The Wallcreeper

Nell Zell writes a novel that is Much Ado About Nothing (sorry Shakespeare), although there are some funny spots in the novel like the comedic play. I’m not really sure what the purpose of this novel was. We have a expatriate couple living in a suburb of Berne, Switzerland doing whatever. Tiff and Stephen were married three weeks after meeting in a pharmaceutical company. Stephen, besides being a lab worker of sorts, is a birdwatcher. Stephen drives into a rock, or was it the bird. The sudden slight crash causes Tiff to have a miscarriage. Is this even possible? If I were writing this novel, I would come up with something more germane. Maybe seeing a strange bird, I would crash into a concrete medium. Anyway, nobody seems overly sad about the miscarriage; as a matter of fact, while waiting for Tiff to heal, he takes advantage of her other orifices. Other than the smell of some of these escapades, Tiff does not seem to protest.

Anyway, this injured bird turns out to be a Wallcreeper. Stephen takes it into their apartment and puts up pegboard filled with bacon bits for the bird’s enjoyment. The bird likes to say, “twee.” The bird is named Rudolf (Rudi), and after it heals, they open a window and it flies away. Meanwhile, Tiff has an affair with a Syrian Jew named Elvis, who sells beer and candy at a gas station. What? Stephen is having his affairs, including Tiff’s sister, Constance. Stephen joins the Swiss Society for the Protection of Birds so that he can view birds from their advantage points. Then the unexpected happens! Rudi comes back scratching at their window. Birdwatchers get wind of this event and visit the apartment with their cameras and video equipment. It is decided that a chip should be put on Rudi so they can release and track him. He is released into the wild. Stephen and Tiff track Rudi into a forest where he is building a nest.

Tragedy strikes! While building his nest, Rudi is attacked by a hawk, who buries his beak into Rudi’s chest and eats his heart (HaHa). Sorry, I just thought that part was funny. Don’t think that I’m giving away the story because it’s just starting. It seems that the couple were never the same again. Stephen quits his job and joins environmental activist groups in Berlin. Both husband and wife have more affairs seemingly without any cogitation behind it. Where does this novel go from here? You will have to buy your own copy to find out. I usually compare the author’s work with similar works in the first paragraph, but you will notice that I didn’t. That’s because this novel, while somewhat entertaining, didn’t seem to have a plot or direction to compare. I’m not saying this novel was a complete failure, lets just say, “caveat emptor.”

RATING: 3 out of 5 stars

Comment: For the first time, I don’t have one, except that this is the first time that I read a book recommended by The New York Times Book Review that I wasn't thrilled with. Oh well.