SPARX Incarnation: Mark of the Green Dragon

The author sent an autographed copy of his novel to my thirteen year old grandson, Kai, to review:

The Mark of the Green Dragon is an exciting start to a two part series. It starts out with Nud Leatherleaf and his best friend Gariff walking through the bog lands around the town of Webfoot. Nud has just found a mysterious flashing stone. While not sure what to do with it, Nud decides to keep it a secret from his other friends. After some consideration, Nud chooses to visit his grandpa Papolov’s friend, Fyron. The friend is an Elderkin (a race of ancient and wise beings) who Nud calls Uncle Fyron.

Because of a previous strange incident, it took a bit of thought to decide to visit Uncle Fyron. What happened was that Nud found a strange box in Fyron’s attic containing a mysterious creature. Wanting to discover what the creature was, Nud took the box into the woods. Then with a hatchet, he opened the nailed shut lid, but to his horror inside the box was a vile spider-like creature, whose first thought was to attack Nud.

After fleeing, Nud’s experience got even stranger. A group of trees formed a circle around Nud... trapping him. It’s only after one of the trees whipped him in the wrist (leaving a intricate marking that would persist for the rest of his life) that he finds a way to escape and get back to Uncle Fyron’s house.

But he decides to visit his uncle’s house regardless of his previous experience. Nud and his friends are quickly invited in to eat. But after the meal ends and Fyron and Nud are alone, strange things start to happen. This is where the story truly starts.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book. The author, K.B. Sprague, did a good job with character development and the plot, but most of all, the author left me wanting to read more. I definitely recommend this book, however you are going to have to read the second book for the conclusion.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: Once again, my grandson comes up with a quality review.

HEART OF DARKNESS

As with this 1899 classic novella, sometimes too much descriptive writing can somewhat muddy the waters. Written by Joseph Conrad (pen name for Jozef Teodor Konrad Korzeniowski) and originally published in three monthly issues of Blackwood’s Edinburgh Magazine, I occasionally lost touch with the story as I got lost in his flowery language. This is not a bad thing, just a slight sidetrack from the story. You probably remember this seaman/author best for his famous 1900 novel, Lord Jim. Even the first paragraph had to be read several times before I understood it. The Nellie, a cruising yawl was a two-masted fore-and-aft-rigged sailboat sailing down The Thames River in London, England. Since Conrad spent his first 36 years mostly at sea, he assumed his sailor’s cant was a language known by all his readers. I’m not complaining because the story was enjoyable, just not the cat’s meow for a speed reader. An example of Conrad’s descriptive writing (he was very good at describing a character) can be found on page 54 when he is describing the company’s chief accountant that he finds in the muggy jungle, “When near the buildings I met a white man, in such an unexpected elegance of get-up that in the first moment I took him for a sort of vision. I saw a high starched collar, white cuffs, a light alpaca jacket, snowy trousers, a clear necktie, and varnished boots. No hat. Hair parted, brushed, oiled, under a green-lined parasol held in a big white hand. He was amazing, and had a penholder behind his ear.” Most of the novel was written with these embellishments.

The story starts out with Our narrator and protagonist, Charlie Marlow, on a cruise ship (the Nellie) anchored on the Thames River telling some of the passengers how he was appointed captain of a steamboat on the Congo River in darkest Africa. Ever since he was a child, he was mesmerized by the blank spaces on maps. The one that intrigued him the most was the Congo and the big snake-like river, The Congo. After many years out to sea, Marlow applies for a riverboat captaincy on a Congo River steamboat with a Brussels, Belgium ivory trading company. He gets the job and heads to the African coast on a French steamer. Most of the story revolves around his difficulties getting to his job, which was more than 200 miles up the river. He gets on a steamer captained by a Swede and gets dropped off 30 miles up river to his company’s first station. It is blazing hot and steamy. He is horrified at the condition of the blacks working on the railroad. They are going to die under these harsh conditions. He takes a caravan of 60 men and travels on foot to the central station where he finds out from the general manager that his steamboat was curiously wrecked. The general manager says they left without him because they were trying to get to a Mr. Kurtz, who was reportedly dying. Is that why they were trying to get to him? Mr. Kurtz ran the trading post in ivory country. Marlow learns that, “Kurtz sends in as much ivory as all the others put together.” By the way, the paragraphs are very long, which was commonplace in that era.

It takes several months to repair the river steamboat before Marlow departs up river to bring back the mysterious Mr. Kurtz from his station. Is Kurtz really sick? Why do the natives adore him? Why does the company want him back? Has Kurtz gotten too big for his britches? The descriptive writing was so good; I felt like I was sweltering on the Congo River in darkest Africa during the entire story. Somehow I missed the crux of Conrad’s novella. Was he chastising Belgium for their imperialistic attitude towards Africa? Or their treatment of the natives? Was he trying to say that (so-called) civilized society should have the right to rule barbarians, or just the opposite? The United States had that attitude in the late 1800s and early 1900s (the Manifest Destiny). Remember Horace Greeley’s famous phrase, “Go west, young man”...and we did, all the way to Japan and China. I know that Joseph Conrad had a reason for writing this novella...I just don’t know what it was. Because of these reasons, I'll give it a weak five star rating (Haha), and I do recommend reading this 117 year old novella.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: Conrad’s main character, Charlie Marlow, appears in four of his novels. Besides this novella, Marlow appears in Youth (1898), Lord Jim (1900) and Chance (1914).

In the “Inspired by’ section of Conrad’s novella, we find that, “The adaptation of Heart of Darkness that makes Conrad’s novella particularly relevant to the modern era is Francis Ford Coppola’s film, Apocalypse Now (1979). Apocalypse Now strips away surface and grapples with humanity’s primordial nature, aptly capturing the spirit of Conrad. The film opens with the jungle tree line ablaze with napalm fire and the hypnotic drone of helicopter blades dissolving into a whirring ceiling fan in a hotel room. Captain Benjamin Willard (Sheen) is assigned to track down Colonel Walter Kurtz, a decorated war hero gone missing whom the military has accused of murder. Willard is ordered to terminate Kurtz with extreme prejudice.”

Did Charlie Marlow get orders to terminate Kurtz in Heart of Darkness? Read the novella and you will find out...My Little Chickadee (W.C. Fields, 1940).     

they SERVE BAGELS in HEAVEN

The author sent me a copy of her novel/book to review:

This is the third novel that I’ve read in the last three years exploring the possibility of heaven. Having read Mitch Albom’s highly entertaining novel The First Phone Call from Heaven (see my review of 1/13/2014) and Neurosurgeon Eben Alexander’s near death experience in Proof of Heaven (see my review of 8/10/2013), I was eager to read what Irene Weinberg had to say in her novel. The novel seems to be on the whimsical side only because it involves several mediums, who were either contacted by Irene’s husband, Saul, or had Saul talk through their vocal cords. Logic tells me that the medium business would be the world’s number one occupation if any recently departed loved one could contact anyone through a medium (or necromancer?). Why did Saul get the opportunity to contact his wife after death and not someone like the great Harry Houdini (who vowed to come back from death) Wouldn’t Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry have a course on mediumology? (just kidding, maybe they do)

Listen, I’m not accusing Irene of anything. I’m somewhat suggesting (based on their lifelong love affair) that she would be likely influenced into believing she is talking to her husband. The other thing that baffles me (a tad) is that Saul implies that even bad people are in heaven. The only penalty is that they cannot be reincarnated until all the people they have harmed are dead, including their descendants (this could take a long time). Saul also tells Irene through a family therapist/medium that they have had many past lives together (some not as husband and wife). That reminds me of the 1970 Barbra Streisand movie On a Clear Day You Can See Forever. Although the story is entertaining, I’m not buying into it as a credible occurrence. There is no mention of Hell in this book by Saul. All he says on this subject is what he said about a delayed reincarnation. And would The Creator and a group of angels sit down with you in Heaven and strategize your next life on earth? Highly doubtful.

Although the story starts out with Saul falling asleep (or did he have a stroke/heart attack?) at the wheel of his car (12/21/1997) with his wife, Irene, in the passenger seat, the meat of the story for me was the supposed previous reincarnated lives they had relayed by Saul to Irene through a medium. Some of them were interesting...is Irene starting to become a storyteller? Okay, the stories were told to her by Saul, but Irene penned them, so I must give her some credit (don’t think for a minute that I believed they came from heaven, but they were entertaining). I particularly liked the story of Yakov and Devorah, which was very sad. Also absorbing was the time Irene was reincarnated alone as a Jewish violinist in Poland during the start of the holocaust. So what do I think? I think that Irene heard what she wanted to hear or believe in. Again, I’m not saying that Irene is a false witness, but I think that Irene, who was madly in love with Saul, can easily be duped by mediums. I do recommend reading this book/novel...your option at to whether you think it’s a book or novel.

RATING: 3 out of 5 stars

Comment: Everybody hopes that there is an afterlife (if you haven’t been wicked), but Saul’s story doesn’t offer much punishment to sinners. Is there a Hell? If not, I coulda been bad! Also strange is that Saul doesn’t tell Irene what religion God harbors. He is only known as The Source or The Creator. No mention of Jesus Christ. Also if I remember correctly, The Bible rejects reincarnation. There are a lot of unanswered questions which make books like this one at best...intriguing.  

AYAHUASCA

The author sent me a copy of his novel to read and review:

After reading Jonathan Huls previous novel, The Nth Day (see my review of 2/10/2016), I didn’t think he could write anything darker than that. Well, I’m wrong, because his second novel is pitch-black! Next stop...Hell. If you are a bit squeamish, don’t read this novel. Nothing pleasant happens to any of the characters in this grisly novel. Ayahuasca is a mind altering drug used by the Peruvian natives along the Amazon River for many purposes. In a way, the drug plays both a small part and big part in this novel. When the novel begins, the reader is unaware of what the two recent college graduates are up to. They tell their parents (who are unconcerned alcoholic party goers) that they are going to Mexico to celebrate graduating college. That seems normal enough, but is that the real reason for the trip? And why do they keep talking about G-88? What does that mean? Do they have an evil pretentious plan or is this trip a normal graduating blow-out? Okay, enough questions, let me tell you a little bit of the story without revealing the explosive conclusion (pages 142-244).
  
Paxton and Damien are life long friends. Paxton just got his private pilot’s license, and they are going to fly to Mexico (the author doesn’t tell the reader how the boys acquired the Cessna Turbo Skylane). The trip will take two months and culminate in Iquitos, Peru. We learn that the boys have always been evil...Damien the most malicious. Paxton has been recording all their vicious adventures in his personal journal since childhood (were they evil as kids?...yep). While in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, they have wild drunken sexual escapades. They hear about a secret nightclub that has sexual acts on stage including a performance that uses a donkey. They find the club, but things go sour and they have to shoot their way out of the club. They fly out of Mexico into Peru immediately. Paxton falls in love with a local girl named Cecita. After a night of binge drinking, Paxton, Damien, Cecita and her girlfriend go into a remote jungle area where the boys are introduced to the drug Ayahuasca by a local shaman. The drug is supposed to purify their spirits but instead makes them hallucinate and vomit. Such a pleasant novel.

I’m reluctant to tell you anything more about the story. Instead, I was going to define what G-88 means, but then I would have to issue a “spoiler alert” which I don’t want to do. The crux of the novel is G-88 and what it brings to the table. Is this the darkest novel I’ve ever read? Well, I read Cormac McCarthy’s Outer Dark (see my review of 3/01/2013), which I considered to be the blackest novel that I ever read. But I have to admit that Jonathan Huls has surpassed the great Cormac McCarthy with this tragic and somber novel. Do you see why this novel is so grim? What happens in Peru is mind-boggling. Those last 103 pages are explosive. I only reviewed the first 118 pages to whet your whistle. I recommend this novel to readers that aren’t faint at heart. Since I thought Jonathan Huls first novel was very savvy and structured better than this novel, I must rate Ayahuasca a notch below The Nth Day.

RATING: 4 out of 5 stars

Comment: For some reason this novel reminded me of the 1994 Oliver Stone/ Quentin Tarantino movie Natural Born Killers starring Woody Harrelson and Juliette Lewis. It was the same theme...senseless mass murder. A 52 person killing spree in New Mexico, Arizona, and Nevada, then briefly imprisoned before escaping and continuing with more murders. School is still out with me on these types of novels and movies. Are they written to bring light to the serial killer phenomenon or strictly for the entertainment value? I prefer books on this subject that are nonfiction, such as the social miscreant killers in Truman Capote’s In Cold Blood, or Vincent Bugliosi’s epic book, Helter Skelter: The True Story of The Manson Murders.        

PUDD'NHEAD WILSON and THOSE EXTRAORDINARY TWINS

This 1894 novel by Mark Twain was written during his dark period. His mom had recently died and his publishing company had just failed, leaving the great author bankrupt. Is the novel dark? Yes, but also humorous with many surprises and extra features. The novel transpires before the Civil War in the small town of Dawson’s Landing on the Mississippi River...of course. Now if you have read Twain before, you know he uses the vernacular of the times, so don’t be shocked by the vocabulary used by the negro slaves; such as, “Oh, de good Lord God have mercy on po’ sinful me- I’s sole down de river!” Also don’t be upset with the use of the “n” word...it’s Twain’s modus operandi (I will not use it in my review). Twain states that as he was writing this novel,”I had a sufficiently hard time with that tale, because it changed itself from a farce to a tragedy...But what was a great deal worse was, that it was not one story, but two stories tangled together; and they obstructed and interrupted each other at every turn and created no end of confusion and annoyance.” Somehow, Twain (he says he used-a kind of literary Caesarean operation) makes the two stories work by rewriting the twins story after the first story ends. The twins had a lesser role in the first story, but they became the main focus in the second story. Not only that, but they morphed from two dashing Counts (Angelo and Luigi) from Italy into a two headed, four armed, two legged freak. What? I told you that this was Twain’s dark period. Actually, Twain’s first novel written with a deep pessimism was his novel, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court (1889) (see my review of 11/08/2012).

“On the 1st of February, 1830, two boy babes were born in Percy Driscoll’s house: one to him, the other to one of his slave girls, Roxana (Roxy) by name.” Now Roxana was a pretty twenty year old slave who was almost white (she was only one/sixteenth black). She took care of Tom Driscoll and her own baby, Chambers, after Mrs. Driscoll suddenly died within a week of the children’s birth. “In that same month of February Dawson’s Landing gained a new citizen. This was Mr. David Wilson, a young fellow of Scotch parentage...he was twenty-five years old, college-bred, and had finished a post-college course in an Eastern law school a couple of years before.” He certainly would have launched a successful career in law, if he didn’t make a fatal remark on his first day in town. As David Wilson talked to a group of citizens, a dog began to yelp in the background. Wilson said, “I wish I owned half of that dog.” “Why?” someone said. “Because I would kill my half.” “They fell away from him as from something uncanny, and went into privacy to discuss him.” One said, “pears to be a fool.” “pears?” said another. “Is, I reckon you better say.” “Said he wished he owned half of the dog, the idiot", said a third. Just that fast Mr. Wilson became Pudd’nhead Wilson with nobody in Dawson’s Landing willing to let him represent them in a court of law. Wow, what a tough town. He hung up his law shingle but only got minor tangled account-book jobs. So he started taking Fingerprints from the town’s populace as a hobby. Two of the prints he took was from the babies Roxy was in charge of at five months old. By the way, so far I’ve only covered the first nine pages...a lot happens in this crazy novel.

Meanwhile one of Percy Driscoll’s slaves is stealing. Percy calls his slaves into his home. He tells them that if nobody admits the theft...somebody is going down the river (which means a much tougher life), but three admit the theft. Percy sells them, but not to the mean people down the river. Roxy now feels threatened. Can her baby be sent down the river? She decides to switch the babies. Chambers is now Tom Driscoll and Tom Driscoll is now Chambers. Percy suddenly dies (but not before he sets Roxy free) and the babies and Roxy are taken in by Percy’s brother, Judge Driscoll and his widowed sister, Mrs. Pratt. Roxy bumps into Pudd’nhead, and he takes fresh fingerprints from the babies. He doesn’t notice the switch (will he later?). Roxy now free, decides to become a chambermaid on a steamboat. She leaves the children in the care of Judge Driscoll and his sister. Tom (really Roxy’s black son) is now growing up to be a mean man with a big gambling habit, while the real Tom is an uneducated slave and lackey for Tom Driscoll. In the meantime down the street, the widow Cooper (Aunt Patsy) advertises that she has a room for rent. She gets an offer of double rent by twins from Italy. The whole town is anxious to meet the dashing counts. They arrive to the exuberant approval of the town. They become the toast of the town. Tom Driscoll insults the twins and gets a swift kick in the butt from Luigi, which starts a course of events that will explode throughout the rest of the novel. So much happens after the kick that the reader needs to take notes to remember the many zigzags that occur afterwards.

This is a somewhat unknown novel of Mark Twain’s (one of my favorite writers), but in my opinion his most brilliant work. In only 201 pages, he was able to spin a tale of hope, despair, and tragedy...yet be humorous at the same time. I highly recommend reading this old classic novel.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: In Mark Twain’s Final Remarks, he tells the reader how complicated this tale was to write:

“As you see, it was an extravagant sort of tale, and had no purpose but to exhibit that monstrous ‘freak’ in all sorts of grotesque lights. But when Roxy wandered into the tale she had to be furnished with something to do; so she changed the children in the cradle; this necessitated the invention of a reason for it; this, in turn, resulted in making the children prominent personages-nothing could prevent it, of course. Their career began to take a tragic aspect, and some one had to be brought in to help work the machinery; so Pudd’nhead Wilson was introduced and taken on trial. By this time the whole show was being run by the new people and in their interest, and the original show was become sidetracked and forgotten; the twin-monster, and the heroine, and the lads, and the old ladies had dwindled to inconsequentialities and were merely in the way. Their story was one story, the new people’s story was another story, and there was no connection between them, no interdependence, no kinship. It is not practicable or rational to try to tell two stories at the same time; so I dug out the farce and left the tragedy.”

“The reader already knew how the expert works; he knows now how the other kind do it.”

By the way, Twain gave us a free lesson on how to use a semicolon in the above final remarks.  

The Demon Conspiracy

The author sent me a copy of his novel to read and review:

I’m not going to say this story was banal, but the concept of demons living underground plotting to overthrow the humans living on the surface is clearly not new. Furthermore, the story was not scary as advertised on the novel’s back cover. If you want to read something scary, read Stephen King’s 1986 novel It. The terror the reader feels from the creature who appeared in the form of a clown (coulrophobia) was bona fide. I realize R. L.Gemmill’s story is a YA novel that might scare a young age group (how young is the writer’s target age?), but I expected more after reading all the previous glowing reviews. The prose was simplistic (I’m assuming it was written that way on purpose for YA reading). The story was generally okay but seemed rushed in order to create a euphoria that failed. And I must mention that I quickly tired of the line, “I have a lot of work to do and I must work hard and fast.” I can see that the author has a storytelling ability, but in my opinion, it’s still in the growing stage. Basically, I guess (that) I’m used to reading YA novels that are good to go for adults such as Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games or Markus Zusak’s The Book Thief. Anyway, I’m saying that Mr. Gemmill’s novel is worth reading with the caveat that it’s not the cat’s meow for adults. Maybe I read too many classics. So, what’s the story about?

We meet the heroes of the story during a tragic event...a car crash that kills their parents. At the time of the accident, Kelly (the novel’s narrator) was six years old and had the ability to read minds. Her brothers are also gifted. Jon, who is ten years old, is a expert in martial arts using swords and knives. The baby of the family is Travis, who was three years old at the time of the accident. Even at a young age, he had the capacity to feel other people’s emotions. Fast forward seven years and we find the kids finally together in the loving foster home of Chris and Angie McCormick. Chris (a teacher) and the children sign up with Jon’s English teacher, Mr. Anton Edwards, for a Saturday caving trip to Pandora’s Cave. In advance of the group arriving at Crystal Creek Park, Ranger Ned Taylor sees something very strange at the cave’s entrance...a man dressed in a blue suit with an object that looks like a fire hydrant. As the ranger approached the cave, Ned says to the man in a suit, “Can I help you, Sir?” “He smiled back at Ned, as if amused.” Suddenly, the man and his device disappeared. Ned went to the dog pen and let the fiercely barking dog, Ripper, loose. The dog ran straight to the cave entrance followed by Ned. “As they reached the entrance, a host of colorful glowing eyes appeared within the cave’s pitch darkness. Ripper skidded to a halt.” What’s going on? What’s behind all those hateful multi-colored eyes?

The ranger was relieved by Head Ranger Melinda Laarz before the McCormick’s arrived at the park. Apparently, Ned didn’t tell Melinda what he saw in the cave because Ranger Melinda didn’t warn the McCormicks or the teachers (Dr. Mark Parrish and cave expert Anton Edwards). Was this an error by the author? Or did Ned really not tell Melinda what he saw? (It seems highly unlikely). Anyway, the group enters the cave. Incidentally, I’ve only reviewed the first 31 pages so far. I think I’m making the story more exciting than it was! The group work their way down to an area known as the Cathedral Room. Then, the unforeseen happens...the ground began to shake. EARTHQUAKE. (I can’t believe that I’m making R.L.Gemmill’s novel so intoxicating.) The ledge that the children and Chris were standing on drops about 50 feet. Chris is knocked out and has a broken leg. The kids are shaken but not seriously hurt. The two teachers must have been standing somewhere else because they are unaccounted for. Travis sets the still unconscious Chris’s leg with the metal frame of a backpack. Jon looks down the ledge that they are now on and can’t believe what he sees...a 20 foot demon on a stage addressing thousands of creatures! Okay, you got a taste of the first 51 pages of Mr. Gemmill’s novel. Now you will have to buy your own copy to see what happens in the next 309 pages.

RATING: 3 out of 5 stars

Comment: As I mentioned in the first paragraph, the scariest novel I ever read was Stephen King’s It. It’s amazing how many people have a fear of a clown (coulrophobia). Do you remember the Seinfeld show called The Opera (1992) when a clown took center stage. Wikipedia says:

“Crazy" Joe Davola leaves Jerry a message saying he will put the "kibosh" on him. Kramer has tickets for the opera, Pagliacci and everyone is going, including Elaine and her boyfriend, Joey. Elaine drops in on Joe's apartment where she discovers that he has a wall of pictures of her that he took with his telephoto lens. After repeatedly calling her "Nedda" and insinuating she is cheating on him, he tries to trap her in the apartment, so she maces him with cherry Binaca and ends their relationship.

Jerry, Kramer, Elaine, and George go to the opera, where Elaine tells the others that Joey isn't coming, and Susan has to pick up a friend at the airport and can't come either, they have two extra tickets. George and Kramer attempt to scalp the tickets, each trying to get a better deal than the other, because George tries to sell the tickets for too little, and won't listen to Kramer.

As Jerry and Elaine wait for their friends to return, they are asked by a street performer impersonating Canio for a tip. Jerry had flipped a coin earlier, and it was taken by another spectator, so he didn't have any money for the clown, which annoyed him.

Meanwhile, "Crazy" Joe is getting ready for the opera by working out and sobbing as Canio's aria plays. He then puts on the white makeup for Canio's character, Pagliaccio. Later, Joe is seen, now in full Pagliaccio costume, walking through a park on his way to the opera house. He is antagonized by a group of hoodlums, but he uses martial arts to knock them all out.

Kramer is approached by a clown (not knowing it's "Crazy" Joe Davola) who wants to buy the leftover ticket to Pagliacci. Kramer then claims that the clown looks "familiar", to which Davola asks him if he ever went to the circus and if he liked it; Kramer answers that he had gone when he was little and that he was scared of the clowns. Davola then asks Kramer if he's still scared of clowns (while giving a menacing smile), to which Kramer uneasily answers, "Yeah."

Jerry and Elaine are still standing outside, and they get to talking about "their nutjobs" and discover that each of their Joes is the same person. They freak out, because Joe is probably now out to get both of them. Soon, the clown returns, and when Jerry tells him that he doesn't have any money, the clown responds, "I don't want any money." As they both stand there, Elaine thinks she smells cherries. The clown says, "It's Binaca." Just then, the real Canio starts to sing. Jerry and Elaine both scream (realizing it's "Crazy" Joe) and run away.

George has finally agreed to sell the ticket to someone as Susan runs up and says she can join him because her friend's plane was diverted to Philadelphia. George gives her ticket to her, and deftly gives the man his own; since he will not attend the show, he must then invent an explanation that will please Susan.

Kramer shows up with the tickets, and he, Elaine and Jerry take their seats. They are joined by Susan and Harry Fong, the man to whom George sold his ticket. They ask where George is; Harry says that he got George's ticket and Susan also tells them that he was "uncomfortable." Jerry and Elaine ask Kramer to whom he gave the last ticket. Just as the curtain comes up, Kramer answers, "Some nut in a clown suit." Jerry and Elaine panic as the audience applauds and the episode closes."

THE WOMAN IN CABIN TEN

Not in a hundred years would I have figured out who the victim was; or for that matter, who the murderer was in this whodunit, yet when it was revealed, it seemed to be an apropos resolve. Of course this novel by Ruth Ware reminded me somewhat of Paula Hawkins’ The Girl on the Train (see my review of 8/16/2015). Close, but no cigar. One thing that does stand out in Ware’s novel is the prose. She is someone who not only writes with a kinda descriptive style but also knows how to write with gripping proficiency. It’s one of those novels that perks your interest from the get-go to the very last word (wire to wire). This is the British author’s second New York Times bestseller, the first being her maiden 2015 thriller, In a Dark, Dark Wood. She’s two for two so far. Can she be Great Britain’s next Agatha Christie? Ruth Ware is a hot mystery writer but doesn’t have a Hercule Poirot, so once again, close, but no cigar. Okay, let’s review a little of the story. Just a little.

  

As the story opens, our principal character, Lo (Laura) Blacklock is being burglarized in her apartment while sleeping off an inebriated evening. She wakes up in time to find a burglar outside her bedroom door, who slams the door in her face (oouch), removes the spindle from the door knob and ransacks the apartment. When he leaves, she manages to unlock her bedroom door. She is super upset but doesn’t have a lot of time to pine over it (thank God for her prescribed  antidepressants). She is consoled by her boyfriend Judah (on his way to Moscow on business) and somewhat (for some reason I love that word) by the police. Lo works for a travel magazine, Velocity. Her boss, Rowan, being pregnant, can’t make the press voyage on the brand new ten cabin luxury cruiser the Aurora from London to the Norwegian Fjords. She assigns Lo to take the trip and write a good article on the voyage and it’s owners, the super rich Lord Richard Bullmer and his wife Anne.

Once on the small but lavish cruiser (one of the chandeliers has over two thousand Swarovski crystals), she is assigned cabin nine and is told to be in the Lindgren Lounge for cocktails and a facilities presentation at 7:00 pm. For the sake of setting the scene at the reception, let me tell you who was in attendance: Cole Lederer (a renowned photographer), Tina West (editor of the Vernean Times), Alexander Belhomme (a rotund foodie writer), Archer Fenlan (a extreme travel writer), Ben Howard (a ex-writer at Velocity), Lars Jenssen and his wife, Chloe (he of a Swiss investment group), Owen White (a UK investor) and of course, Richard and Anne Bullmer and their senior staff. Naturally, Lo Blacklock was also in attendance. That’s people enough for nine of the ten cabins. Why was cabin ten empty? Or was it? Was somebody going to be murdered tonight? Could be. Okay, the scene is set, now you will have to get your own copy of this stirring sophomore novel by Ruth Ware to find out what happens next.

I loved this novel. I was especially impressed with the prose and the flow of the story. If there were some hiccups in this novel, they went over my head. Okay if I stretch my imagination, I can come up with a few minor complaints near the end of the novel, but I’m going to keep them to myself. Do I recommend this novel? Does Grizzly Adams have a beard?

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: Sometimes I’m amazed at what other reviewers are thinking. When I went to Amazon for the Customer Review score, I was surprised. Even though Ware’s novel is an unbridled hit, it’s only garnered an average score of 3.8 stars on 363 customer reviews. Why? Because 20% of the reviews are for one or two stars. The main reason why? The bad review is usually from a reader who has very limited experience reviewing books. They don’t even know what they are looking for. In their mind, it’s either a ‘good read’ or a ‘bad read’.

Here are some of their comments: boring, weak weak weak, epic fail, waste of time, don’t bother, awful, drivel, hated it, could not finish and my favorite...this book is so bad it should be free. Ha, ha. I guess it’s a case of Different strokes for different folks.    

MISSION: SRX Before Space Recon

The author sent me an autographed copy of his short story to review:

Matthew D. White’s short story preludes his three volume space opera Mission: SRX series. If this story is a glimpse of what’s to happen in Confessions of the First War, Ephemeral Solace, and Deep Unknown...then this officer in the U.S. Air Force has a hit on his hands. Clearly the esoteric input was derived from the officer’s knowledge of modern aircraft and rockets. Of course there are many first contact novels out there; such as, H.G. Wells’ The War of the Worlds (1898), Arthur C. Clarke’s 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) and Rendezvous with Rama (1973)...my personal favorite. I’m not comparing White’s 53 page short story with the above space opera classics, but I am saying that I liked what I read and can only conclude that the author’s ensuing three novels must be a somewhat fascinating sci-fi journey (I have not read the author’s above mentioned novels). So let me tell you a little about this short story that foreshadows the main body of work by ten years.

The space cargo ship Defiance is hauling supplies between Earth and the Sol Bravo system (the first system found with intelligent life) when its navigation system malfunctions. Or is it interference from the previously peaceful Aquillian race? They are lost in space. Lt. Commander Warren Hughes of the USC (United Space Corps) cargo ship is suspicious that someone or something is interfering with his ship. Why? What cargo is he hauling? Suddenly the drifting cargo ship is contacted by the Aquillians. Lt. Commander Hughes tells them, “We have encountered significant interference to our navigation systems and are unable to continue to our destination.” The Aquillian ship responds with, “We have dispatched three transports along with our primary maintenance crew to lend assistance to your ship.” Assistance, really?

Meanwhile on a asteroid, a USC recovery team, led by Lieutenant Kael, is alerted by his Sergeant that the cargo ship Defiance is two hours late to its destination and is probably a little off course. Lt. Kael says, “So they’re a little off course. That’s not unheard of.” The soldier replies, “USC-Instruction states that a recovery team be alerted if an arrival is more than two hours late.” The team takes off in search of the missing cargo ship. What happens next will set the tone for the three eventuating novels. I thought the story was exciting but feel that Mr. White could do better with his prose...it was a bit too simple (my only knock, but it’s a big deal with me). Based on this prequel, I’ll give the ‘green light’ to the reading of the rest of the series.

RATING: 4 out of 5 stars

Comment: That’s about as long as I can write a review based on a 52 page short story without giving away the ending. I think short stories are a lost art, and if I remember correctly, it’s only my second short story review. The first being John Chu’s twenty two page, The Water That Falls on You from Nowhere (see my review of 8/21/2014). Actually there are more...I’m just too lazy to look them up.

I’m sure everybody has their favorite short stories, but the following three are among the most famous:

The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry (1905)

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving (1820)

The Purloined Letter by Edgar Allan Poe (1844)

How would you like to have a round table talk with those writers?   

Dream Faces

The author sent me an autographed copy of his novel to be reviewed:

I’m sorry, I just couldn’t buy into this story. Why this story had to be told with all the characters having either a guardian angel (if you are a good person) or a demon (if you are a bad person) is beyond me. Once the reader gets the idea of the paranormal side of the characters...the author (Steve Shanks) should have backed off. It became very tiresome...enough is enough. Later the reader learns that if the boss (God?) determines real help is needed for someone, it’s okay for the supernatural to be seen and converse with his charge (although kidnapped, Grace, had no such help). What? The prose was way too rudimentary for my liking. This is the author’s first novel and I’m sure his prose and craftsmanship will improve. In the meantime, Mr. Shanks should work on his plot development and avoid dubious situations, such as the hiring of a moron (Rollo) by his boss (Mr. Petrov) to carry out crucial duties. The author needs to understand that his story must make sense. Okay, I’ll tell you a little bit of the story.

Mark Stephens is a painter (artist) who basically paints what he dreams. He has been painting three young girls over and over again. They turn out to be real missing females: Grace, Jordan and Ashley, all around thirteen years of age. He doesn’t know that the girls he is painting are real. Of course his seven foot guardian angel (‘D’) is always with him. I’m only mentioning this one time because every character that I unveil in this review has either a guardian angel or a demon with them at all times (so for repetitive reasons, I will not disclose it again). Mark sends out a marketing packet displaying his paintings. A Mr. Vlad Alexandrov of a NYC gallery calls and wants to meet Mark and see his paintings. Mark takes five finished paintings to NYC and Vlad loves them. He goes home (Michigan) and later finds out that the five paintings he left with Vlad are sold and a show is being set up for Mark in Vlad’s Ann Arbor, Michigan gallery.

Meanwhile, we find out that troubled young girls are being tricked by a loser named Jess (portraying herself to be a college student) to go out with her for a fun time. Instead they are drugged and brought to abandoned house by Jess’s weak-minded boyfriend, Nate. Then a gorilla look-alike Rollo cuffs them to a pipe in the basement. Rollo works in a Russian restaurant as the owner’s hired goon. Apparently, the owner, Mr. Petrov, plans to sell these girls to pimps. Really? If so, why starve the stupefied unwashed girls and let Rollo abuse them. This is where the story makes no sense at all. Eventually obnoxious detectives, Watts and Stein, appear to further muddle the story. There isn’t a single character that I felt any empathy for, even Jess’s toddler, Noah, who always seemed to be asleep. Did I care about Mark, who was going to get into a lot of trouble? Let me think about it... did I care? Nope.

I don’t like to be critical about an author’s baby (his/her novel), but there was nothing in this novel to hang my hat on. It was a rocky effort at best, sorry to say. But Steve does have a lot on his plate. He is an accomplished painter and his paintings are being sold in galleries and through his website. Maybe he will turn things around and write a credible second novel...just stay away from guardian ‘angels and demons.’ Wait a minute, didn’t Dan Brown already write that novel?

RATING: 2 out of 5 stars

Comment: Have you ever wondered who wrote the worst books of all time? (Steve Shanks’ novel is not one of them) Well, believe it or not, there are many different list of turkey books. The following three books make every list I’ve seen:

Scientology: The fundamentals of thought by L. Ron Hubbard (1998). His guide to greater happiness.

I want to tell you: My response to your letters, your messages, your questions by O.J.Simpson
(1995). Do you really want to read what this liar has to say?

Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler (1925). Believed to be the Nazi bible.

I’m sure you have your own favorite book that you use to count sheep. Ha,ha!

TREASURE ISLAND

“Shiver Me Timbers”, this novel was a treasure! Sorry for the pun, but I couldn’t help myself...I enjoyed myself immensely reading this 1883 adventure novel originally serialized in a children’s magazine, Young Folks (1881/1882). As dark as this novel is in some chapters, it’s hard to believe that children were allowed to read it. Oh well, the laws were much different in Great Britain during the 1800s. “Fifteen men on the dead man’s chest-Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!” That’s the drinking song of the bloodthirsty buccaneers of the times. Who are these fictitious pirates? They are some of the most well known characters in all of literature, such as, Billy Bones, Captain Flint (who has appeared in many novels and movies) and of course, the infamous, Long John Silver (he with the parrot on his shoulder). Wow what a lineup and I didn’t even mention their cutthroat crew. On the good guy side, I only need to mention the name of young Jim Hawkins, who along with Doctor Livesey narrate this story. Even though Robert Louis Stevenson died at the early age of 44 from consumption (now called tuberculosis) he was still able to write and publish such classics as The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and Kidnapped. Now I’m going to tell you a little bit of the story up until the time they sail from from Bristol, England to Treasure Island in the Caribbean. Understand that I’m leaving out the juicy part, so don’t even think (for a moment) that I’m giving away the story. If you think I’m going to divulge too much...then STOP here, wuss! (just kidding). The following is my review of the first 53 pages. 

The novel is narrated by Jim Hawkins (in his early teens) except for a couple of chapters, which are narrated by Dr. Livesey. Jim works for his very ill father at the family owned Admiral Benbow Inn. One day a disagreeable seafaring man who calls himself Captain arrives at the inn. The Captain gives the innkeeper (Jim’s father) three or four gold pieces and announces, “You can tell me when I work through that...I’m a plain man; rum and bacon and eggs is what I want, and that head up there to watch the ships off.” He has a man with him who barrows a sea chest into the Captain’s room. During the day he hangs around the cove or the cliffs with his telescope (who is he looking for and what is his real name?). He stayed for months. Jim’s father was afraid to ask for more money. The Captain was drunk on rum every night and told the most dreadful stories to whomever was in the inn. Everybody was afraid of him and the inn’s customers couldn’t go home until he grew sleepy and went to bed. On a later day, Dr. Livesey shows up at the inn to check on the innkeeper’s health. After the doctor sees the innkeeper, he has words with the drunk Captain. Dr. Livesey doesn’t back down and says to the drunk seafaring man, “And now, sir, since I now know there’s such a fellow in my district, you may count I’ll have an eye upon you day and night. I’m not a doctor only; I’m a magistrate; and if I catch a breath of complaint against you, if it’s only for a piece of incivility like tonight’s, I’ll take effectual means to have you hunted down routed out of this. Let that suffice.” Winter comes and the Captain is still there. Jim’s dad is sicker.

One day while the Captain is out with his telescope, a sailor comes to the inn and asks Jim for his mate, Bill. Jim says, “Captain?” The sailor says, “the same.” The Captain comes back and sees the fellow he knows as Black Dog. They argue and draw cutlasses. Black dog is hurt and runs away. The Captain comes back in and asks for rum, but he reels and falls down. Just then the doctor enters the inn. The doctor realizes that the Captain just had a stroke. The doctor rips off the Captain’s sleeve and sees many tattoos, one saying that the Captain is really Billy Bones (He, a mate of Long John Silver and Captain Flint). The doctor draws blood (in the late 1700s, they were still bleeding patients as a treatment) and puts Billy to bed. Billy has the shakes, Jim gets him a glass of rum. Jim wants to know why the sailor was after him. Billy Bones says that they want his sea chest that was given to him when the notorious Captain Flint died. He tells Jim that he is the only one who knows where the place is. What place? During the night, Jim’s dad dies. On page 28 (yea, that’s all I’ve reviewed so far), Jim says, “I saw someone drawing slowly near along the road. He was plainly blind, for he tapped before him a stick and wore a great green shade over his eyes and nose.” The blind man says to Jim, “Will you give me your hand, my kind young friend, and lead me in.” Once in, the blind man turns nasty and has a vice grip on Jim’s arm and asks for the Captain. He puts something in the Captain’s palm and quickly leaves the inn. What did he give him? The Captain looks into his palm and says, “Ten o’clock! Six hours. We’ll do them yet.” As the Captain gets out of bed, he has a second stroke and drops dead.

Jim and his mom find a key around Billy Bones neck and take it off. They open the sea chest. Jim grabs an oilskin packet and a bag of coins and then runs out the back of the inn to get help as they hear the blind man and seven or eight pirate friends trying to break into the locked inn. The pirates get in and realize that Jim Hawkins took the packet. They hear horses coming, they run, but the blind man (who is the pirate known as Pew) runs in front of a horse and is killed. The horsemen were revenue officers coming to aide the inn. They take Jim to the doctor’s house, but he is not home...he is at Squire Trelawney’s house. Jim gets there and shows them the oilskin packet. They open it. It’s a map of Treasure Island showing where Captain Flint buried a vast treasure. They decide to go for it! On page 47 (I told you I was only going to give you a taste of the story), “Livesey,” said the squire, “you will give up this wretched practice at once. Tomorrow I start for Bristol. In three weeks’ time-three weeks!-two weeks-ten days- we’ll have the best ship, sir, and the choicest crew in England. Hawkins shall come as cabin-boy. You’ll make a famous cabin-boy, Hawkins. You, Livesey, are the ship’s doctor; I am admiral.” The doctor wanted to go with him because he knew the squire couldn't hold his tongue and the pirates also knew about the map, but the squire belayed that thought, by saying, “Livesey,” returned the squire, “you are always in the right of it. I’ll be silent as the grave.” Ha,ha, sure you will Mr. Trelawney (Was Stevenson using tree and lawn in the squire’s name to accentuate country squire? or country ignoramus?)

So Trelawney gets to Bristol and purchases a seaworthy ship named, The Hispaniola. Of course Mr. loose lips (they sink ships, don’t they?) lets the whole town know that he is going for treasure and needs a good crew (duh). Trelawney writes a letter to Livesay and Hawkins to tell them to get to Bristol immediately; he bought a ship and hired a crew. In his letter he says, “I wished a round score of men...till the most remarkable stroke of fortune brought me the very man I required. I was standing on the dock, when, by the merest accident, I fell in talk with him. I found he was an old sailor, kept a public house, knew all the seafaring men in Bristol, had lost his health ashore, and wanted a good berth as cook to get to sea again. He had hobbled down there that morning, he said, to get a smell of the salt. I was monstrously touched-so would you have been-and, out of pure pity, I engaged him on the spot to be ship’s cook. Long John Silver, he is called, and has lost a leg; but that I regarded as a recommendation, since he lost it in his country’s service (sure he did,ha-ha), under the immortal Hawke (a famous British Admiral)...between Silver and myself we got together in a few days a company of the toughest old salts imaginable-not pretty to look at, but fellows, by their faces, of the most indomitable spirit.” Can anybody be dumber? He just hired Captain Flint’s former dangerous quartermaster, Long John Silver and his ghastly crew. Okay, that’s it, I reviewed the first 53 pages. What happens after they leave Bristol and sail for Treasure Island is up to you to find out. This was a first rate novel that I highly recommend.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: If you want to read a fabulous historical novel about Robert Louis Stevenson and his romance with Fanny Van de Grift Osbourne read Nancy Horan’s Under the Wide and Starry Sky (see my review of 3/15/2014). It’s well worth the reading.

During Stevenson’s short life time, not only did he write the three classics that I mentioned in the review, but other writers also penned classic works during the years between 1850 (Stevenson is born) and 1894 (Stevenson dies). What were they? Okay, here is the ‘hall of fame’ list:

1859- Charles Darwin publishes, On the Origin of Species.

1859- Charles Dickens publishes, A Tale of Two Cities.

1865- Lewis Carroll publishes, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.
1872- Lewis Carroll publishes, Through the Looking Glass.
1872- George Eliot publishes, Middlemarch.
1874- Thomas Hardy publishes, Far From the Madding Crowd. (see my review of 1/26/2015)
1891- Oscar Wilde publishes, The Picture of Dorian Gray (see my review of 8/8/2015)

How’s that for a magnificent seven (not the movie...the list of the above books).

This is the Long John Silver that I remember from the Disney movie: