THERE is no OTHERWISE

The author sent me a copy of this short story to review:

Not for nothing, this pleasing short story reminded me of Jay and the Americans 1964 song Come a Little Bit Closer. All the elements are there, though the ending is somewhat different. My question to author Ardin Lalui is why did you stop the story at 44 pages? I was really getting into the content when it ended. It’s too bad because it seemed events were about to ignite. If you are not ready to write a full novel, try a novella like Stephen King’s The Mist . Not every author can write a 54 page masterpiece like Washington Irving’s The Legend of Sleepy Hollow or his 44 page classic Rip Van Winkle . Your story displays pending talent, and I look forward to your first novel. I also found the lack of quotation marks refreshing, while substituting them with dash marks somewhat original.

The story centers around three young men driving a pickup through Texas to the small town of Las Cruces, New Mexico. They all work at the Tobin Ranch as cowhands, but are treated like sons by the Tobins. They are depressed about Mrs.Tobin’s mortal illness and Mr. Tobin’s subsequent hard drinking and are looking for a good time to lift their spirits. In town, the men enter a drab bar named La Luna. On page sixteen, JP, the youngest of the three friends, looks around and says to himself, “...it was about the kind of place where nothing good would ever happen to them...” This is where I stop. You will have to read this winsome short story for yourself to find out what happens next.

Mr. Lalui does flash the reader his budding talent, and I would like to see more extensive work from him in the future. Despite being a short story where action often trumps character development, it’s surprising how much empathy this reviewer felt for the characters. There wasn’t much time for the author to give the reader a warm feeling about anything, but somehow he succeeded. Kudos to this promising Irish author, who writes westerns!

RATING: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Comment: It’s very difficult to rate a short story, such as this one, since it’s only 44 pages and is written by a new author. I gave it five stars because I thought he did a lot with those few pages. I’ve read quite a few new artists lately, and it seems to me that they are having a tough time getting their books published. So many of these nascent authors now rely on self-publishing. Are these large publishing houses afraid to take a chance on a newbie? Personally, I’m tired of reading these commercial writers, such as, James Patterson, Brad Meltzer, John Grisham, David Baldacci, or Nelson Demille. Yet, they are always on The New York Times bestseller list. Go figure! I would much rather read an old classic by a Dickens, or a Twain, or better yet, a new star, such as, Erik Larson, Candice Millard, or Ellen Marie Wiseman. Anyway, for what it is worth, that’s my opinion.