Boy (atomic bomb) on Hiroshima on 8/6/1945. Was that a long fused sentence, or what? 

Oppenheimer headed the team at Los Alamos, New Mexico where they finished the development of the atomic bomb. He was the son of a German immigrant, six feet tall, 135 pounds with an “appetite for rare steaks, stiff martinis, spicy foods, and cigarettes.” And did I forget to mention “a genius of theoretical physics?” Students at Berkeley and California Institute of Technology loved him! “But Oppenheimer had a dark side, too...he didn’t tolerate small talk...dismissive to the point of rudeness and his brilliance could be clouded by melancholy and peevishness.”

“FDR thought very little of Truman, keeping him out of the war effort during Truman’s short stay at VP...he made no particular impression on me.” That’s why Truman didn’t know anything about the Manhattan Project. Truman was president for 13 days before the Secretary of War, Henry L. Stimson, walked into the oval office. “He handed the president a short, typewritten memorandum and waited while Truman read it. The first sentence was a battering ram...within four months we shall in all probability have completed the most terrible weapon ever known in human history, one bomb of which could destroy a whole city.” It will be (down the line) Truman’s call whether to drop the bomb or not.

 “Creating an atomic bomb was a devilishly complex process. First, the country had to produce radioactive fuel. Then it had to figure out how to safely detonate the fission process-setting off an atomic chain reaction-at the right moment and in the right place. And it had to pull all of this in complete secrecy.” There you go, you got a 43-page taste of what this book is all about. Did I like it? No. I loved it!

RATING: 5 stars out of 5

Comment: “The closer the U.S. got to the Japanese homeland, the more fiercely the enemy fought. Not a single Japanese unit surrendered. And the enemy homeland was mobilizing for an invasion and the bloodiest battle of all. Japan had more than two million troops stationed there. And every civilian had been armed and trained to fight.” 

After the successful testing of the atomic bomb in the desert of New Mexico on 7/16/1945, the Los Alamos workers partied in the streets. Hooray, hooray.

Then the euphoria died down.

When Oppenheimer imagined what it would be like to be under the explosion in Hiroshima, he mumbled to himself…”Those poor little people. Those poor little people.” President Truman wrote in his diary, “We have discovered the most terrible bomb in the history of the world.” General Eisenhower was against the dropping of the bomb, he wanted to overrun Japan. Truman wondered if he should warn Hiroshima, would they still surrender? If he did invade the main islands, the price could be millions of dead and wounded Americans besides the Japanese dead and wounded.

the BIG FELLA

Jane Leavy, author of The Last Boy: Mickey Mantle (see my first review of 11/15/2010) writes an enjoyable tale of Babe Ruth’s historical barnstorming tour of 1927 with Lou Gehrig. Ruth had just finished the 1927 season with a record of 60 home runs. The hard-nose Commissioner of major league baseball, who was hired by baseball because of the 1919 Black Sox scandal, had a rule that the winner of the World Series couldn’t barnstorm that year. What?? Babe didn’t care about rules or fines. He made more money than God (just a phrase, but almost true) with his countless endorsements, vaudeville acts and silent movie appearances. The Babe had a sports agent! Yes, Christy Walsh is the sport’s world’s first full-time agent...and his only client was the Babe (who needs anybody else). The Babe’s team was called “Bustin Babes” and Lou’s team was “Larrupin’ Lou’s. They toured many cities from the east coast to the west coast, playing local all-stars sprinkled in with some major leaguers. They attended and missed many town breakfasts, luncheons, and evening banquets and local award ceremonials they were invited to. It’s been said that they signed 5,000 baseballs during the tour! Every town in America wanted it.

I wasn’t aware of how badly the Babe was harassed and catcalled his during his career. His ethnicity was constantly questioned because of his big lips. People like Ty Cobb (a known racist) yelled the N-word at Babe from his dugout whenever the Yankees played Detroit. Babe is best described by Brother Gilbert from St. Mary’s in Baltimore (Babe’s childhood home), “If you ever wanted to see a bone out of joint or one of nature’s misfits, you should have seen him.” A sportswriter said, “His ears stuck out. Like handles on a loving cup. His hair stuck up. His nostrils spread wide. His lips were full as the rest of him would become. He was dark complected, having inherited his olive skin from his mother’s side of the family. In the rough tongue of the playground, he quickly acquired a nickname: Nigger Lips, or Nig, for short.” Wow, yet he succeeded big time. “George Ruth never shared his first impressions of St. Mary’s with his family. He never spoke about what it was like to go from being one of two surviving children in a family defined by a loss to be one of the many, what it was to go to bed that night wondering when or if he’d see that family again. He never said what it was like to sleep in ordered rows and dress in matching clothes, to share sinks and stalls in a communal washroom, to surrender to a system predicated on uniformity and routine.” Doesn’t it make sense that as the Babe got older, he became a nonconformist and a champion for orphaned boys?

In the late 1940s, as Babe was dying, the author spelled out the many opinions of various doctors. Even during his dying days, everybody wanted a piece of him. John Rattray, a Maryland chiropractor, thought the operation to stop his headaches was unnecessary. “Rattray was convinced he could have restored the Babe to full health and that he died not of cancer but as a result of nerves severed during surgery.” Bernarr MacFadden, a physical culture doctor (what!), had Ruth’s picture on the cover of his magazine three months after his death. He said, “If he would have put Babe on an exclusive grape diet he might have returned to the baseball field for many years of active service, notwithstanding his age.” Haha. “Ruth chose another course. He consented to an experimental form of chemotherapy and radiation then being tested on mice at New York’s Mount Sinai Hospital, where doctors reported that tumors treated with the drug melted away.” As Mel Allen, the great NY Yankee announcer would say, “how about that!”

Jane Leavy’s style of writing is soothing but also a little annoying. You will be going along with something interesting and realize that she is suddenly talking about something in the past right in between the current stuff she was just talking about. It’s done almost unobserved. Does that make any sense? Her books do seem to be highly certified though. In this book, she has 104 pages of author’s notes and sources to back up her claims. Overall, I enjoyed this book mostly because of the subject matter...Babe Ruth.

Rating: 4 stars out of 5

Comment: From Jane’s Epilogue:

On August 12th,1948, the hospital announced his condition was critical. Two days later, doctors began issuing hourly bulletins. On the 15th, Paul Carey reached Julia at the nearby hotel where she was staying with Claire, “I think you’d better get over here.”

On Sunday, August 16th,1948, he managed to get out of bed and sit in a chair for twenty minutes, but his breathing was labored. His temperature continued to rise. He told Claire, “Don’t come back tomorrow, I won’t be here.”

Slugger rallies, pulmonary complications. Family at the bedside. Slugger sinking rapidly. Slugger failing.

“The slugger had never failed at anything and he certainly wasn’t going to fail at this. At 6:45 p.m., May Breen DeRose read him a telegram. As she got ready to leave, he lurched out of bed and started across the room. “Where are you going, Babe?” the doctor asked.”
“I’m going over the valley.”

“At 7:30 p.m., he received a final blessing (8/16/1948). Minutes later he fell into a deep coma. He was pronounced dead at 8:01 p.m.”

The autopsy showed that he didn’t die of cancer of the larynx. He died from a very rare and aggressive form of nasopharyngeal cancer that had spread to his neck, his lungs, and his liver.
His granddaughter Linda offered a different opinion. “I think baseball killed him; not cancer. He had no more worth in his head.”

Babe Ruth died at age 53, his clean-up hitter, Lou Gehrig at 37.

SAM HOUSTON & the ALAMO AVENGERS

I’m always a little leary of historical fiction novels written by Fox News Network celebrities. Most of them are published in an uncannily fast time, such as novels written by Bill O’Reilly (ex?), usually co-written with Martin Dugard, published at least once a year. He is what I call a commercial writer. How much research can be done at that pace? But, lo and behold, Brian Kilmeade, Fox News Network TV star (Fox and Friends) and radio star (The Brian Kilmeade Show) seems to have written a book all by his lonesome. So you can imagine that I was apprehensive reading another Fox Network star. Guess what? Although not a fact-filled almanac, I was pleasantly surprised at the author’s historical accuracy. This is not my first rodeo reading about the Alamo and its afterlife. It was a smooth and seemingly factual rendition of one of America’s favorite stories. One thing though...I thought the author spent too much time on The Alamo and too little time on the Avenger part.  

The birth of Texas was started by Stephen F. Austin’s father in 1821. “The fifty-nine-year-old Moses Austin obtained permission from the Mexican governor of Texas, who was eager to populate the sparsely occupied state, for three hundred American settlers to establish a colony there. Just weeks after settling the deal, he died of pneumonia.” On his deathbed, he pleaded for his son, Stephen, to take up his cause. He came. As the years went by, Austin went to see President /General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna about making Texas a separate state. Santa Anna would have nothing to do with that and had him arrested. “He felt lucky when, in late July 1835, he was finally permitted to head home to Texas. After his many months in Mexico City, he fully grasped the size of the enemy; he and his thirty thousand Texian (spelling at the time) settlers faced a fight with a nation of some eight million.”

The fight to take Texas from Mexico (go west, young man's first step? haha) would be a mammoth struggle, to say the least. And Santa Anna was a Napoleon look-alike to the nth degree. Here is a man who ordered one of his own Mexican states (Zacatecas) to give up their weapons and when they refused to give them up...he destroyed them. “The president permitted his soldiers to run wild, setting fires and pillaging. In fact, more than two thousand civilians in the town had been slaughtered, among them hundreds of women and children. Santa Anna’s message was clear: He would be merciless in putting down any who opposed him.” This is the man the brave Texians would have to wrest Texas from. Read the rest of this historical novel to find out how they did it! In it, you will meet President Andrew Jackson, Sam Houston, Jim Bowie and Davy Crockett (see my review of (7/18/2013).

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: Winning the war:

“Sam Houston, through some mix of luck, instinct, fortuitous timing, and good counsel-and bravery-of men around him, did something remarkable. He and his army of farmers and shopkeepers, men distracted by the plight of their families and friends, who had become homeless wanderers fleeing for their lives, faced off with a large professional army, one amply supplied with guns, artillery, and munitions. And won a stunning, one-sided victory.”  

TOUGH LUCK

R. D. Rosen’s biography, Tough Luck, only trails two other sport’s biographies that I have read and liked. My all time favorite is Tunney by Jack Cavanaugh (2006). The story of Gene Tunney’s life and his brilliant upset boxing victories over Jack Dempsey for the heavyweight championship of the world. Next in line is a true hard look at one of baseball’s icons, Joe Dimaggio, The Heroes Life by Richard Ben Cramer (2000). What makes the life of football legend, Sid Luckmam, interesting is how he was able to live a superstar life even though his father was the notorious mobster, Myer Luckman. Yes, friends with the Capones and the Lepkes of the 1930s. Bang Bang, you’re dead. The book opens with Myer Luckman having his own brother-in-law killed for skimming a few bucks to cover his gambling losses. It makes big news in Brooklyn, NY where a budding Erasmus High School football player was emerging. 

The book is narrated by the author, R. D. Rosen,“In 1959, when I was 10 years old, I was fascinated by the new occupants of a big redbrick colonial house around the corner from my family’s quirky custom split-level. Word had spread quickly throughout Highland Park, our suburb on the North Shore of Chicago, that the new occupants were former Chicago Bears quarterback, Sid Luckman and his family.” The author then turns back the clock to Sid’s childhood in Brooklyn, NY. Meyer Luckman loved football (Myer would never see Sid play a Chicago Bear game) and gave Sid a football on his eleventh birthday. Wow, since he owned the only football on the block, guess who was the neighborhood’s mandatory QB? Meyer arranged for NY Giant QB Benny Friedman to show Sid how to hold and throw a ball, although in the early years of football, almost all of the plays were a run. The QB was behind the center, the fullback was behind the QB and a tailback was behind the fullback. This formation was known as the I - Formation. Every team used it. Nearly every play was a run off tackle by the tailback. Ohio State’s legendary coach, Woody Hayes, used to call it, “three yards and a cloud of dust.”  

Sid becomes a star at Erasmus High. Coach Paul Sullivan loves Sid and considers him his son. By the way, Sid’s high school graduated many famous people such as: Yankee pitcher, Waite Hoyt, actresses: Clara Bow, Mae West, and Barbara Stanwyck, singers: Barbra Streisand, Neil Diamond, writers: Mickey Spillane, Roger Kahn and actor Moe Howard of The Three Stooges to name a few. Ha,ha. Anyway, in the stands watching Sid play was Columbia University’s head football coach, Lou Little, chomping at the bit, to sign him up. Lastly, watching Sid play football at Columbia was the Chicago Bears coach, George Halas. George visualized Sid as his QB in his newly formed T-Formation idea. The formation of the future! Finally a passing game! And Halas knew who he wanted for the position. I think the love these two men developed for each other was the best part of the book.

Did I find anything wrong with this book? Well, it was a bit of a snoozer at  times. I have to admit that my head drooped down more than a few times. Also there was no dirt on Sid Luckman. It seemed that anybody who came in touch with him, instantly fell in love with him, including Joe Dimaggio (who was very dirty in his aforementioned biography), Frank Sinatra and the famous Manhattan restaurateur, Toots Shor. And every ballplayer he ever played against (or with) including hall of famers: Otto Graham, Sammy Baugh, Bronko Nagurski, Johnny Lujack, Norm Van Brocklin and George Blanda to name a few who loved him. And he was so generous that he had a room in his Florida house filled with presents! If you visited him...you left with a present. Don’t even ask what kind of tipper he was. 
 
RATING: 4 out of 5 stars

Comment: It seems that Sid was as perfect as you can get. There are plenty of documents at the book’s end that support that fact (I’m trying not to be facetious). The great original owner and coach of the Chicago Bears, George Halas (Papa Bear), typed a letter to Sid five months before Halas died at the age of 88:

My dear Sid, “I love you with all my heart.” When I said this to you last night as I kissed you, I realized 44 wonderful years of knowing you were summed up by seven words.
My boy, my pride in you has no bounds. Remember our word “now!” Every time I said it to you, you brought me another championship.
You added a luster to my life that can never tarnish. My devoted friend, you have a spot in my heart that NO ONE else can claim.
God bless you and keep you, my son. “I love you with all my heart.”
Sincerely yours, George

Sid Luckman kept the original letter framed in his apartment and a copy of it folded in his wallet for the rest of his life.

The War Hound and the World’s Pain

This is a guest review from Deron O:

The War Hound and the World’s Pain is the first of two stories by Michael Moorcock chronicling the history of the von Bek family and their relationship with Lucifer and the Holy Grail. This novel has a more mature tone and style as compared to nearly all of Moorcock’s other novels I’ve read. It took me some time to adjust to that. The constant struggle between Law and Chaos in all of his Multiverse novels is present here in the form of God and Lucifer. Consequently, in addition to the action, there is a significant amount of religious and philosophical discussions that might exhaust readers expecting something more akin to Moorcock’s Elric or Hawkmoon series.

The novel begins at the sacking of Magdeburg, Germany in 1631 in the midst of the Thirty Years’ War. Ulrich von Bek and his band of irregulars, mercenaries for the victorious Catholic army, quit the burning city, tired of the slaughter and discouraged by the lack of loot. Von Bek soon deserts his men when some show signs of the Plague. He heads deep into the Thuringian Forest where he happens upon a castle, strangely uninhabited but immaculately maintained and fully stocked, a fine place to recuperate.

Eventually, the occupants return. First, Lady Sabrina, with whom von Bek falls in love, and later, the lord of the castle, who introduces himself: “Welcome, Captain von Bek. I am Lucifer”. It was not by chance that von Bek found himself in this castle. Lucifer explains, “I am weary of the Earth and still more weary of Hell, captain. I yearn for my position in Heaven...I must make amends...I must discover the Cure for the World’s Pain...God has bestowed the world one object, one means of healing humanity’s ills. If that object is discovered and the world set to right again, then God will listen to me...I might be able to convince Him that I am truly repentant...I am asking you to embark upon a Quest on my behalf. I want you to find me the Cure to the world’s ills...The Holy Grail..”

Von Bek wonders what he gains in exchange for undertaking this hunt and if Lucifer is somehow trying to buy his soul. Lucifer answers, “Buy your soul, von Bek? Did you not realize that I own your soul already? I am offering you the chance to reclaim it.” Seeing no alternative, von Bek assents but not without also including Lady Sabrina’s lost soul in the bargain.

All do not share Lucifer’s desire for reconciliation with God. The minions of Hell enjoy their stations. Will they too be allowed back into Heaven, or be cast forever into Limbo? Faced with this uncertainty, they set out to stop von Bek at all costs!

In broad strokes, the plot mirrors the novel’s backdrop. The Thirty Years’ War began as a religious war between Catholics and Protestants around the time of the Protestant Reformation and ended with the weakening of religion’s influence in the affairs of man. Von Bek, an aspect of the Eternal Champion, similarly brings balance. He says, “I pray, in short, that God exists, that Lucifer brings about His own Redemption and that mankind therefore shall in time be free of them both forever: for until Man makes his own justice according to his own experience, he will never know what true peace can be.”

Once in the right mindset, I enjoyed this first tale of von Bek and appreciated Moorcock’s attempt at something a little more ambitious.

4 out of 5

Comments

There is a character named Philander Groot. In chapter 10, he says, "I am Groot. Groot is who I am." I was struck by that as it sounds like someone else’s catchphrase.

Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy was created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in 1960; but according to this article, it was only in 2008 during the Annihilation Conquest comic book miniseries that Groot began saying, “I am Groot.” 

Given that The War Hound and the World’s Pain was published in 1981, is it possible that the writers of Guardians of the Galaxy lifted that now famous line? Considering Michael Moorcock’s influence on comics and fantasy in general, I’d have to lean towards “Yes”. I have absolutely no proof of that, but it would be cool.

THE SEVEN AND A HALF DEATHS OF EVELYN HARDCASTLE

This novel made me dizzy and woozy with a slight case of vertigo at times. If you saw Bill Murray’s movie, Groundhog Day... multiply the confusion by one thousand, and you will be at this novel’s level. If Stuart Turton didn’t possess such wonderful writing skills, I would have thrown the book against the wall. And here is an example of his descriptive skills, “The fellow who enters is large and shambling, scratching a head full of white hair, dislodging dandruff in every direction. He’s wearing a rumpled blue suit below white whiskers and bloodshot red eyes, and would look frightful if it weren’t for the comfort with which he carries his dishevelment.” I thought the book had way too many characters, all of them playing a roll in this murder/mystery, thus adding to the confusion. And eight of them became hosts to the malady I call...the waking up for the next eight days in a different person’s body (or much longer). Sometimes the chapters would start off with a new person in a certain host, then lapse back into an old body they had a few days before, while you tried to solve the murder of Evelyn Hardcastle in a rundown castle. You also had to contend with a footman (a liveried servant, who admits guest and serves tables) who was hell-bent on killing each host or anybody else that got in his way. This character never made any sense to me.

The book starts with the narrator, Aiden Bishop, running through a forest shouting “Anna." He thinks to himself, “My mind has gone blank. I don’t know who Anna is or why I’m calling her name. I don’t even know how I got here.” He looks at his hands, “I’m cut short by the sight of my own hands. They’re bony, ugly. A stranger’s hand. I don’t recognize them at all.” He has no idea who he is (many people in this novel are also confused at certain times). He shouts, "Anna" again...a woman screams back, “Help me!” “I spin, seeking the voice, glimpsing her between distant trees. A woman in a black dress running for her life. Seconds later, I spot her pursuer crashing through the foliage after her.”  Aiden hears the fading echo of the pistol’s report. He is exhausted as a man’s warm breath touches his neck and says, “East”. Aiden falls to the ground as the tormentor backs out of the forest. Aiden thinks, “My relief is pitiable, my cowardice lamentable. I couldn’t even look my tormentor in the eye. What kind of man am I.” The alleged murderer left a compass in his jacket pocket. By the way, I’m using the name Aiden Bishop for clarity purposes...he doesn’t know who he is until deep into the story and then he still isn't sure. So he heads east. On page five he breaks out of the woods and sees,”the grounds of a sprawling Georgian manor house, it’s redbrick facade entombed in ivy.” He makes his way to the crumbling old estate’s front door and “hammers it with a child’s fury”. The door is slowly opened and... Welcome to the Hardcastle family’s Masquerade, or the nineteenth anniversary of Thomas Hardcastle’s murder at the Blackheath estate. Sorry, that’s it, you only get a six page taste of this 435 page novel. 

I didn’t love, or hate Stuart Turton’s novel...it just made me pull my hair out too many times. Bang my head against the wall too many times. Pinch my arm. Read with your own peril.

RATING: 3 out of 5 stars

Comment: Some reviewers are comparing Stuart Turton to Agatha Christie. Are they talking about the author who has sold over two billion novels? Are they talking about that author? Nuff said. 

WANDERERS

Chuck Wendig’s chilling novel, Wanderers, is a spectacular work of apocalyptic fiction reminding me and other reviewers of Stephen King’s The Stand. They are similar in that both novels have a raging outbreak that can cause the annihilation of the world’s population. King’s novel has the evil Randall Flagg and Wendig’s novel has the monstrous Ozark Stover. Both antagonists have designs to take control of the USA and beyond during the worldwide turmoil. Politics are involved (another reviewer complaint) but were white noise to me compared to the exciting main drama. Wendig’s novel even mentions The Stand on page 539…”and the world was dying like it’s The Stand.” Hey, it can’t hurt to be compared to King. I don’t know if any other reviewer mentioned the one page prelude, The Comet. What was that for? Anyway, let me tell you a little of the story.

Eastern Pennsylvania: Nessie is the first sleepwalker. Her sister, Shana, sees her empty bed and searches the entire house to no avail. Shana thinks to herself, Nessie ran away again. Dad was already working outside on his cheese dairy farm...she is not with him. Then she spotted Nessie in her PJ pants and pink T-shirt walking down the long driveway heading for the road. Shana tries to wake her up, but Nessie continues walking. “It was then she saw the girl”s eyes. They were open. Her sister’s gaze stood fixed at nothing…dead eyes.” No matter what Shana does stops Nessie. Dad spots the girls. Shana runs back to dad and tells him what’s going on. They jump into his rat-trap pickup to find Nessie, who has already disappeared down the road. They spot Nessie and jump out of the truck to try to stop her. She can’t be stopped. If you try to restrain her, the sound coming from Nessie’s mouth is…”something otherworldly: a whooping, screaming alarm, inhuman in its volume and composition-it grew from that to something animalistic, then the shriek of a wild, vengeful banshee.”

Meanwhile, in Seattle, a Dr. Benji Ray arrives from Hawaii to meet Sadie Emeka, head of The Black Swan program (an offshoot of the CDC). Dr. Ray is updated on the unusual happenings in Pennsylvania. The sleepwalker line that started with Nessie is growing larger by the day. No barrier stops them. They don’t eat, rest, urinate or defecate. They march through any weather (with only the clothes they had on their backs) to an unknown destination. Benji left the CDC (under some dishonor) even though he was the top researcher for the Centers for Disease Control (CDC). Benji wants to know why she called him in since he burned his bridges with the CDC. Sadie says, “Black Swan (a machine intelligence) did.” “Black Swan did what?”, asks Benji. Sadie answers, “Pointed me toward you.” He narrowed his eyes, “I’m sorry I don’t understand.” She said, “Black Swan wants you, Benji. And that’s why I’m here.”

Someone called the police to stop the surging line. A cop shoots his taser at one of the walkers. It does nothing. When the cop physically grabs the man and stuffs him in the squad car, the walker shook with tremors. Then: “The car shuddered. Something dark sprayed up across all the windows. Something red. The glass broke. Inside the car, the cop screamed. Others outside the vehicle began yelling, too, in panic - some running toward it, others fleeing in the opposite direction. The cop staggered out, covered in...something wet. Red and black. Clutching at himself. It’s gore.” Apparently the walker in the squad car heated up and then literally exploded. That was the last time they tried to stop a walker by force. Where are they going? The band now numbers in the hundreds. The walkers are named the flock and the people taking turns walking on their sides are called the shepherds.

You just got a 50 page taste of this 782 page thriller. With 732 pages ahead of you, I’m envious. Benji, Sadie and Shana are only a few of the many protagonist ahead for your reading pleasure. I haven’t mentioned any of the antagonist...you will easily pick them out. Especially the despicable Ozark Stover. I had no trouble remembering all the different characters...you know why? Because the author used simple names to remember...well, duh! Try to explain that to a Russian writer. Right? Vladimir or Vlatko or Vladik or Vlade or Wladek, etc? Haha. Anyway, I know I’m now going to struggle to find a better book to read. Wait, I have an idea...how about reading another Chuck Wendig novel?

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: Lately, I find myself reading longer books. I think the extra pages gives the author adequate time to develop the story and leave the reader satisfied. I noticed that most of the shorter books come to an abrupt ending and leave the reader no time to decipher or enjoy the ending. Wendig’s novels, like Stephen King’s and Dan Simmons’, leave nothing to the imagination. Wanderers had a good 38 pages left to describe the aftermath after the last shot was fired.
 
If you want to read some good long books, grab hold of Stephen King’s It, or Under the Dome. Try Dan Simmons’, Black Hills, The Terror, or Drood...You will love them.