CHASING TEXAS

The author sent me a copy of his novel for review:

It’s self-evident that Reese Newton is a big fan of Cormac McCarthy (as am I). He writes a three segment novel somewhat similar to Cormac’s, The Border Trilogy: (All the Pretty Horses, The Crossing, and Cities of the Plain). The big difference? No darkness. There were many opportunities in this novel for Mr. Reese to get very dark, but I believe he kept the novel harmonious out of respect for McCarthy, and for that, I applaud Reese Newton. I’ve read too many novels that attempt to ape an influential author...and guess what? It doesn’t work. However I thought that Reese struggled with the direction of the novel and didn’t seem to know how to close out each segment. They just ended... like this sentence. By the way, I’m a big fan of the ellipsis (maybe you noticed). I do see potential for Reese as a budding writer, but he must inject more excitement in his novels. Inventing ‘poop’ to keep coyotes from one’s property doesn’t excite me, nor does a horse breaking his leg by stepping in a ‘dillo’s hole. I don’t want the author to emulate Cormac, but I need some of the chapters to end in ‘a white knuckle’ or ‘close shave’ ending. I know it’s easy for me to point out these problems, because I’m not writing the novel...but that’s why it’s easy to see spot flaws. This was an entertaining novel, just not a memorable one. And by the way, how many times can a young cowboy say, “Sir” before the reader gets nauseated? What’s wrong with “go f*** yourself.” Don’t get mad at the reviewer, I’m trying to give the author some positive direction.

The first slice of this novel is set in East Texas (circa 1915-1921) where we meet 18 year old Sedge Rountree (what happened to the ‘d’?). Sedge, wanting a more meaningful life other than working on his parent’s ranch, just decides to walk away one night. He encounters some moonshiners who rough him up. He later falls asleep on a woman’s property only to be woken up with a shotgun in his face. Once she finds that he is a harmless boy looking for a cowboy life, she feeds him and washes him and his clothes (this routine will be repeated ad nauseam). He hits the road again until he is almost run over by young girl driving her father’s car. After she drops him off in town, he is arrested as a possible chicken thief. Of course he gets off after the girl vouches for him. Later on his trip to West Texas, he is challenged to a shoot-off with a old woman...he loses, but once again he is fed and cleaned up. Later he gets a job on the Farley Ranch and meets a girl at the hardware store. Are you excited yet? Anyway, a ranch hand named Ray, who wants to be foreman, gets into a fight with Sedge and gets fired. Sedge decides to follow Ray to finalize the dispute. Ray beats him up, but Sedge is rescued by a Mexican couple and of course he is fed and cleaned up. Sound familiar? Later Sedge catches up to Ray and beats him up. End of part one. Reece, tell me you didn’t want to introduce some grief in this first section. It’s okay...Cormac is smiling.

Part two (1957) features Sedge’s nephew, Travis. John Rountree suddenly dies and Travis (17 years old) needs to support his mom. He goes to the Boudreaux Ranch to apply for the job his dad previously had. Surprisingly, he is hired. He does well at the ranch and meets a girl named Sherry. It’s love at first sight. Meanwhile, the ranch’s foreman, who goes by the name of Sample, gets fired for sleeping on the job. Will he come back to try to steal some cattle? Travis finds a sack of poop in the barn. It’s big cat and bear poop mixed with sawdust and glue. Travis refines it with human hair and piss. Whoa, it works. Put in milk cartons as a liquid and spread around the ranch’s perimeter, it stops uninvited creatures from attacking the cows and chickens. Mr. Boudreaux ask Travis if he will be foreman and live on the ranch. Travis agrees as long as he can still promote his ‘poop’ business. Once again the segment ends without any certitude. I think that each phase of this novel should have had a viable ending. Instead each part ended like a 1950s rock and roll song that invariably faded away into silence.

Now for the third part (2004 in West Texas). Okay, here is where I stop my synopsis of this novel. It involves Travis’s son, Ezell. Is this the part of the novel where we finally meet with some of Cormac McCarthy’s darkness? YES! Reece Newton literally saves his novel with this last segment. Finally one of the Rountree boys gets into Mexico and receives some serious harshness and evil. I have been waiting for this for 287 pages. What evil? Well, you will have to find out what happens yourself by buying a copy of this novel. I liked this story since I have an affinity for books about the wild west. I know I was critical, but how else is a writer going to improve? I thought Reece’s prose was acceptable and his local flavor of the era’s language seemed genuine (he is from Texas). Writing a novel is probably one of the hardest things to do. With that said, Mr. Newton...you did a yeoman’s job, and I give you big-time kudos for pulling the novel out of what I thought was in a death spiral.

  RATING: 4 out of 5 stars

Comment: Western novels have always interested me for reasons unknown to me. I have a copy of Zane Grey’s, Riders of the Purple Sage on my desk for over a year. I will read that novel this year for sure. I have read and reviewed books about Kit Carson (Blood and Thunder ), Davy Crockett (Born on a Mountaintop), Cochise (The Wrath of Cochise), Walter Van Tilburg Clark’s classic novel, The Ox-Bow Incident, and two of the three Cormac McCarthy novels mentioned in the first paragraph of my review. 

As far as movies are concerned, I have two favorites that when they are on T.V., I’m hooked for the 9th time. But the general public seems to think the best two westerns are John Ford directed pictures starring John Wayne (how can you not like him?), Stagecoach (1939) and The Searchers (1956). I did enjoy these movies, but they are not my favorites. So what are my favorites?

Well, my number one film is High Noon (1952). Believe it or not, I saw this movie when it first came out at the Court Theater in Somerville, NJ. I was eight years old. I had to go with my mother, so we could collect two free dinner plates. Wow, that brings back memories. It starred Gary Cooper and Grace Kelly as newlyweds leaving a New Mexico town when the Marshall (Cooper) finds out that the Frank Miller gang has been released from prison and are coming to town for revenge. To the chagrin of the Marshall, his wife (Grace Kelly) wants him to leave. As a man, he can’t do that. Let the suspense begin! By the way, the movie included Somerville, NJ's own, Lee Van Cleef as a member of the Frank Miller gang.

My second favorite movie is a spaghetti western. It stars Clint Eastwood and Eli Wallach in The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. Actually, I liked all of Eastwood’s Italian movies. A close third is another Eastwood movie, Unforgiven (1992), which features a disfigured whore and her cohorts posting a reward for the death of her attacker.

High Noon, the movie:

ROOM (1219)

This book (historical novel?) is much more than the three trials of Fatty Arbuckle for manslaughter...it is also about the history of silent films and its actors. I say that it might be a novel only because of the nebulous conclusions of the author, Greg Merritt. The facts of the three trials are real, but the author assumes that Fatty was telling the truth. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t. But the trials did establish the fact that if you are accused of a heinous crime, half the public will believe that you are guilty, even if you are acquitted...which was the case with Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle, the most famous slapstick actor of his time. He was more famous than fledgling comics Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin. In 1921, this incident was bigger than the contemporary murder trials of Robert Blake (actor) and O.J. Simpson (actor and football hero). It was big! Did Fatty abuse the laws of the country by knowingly think that he was exempt from prohibition and rape because he was a Hollywood star? Maybe. But these type of shenanigans have been done by celebrities before and after Arbuckle’s case, such as boxing promoter Don King, actor Gig Young (Final Gig), record producer Phil Spector, and Lillo Brancato, Jr., the star of the movie A Bronx Tale. The book also touches on Hollywood’s attempt to clean up its act after Fatty’s trials by hiring William B. Hays. “The announcement was front-page news, christening Hays ‘the Judge Landis of movies’ in reference to the first commissioner of major league baseball, appointed in November 1920 to resuscitate the national pastime’s image after 1919’s Black Sox scandal.” 

So, did Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle cause the death of actress Virginia Rappe on a wild Labor Day party at the Hotel St. Francis, or not? Was he capable of the rape and manslaughter charge that the D.A. of San Francisco accused him of? The author weaves a tale with many flashbacks that tends to say he was falsely charged. The book alternates between telling the story of Fatty Arbuckle’s rise to fame, the history of the silent film era, and the three trials of the slapstick star. I have to admit that I didn’t know how big of a star he was during the early 1900s prior to the first popular ‘talkie’, The Jazz Singer (1927). How did Virginia Rappe die of a bursted bladder in room 1219? The evidence tends to reveal that Rappe had a long time bladder problem (cystitis) which kicked in when drinking alcohol. She died of an infection four days after her bladder burst in Fatty’s room 1219 during that Labor Day orgy (so said the D.A. of San Francisco). She was observed drinking heavily during the party. Her past history shows evidence of heavy drinking, complaining of stomach pain culminating with her ripping off her clothes. Many of the people at the party said she did these exact things. Yet the D.A. said that Fatty threw her on a bed in his room and pounced on her with his almost 300 pounds and caused her bladder to burst. Really? Fatty says he found her in his bathroom puking and complaining of stomach pain. He picked her up and laid her down on the bed thinking that she needed to sleep off the effects of the booze. She apparently fell off the bed while tearing off her clothes. Some of the female actresses that were there tell a different story. Did Fatty insert a piece of ice in her vagina? Others accuse him of using a Coke bottle.

While reading this supposed non-fiction book that reads like fiction (which I love), I kept thinking to myself, "What were these people thinking?” The first autopsy revealed the cause of death as Rupture of the bladder with contributory: Acute Peritonitis. Okay that makes sense. The second autopsy noticed a chronic inflammation in the tissue of the ruptured bladder. Both doctors agreed, except the second doctor (Dr. Ophuls) later reversed his opinion and said, “He believed that the tear in Virginia Rappe’s bladder was caused by some external force.” The newspapers were merciless. Headlines stated: “Actress dies after hotel film party” (Los Angeles Examiner), “Girl dead after wild party in hotel” (The San Francisco Chronicle), “S.F. booze party kills young actress” (San Francisco Examiner). Basically, they said: “Detain Arbuckle, fat comedian in trouble as girl dies from orgy.” How about the Dayton Daily News editorial that said, “Arbuckle is a gross, common, bestial, drunken individual, and it is perfectly apparent that he has never deserved the patronage he has received. This is not his first escapade. Filled with liquor, his low bestiality asserts itself in treating a woman like a grizzly bear would a calf.” Wow, talk about a career ending blow. The author kept my interest during the entire 364 pages and 64 pages of notes.This book’s (I’m still unsure whether it’s non-fiction or historical fiction) last 21 pages reviews and analyzes Fatty’s three trials, arguing the pluses and minuses of the prosecution and the defense. This was a well researched historical novel (I decided against non-fiction) and I highly recommend this entertaining potboiler.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: Sadly, Fatty Arbuckle was harassed by many women’s groups after he was acquitted of manslaughter. His films were banned in many different states. His mansion, fancy cars, and ‘the good life’ were gone. His debts to his lawyers left him practically broke. He started directing movies under the alias of William Goodrich. As the years past and the public started to forget the trials...little by little he made a modest comeback. Then on June 29th 1933, he signed a contract with Warner Brothers to make his first feature film! The comeback was complete, let the good times roll again. Not really. He died in his sleep of a heart attack that very same night. He was only 46 years old. 

  Fatty made countless slapstick comedies that only ran from ten to twenty minutes apiece. During the early 1900s, the working man went to storefront type theaters that were called nickelodeons (it cost five cents to get in) with the earliest theaters only having “peep show” machines. The upper class didn’t go to these shows. Movie palaces for the upper class would come much later. The working man enjoyed the Keystone Kops and Fatty’s ‘pie in the face’ comedies.

Fatty is credited with promoting Charlie Chaplin’s career and discovering Buster Keaton and Bob Hope. As an interesting sidebar, Oliver Hardy (Stan Laurel’s partner) was one of Virginia Rappe’s pallbearers at her funeral.

Finally, here is a excerpt of the ridiculous editorial the San Francisco Bulletin ran on Fatty’s first day of the preliminary hearing on the death of Virginia Rappe: “...from the details at hand, the attack appears to have been savage without qualification. A veritable giant, one that has been described as a mountain of lecherous flesh, hurled himself upon a frail woman and fought with her after the manner of a mad elephant. But for that final avalanche of lard, the woman might have saved at least her life, for she seems to have struggled until the last vestige of her clothing had been torn to tatters…” Wow!  Are you kidding me? The ‘veritable giant’ was 5’ 8”. So sad.

Picture of Fatty in his typical dress:

ORYX and CRAKE

Did I like this foreboding novel by Margaret Atwood? Absolutely! However, I am not a big fan of flashback writing. Nevertheless, I realized that with this story there had to be a lot of background information given to the reader, when on page ten, Snowman (the narrator) says, “Now I’m alone, All, all alone. Alone on a wide, wide sea.” Okay, I get it, I just thought that it could have been done more uninterruptedly. Don’t take this the wrong way because this novel is spirited and magnetic. Just try putting Atwood’s story down without reading another chapter...I dare you. This novel is the first book in Atwood’s MaddAddam Trilogy, in which she categorizes her chilling work as...speculative fiction. There are many apocalyptic novels out there (too many to name, but I’ll talk about a few in my comment section), but this novel is more on the somber side because maybe, just maybe, a mega corporation has cured most diseases and puts too much trust in their brilliant geneticist. On the assumption that this company has defeated most diseases, would it behoove them to develop a new illness, so they can make a antidote to cure the afflicted and make more money? Or what about making a wonder drug that is a prophylactic agent. Wouldn’t everybody buy this pill? But what if the headman for this project is “a incompetent nihilist?” Or someone who thinks man, as we know him, must be replaced with a better model. Oops.  By the way, you will see many words without a space between them, such as, MaddAddam with dual capital letters. They are not typos.

The story starts off with Snowman (a.k.a. Jimmy, our protagonist) living in a tree on the beach watching over new primitive humanoid-like creatures known as the Crakers. The story flashes back to Jimmy and Glenn’s (a.k.a. Crake) childhood and their friendship. We are in a world of an undetermined future. Jimmy’s father works as a geneographer for OrganInc Farms in a special protected farm compound. The ordinary people live in what is called...pleebland (outside the compounds). The farm grows human organs in a genetically altered pig known as a pigoon. Ha, many other animals were developed by bored scientists such as, Rakunks (part raccoon & part skunk), and Snats (a rat with a long green scaly tail & rattlesnake fangs). This novel is some kinda trip. Anyway the boys spend their time watching child pornography, playing a game called Extinctathon, or watching live executions. They see a beautiful girl (later to be named Oryx) on a child porn site. When the boys graduate High School, Crake is accepted into the prestigious Watson-Crick, while the less brilliant Snowman is accepted into a humanities school named Martha Graham Academy. They graduate and Crake is hired by HelthWyzer, a company that makes new diseases to cure. He tells Snowman that “They put the hostile bioforms into their vitamin pills-their HelthWyzer over-the-counter premium brand...they embed a virus inside a carrier bacterium, E. coli splice...Naturally they develop the antidotes at the same time...so they are guaranteed high profits.” Meanwhile, Snowman graduates with a degree in ‘Problematics’ and is hired as a ad man by the AnooYoo compound.

Crake is transferred to the RejoovenEsense compound and hires Snowman as his ad man, but he also hires Oryx as his sex object (does she secretly love Snowman?) and to be the future teacher of the Crakers. Is this the harbinger of death for mankind? Ah, you say, who are the Crakers? Well, they are simple human-like creatures genetically modified by Crake. They live in the paradice (not misspelled) bubble at RejoovenEsense. Are these less aggressive humanoids purposely engineered to inherit Earth? They are naked, eat grass and leaves, smell like citrus fruit to repel insects, eat their own shit for vitamins & minerals and to break down their cellulose. The men piss in a invisible line that marks their territory. “Crake had worked for years on the purring.” This is how the Crakers cured minor injuries. They purred like a cat. They only had sex when the woman were in heat. Are these the inheritors of Earth? They consider Oryx their teacher and Crake their God (they have never seen him). What happens from here is pure genius by Margaret Atwood. I can only imagine what happens in the next two novels, The Year of the Flood and MaddAddam. This was a great book with excellent prose and excellent timing between flashbacks (which I normally hate). I would highly recommend this first novel of three.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: So what are my three favorite apocalyptic novels that I’ve read? The following are my top three:

The Stand by Stephen King (1978), Goodreads.com ays, “This is the way the world ends: with a nanosecond of computer error in a Defense Department laboratory and a million casual contacts that form the links in a chain letter of death.

And here is the bleak new world of the day after: a world stripped of its institutions and emptied of 99 percent of its people. A world in which a handful of panicky survivors choose sides -- or are chosen. A world in which good rides on the frail shoulders of the 108-year-old Mother Abagail -- and the worst nightmares of evil are embodied in a man with a lethal smile and unspeakable powers: Randall Flagg, the dark man.

In 1978 Stephen King published The Stand, the novel that is now considered to be one of his finest works. But as it was first published, The Stand was incomplete, since more than 150,000 words had been cut from the original manuscript.

Now Stephen King's apocalyptic vision of a world blasted by plague and embroiled in an elemental struggle between good and evil has been restored to its entirety. The Stand : The Complete And Uncut Edition includes more than five hundred pages of material previously deleted, along with new material that King added as he reworked the manuscript for a new generation. It gives us new characters and endows familiar ones with new depths. It has a new beginning and a new ending. What emerges is a gripping work with the scope and moral complexity of a true epic.

For hundreds of thousands of fans who read The Stand in its original version and wanted more, this new edition is Stephen King's gift. And those who are reading The Stand for the first time will discover a triumphant and eerily plausible work of the imagination that takes on the issues that will determine our survival.”

Alas, Babylon by Pat Frank (1959), (see my review of 4/25/2013). Amazon.com says, “Those fateful words heralded the end. When the unthinkable nightmare of nuclear holocaust ravaged the United States, it was instant death for tens of millions of people; for survivors, it was a nightmare of hunger, sickness, and brutality. Overnight, a thousand years of civilization were stripped away.

But for one small Florida town, spared against all the odds, the struggle was just beginning, as men and women of all ages and races found the courage to join together and push against the darkness.”

On the Beach by Nevil Shute (1957), Amazon.com says, “Nevil Shute’s most powerful novel—a bestseller for decades after its 1957 publication—is an unforgettable vision of a post-apocalyptic world.

After a nuclear World War III has destroyed most of the globe, the few remaining survivors in southern Australia await the radioactive cloud that is heading their way and bringing certain death to everyone in its path. Among them is an American submarine captain struggling to resist the knowledge that his wife and children in the United States must be dead. Then a faint Morse code signal is picked up, transmitting from somewhere near Seattle, and Captain Towers must lead his submarine crew on a bleak tour of the ruined world in a desperate search for signs of life. Both terrifying and intensely moving, On the Beach is a remarkably convincing portrait of how ordinary people might face the most unimaginable nightmare.”

From the movie:

MALIA'S MIRACLES

The author sent me an autographed copy of her novel to review:

This is by far the most exciting novel of the series to date. I think the author’s prose is getting better along with a stronger understanding of the serial’s direction. The first novel, Ashlynn's Dreams (see my review of 5/31/2014) was a very sound YA novel; the second novel, Nadia's Tears (see my review of 9/12/2014) was a little confusing and somewhat bland. This third novel is a big time comeback. The story started off chock-full of characters (not to my liking), but eventually proceeded to the original Devya characters. I think the biggest mistake fledgling authors make is putting names and background to characters that are not important to the story. I don’t want to be too analytical because I liked this YA novel...but let’s get rid of the cartoon book covers. This makes your hard work look like it’s a funny book. There is nothing wrong with a YA book having a adultish cover, like Karen Thompson Walker’s The Age of Miracles (see my review of 3/28/2013). I know it is easy to excoriate an author’s  work when I haven’t written a novel, but from the outside looking in, it is easy to see the flaws and the favorable attributes. Like I said, I don’t want to trivialize so lets talk about the story.

The story starts off with most of the Devya’s Children family going to Pennsylvania for Malia’s adoption ceremony into the Davidson family. Christy Roman (Danielle’s friend from the second novel) reveals that her mom is dying of cancer. Danielle wonders if the gifted children can cure her. Previous characters, special agents Ann and Patrick Duncan, are at the ceremony. The gifted children go to the hospital escorted by Varick (you will have to read the first novel to find out how he became the soldier of the group). Once the children see that Christy’s mom is dying of cancer... Nadia (becoming Queen Elena in dreams again) and Malia come up with a plan to save Christy’s mom’s life. Malia spots some suspicious men in the hospital’s lobby. Who are they and what do they want? Danielle tells her friend Christy that if the gifted children can save her mom’s life, it has to be a secret because “There’s no guarantee they can win here, but if they do and people find out what they are capable of, their lives will be ruined.” You really have to read the previous novels to truly comprehend certain situations, or at least read my previous reviews.

On page 116, the gifted children find out that a newly born sibling, Anastasia, has been added to Devya’s Children family. “She was meant to have gifts like Nadia, but one of the scientists sabotaged the project”. The reader will meet Danielle and Dominique’s nasty Aunt Sophie and Uncle Phillip at the hospital. What is their motive for being there and what are they scheming? Anyway, three of the gifted children: Jillian, Malia, and Michio attempt to cure Christy’s mom of cancer, while the rest of the gifted children distract the nurses into thinking that they are having a prayer vigil in the room. Then misfortune happens...Okay, I think I whet your appetite enough for you to buy your own copy of this exciting third novel in the Devya’s Children series. And I haven’t even mentioned Dr. Karita Robinson, former associate of Dr. Devya and now Director of The Guardians (a secret U.S. government agency). Why is she suddenly in the hospital? I think that the author, Julie Gilbert, has learned how to put a multiplot novel together thus turning this third novel into a impressive Blue Chipper. Needless to say, I highly recommend this novel.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: There are many YA books self-published each year. In fact, I believe only about three percent of books sent to major publishers, such as, Simon & Schuster or HarperCollins, are accepted. Sooner or later the Indies will be the major players. That would be just deserts! So what does all this mean? No more “book signing tours”, except for the rich and famous, such as, Bill O’Reilly, who keeps publishing his worthless Killing...whatever series. No money to pay for a good editor or continuity manager? As a matter of fact, I’m surprised how well these Indie books are written without the aid of a good editor. Who is proofing these books? I guess it’s mom, dad, husband, or wife. If so, they are doing a yeoman’s job.

According to Goodreads. com, one of the best YA Indie authors is Amanda Hocking:

"Amanda Hocking is a lifelong Minnesotan obsessed with Batman and Jim Henson. In between watching cooking shows, taking care of her menagerie of pets, and drinking too much Red Bull Zero, she writes young adult urban fantasy and paranormal romance.

Her New York Times best-selling series the Trylle Trilogy has been optioned for films. She has published fifteen novels, including the Hollows and the Watersong series. Frostfire - the first book in her newest trilogy, The Kanin Chronicles - is out now, and the second book -Ice Kissed - will be May 5, 2015."

Her first novel, Switched (A Trylle Novel) was a 2010 Indie. Amazon.com says about the  story: 'When Wendy Everly was six years old, her mother was convinced she was a monster and tried to kill her. Eleven years later, Wendy discovers her mother might have been right.  She’s not the person she’s always believed herself to be, and her whole life begins to unravel—all because of Finn Holmes.

Finn is a mysterious guy who always seems to be watching her.  Every encounter leaves her deeply shaken…though it has more to do with her fierce attraction to him than she’d ever admit.  But it isn’t long before he reveals the truth:  Wendy is a changeling who was switched at birth—and he’s come to take her home. 
  
Now Wendy’s about to journey to a magical world she never knew existed, one that’s both beautiful and frightening.  And where she must leave her old life behind to discover who she’s meant to become…

As a special gift to readers, this book contains a new, never-before-published bonus story, “The Vittra Attacks,” set in the magical world of the Trylle.'

CAT'S CRADLE

Kurt Vonnegut’s 1963 novel satirizing the complete destruction of the world is the cat’s meow. It was as funny as Joseph Heller’s, Catch-22: 50th Anniversary Edition (see my review of 2/17/2013) or the 1964 film Dr. Strangelove. Wow, what a classic apocalyptic novel! And talk about short chapter books...how about 127 chapters in only 287 pages. I’ve said before that short chapter books keep me awake and reading through the night. According to Wikipedia...“in 1971 the University of Chicago awarded Vonnegut his Master's degree in anthropology for Cat's Cradle.” All I know is that this novel is one pool-pah (shit storm) to the zah-mah-ki-bo (inevitable destiny) of mankind. The previous sentence contains bokononism speak. What? Yeah, it’s like the Hawaiian pidgin language...Eh! (you know) lolo buggah (crazy guy) don’t talk stink (speak bad about) about this book, bodda you? (does this bother you?). Okay, I’m having some fun, but if you read this novel, get ready to learn the Republic of San Lorenzo’s official language...an incomprehensible version of the Basque language, such as Tsvent-kiul, tsvent-kiul, lett-pool store (Twinkle, twinkle, little star). These are not the brightest people living on this incredibly poor fictional island.

The narrator of this story is John (a.k.a. Jonah) with no last name given. He sets out to write a book about the father of the atomic bomb, Dr. Felix Hoenikker (who has passed away) and what he was doing when the bomb was dropped on Japan (he was playing cat’s cradle, which is not important to the story). He has three children: Frank, who likes to put models together; Angela, a nondescript tall drink of water; and, Newton, a midget in love with a Russian midget dancer. John doesn’t get much cooperation in his attempts to interview the children, so he goes to see Dr. Asa Breed, who was Dr. Hoenikker’s supervisor at the General Forge and Foundry Company in Ilium, N.Y. John learns that Dr. Hoenikker was approached by a Marine General to come up with a solution to harden the mud his marines were always slogging through. Dr. Breed tells John that the remedy for hardening the mud was never accomplished. But the reader finds out that the problem was solved by Dr. Hoenikker in the form of a blue and white chip known as ice-nine. On page 51, we learn, “Felix Hoenikker had put the chip in a little bottle; and he put the bottle in his pocket. And he had gone to his cottage on Cape Cod with his three children, there intending to celebrate Christmas.” Then, disaster struck. “The old man had died on Christmas Eve, having told only his children about ice-nine. His children had divided the ice-nine among themselves.” This chip could freeze the world’s waterways and end life on Earth.

Angela and Newton vanish, while Frank is believed to have been killed working in a hobby store. Unbeknownst to Frank, the store was a front for a stolen car ring. Then John reads in a New York Sunday Times supplement that Frank is a Major General for the president of San Lorenzo, “Papa” Monzano, a dying dictator. Now the story morphs to the Island. The flight to the San Lorenzo is hilarious. On the plane are H. Lowe Crosby and wife, seeking cheap labor for his bicycle business; the U.S. Ambassador Minton and his wife; and the previously absent siblings, Angela and Newton, and of course, our narrator, John. On the plane, we learn about Bokonon (a.k.a Johnson) and a Marine Corporal deserter took over the island, and “That Corporal McCabe and Johnson were able to take command of San Lorenzo was not a miracle in any sense...The reason was simple: God, in his infinite wisdom, had made the island worthless.” Ha-ha. Bokonon has become a outlawed holy man (by his own volition). “Papa” Monzano has a giant hook hanging off a crossbar mounted on two telephone poles to impale any one believing in the Bokonon religion, even though the entire populace including “Papa” believe in it. The believers lie down opposite each other and touch the soles of their feet together. Everybody seems to know that the religion is a spoof (including Bokonon), but there is nothing else to do on the island. Once the plane lands on the island, the story soars. I still haven’t told you about Mona (Papa’s adopted daughter) or what happens to the ice-nine. Will the world survive, or will the freezing chips be dropped in the bay?

This was such an entertaining novel that I don’t know how (including Heller’s novel) to categorize it. Is there a satire/funny science fiction genre? If so, this novel belongs in it. Vonnegut’s brilliance is so evident in this work. Wikipedia sums up Vonnegut’s talent by stating, “ His works are characterized by wild leaps of imagination and a deep cynicism, tempered by humanism.” Amen. I highly recommend this novel.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: So are there other funny/sci-fi novels? Yes, what about Kurt Vonnegut’s 1969 novel, Slaughterhouse-Five. Goodreads.com states, "Kurt Vonnegut's absurdist classic Slaughterhouse-five introduces us to Billy Pilgrim, a man who becomes unstuck in time after he is abducted by aliens from the planet Tralfamadore. In a plot-scrambling display of virtuosity, we follow Pilgrim simultaneously through all phases of his life, concentrating on his (and Vonnegut's) shattering experience as an American prisoner of war who witnesses the firebombing of Dresden.

Don't let the ease of reading fool you - Vonnegut's isn't a conventional, or simple, novel. He writes, 'There are almost no characters in this story, and almost no dramatic confrontations, because most of the people in it are so sick, and so much the listless playthings of enormous forces. One of the main effects of war, after all, is that people are discouraged from being characters.'

Slaughterhouse-Five is not only Vonnegut's most powerful book, it is also as important as any written since 1945. Like Catch- 22, it fashions the author's experiences in the Second World War into an eloquent and deeply funny plea against butchery in the service of authority. Slaughterhouse-Five boasts the same imagination, humanity, and gleeful appreciation of the absurd found in Vonnegut's other works, but the book's basis in rock-hard, tragic fact gives it a unique poignancy - and humor."

And what about The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams (1979). Goodreads.com states, “Seconds before the Earth is demolished to make way for a galactic freeway, Arthur Dent is plucked off the planet by his friend Ford Prefect, a researcher for the revised edition of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy who, for the last fifteen years, has been posing as an out-of-work actor.

Together this dynamic pair begin a journey through space aided by quotes from The Hitchhiker's Guide ('A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have') and a galaxy-full of fellow travelers: Zaphod Beeblebrox--the two-headed, three-armed ex-hippie and totally out-to-lunch president of the galaxy; Trillian, Zaphod's girlfriend (formally Tricia McMillan), whom Arthur tried to pick up at a cocktail party once upon a time zone; Marvin, a paranoid, brilliant, and chronically depressed robot; Veet Voojagig, a former graduate student who is obsessed with the disappearance of all the ballpoint pens he bought over the years.”

And what about George Orwell’s Animal Farm (1945). Orwell states about his novel, “Man is the only creature that consumes without producing. He does not give milk, he does not lay eggs, he is too weak to pull the plough, he cannot run fast enough to catch rabbits. Yet he is lord of all the animals. He sets them to work, he gives back to them the bare minimum that will prevent them from starving, and the rest he keeps for himself.” This is not sci-fi, but certainly one of the best satirical novels of all time.

Is this the cat’s cradle game?

The Graveyard Book

This is a guest review from my eleven year old grandson, Kai:

 Nobody Owens would be a perfectly normal boy if he didn’t live in a graveyard and wasn't able to see and talk to ghosts. I haven’t read anything like this before.

Nobody Owens used to have a family until his family was murdered by, as Neil Gaiman calls him in the book, The Man Jack.

Fortunately for Bod (short for Nobody, as his ghost friends named him), he had already learned to walk as a toddler and being curious had wandered into the graveyard near his house. He is adopted by the keeper of the graveyard, Silas, and all the ghosts within the graveyard.

Unfortunately for The Man Jack, the most important person he had to murder (Bod) had seemingly disappeared.

So Nobody Owens begins his life in the graveyard being educated by the ghosts, sleeping in the cathedral and being schooled and raised by his mysterious guardian, Silas.

But Jack hasn’t given up yet and will pursue Nobody Owens to finish the murder he started. But meanwhile, Nobody Owens will grow up solely in the graveyard while getting into some interesting situations and even being mistaken for an imaginary friend.

I think that this is a wonderful story, and I give credit to the author for thinking of it. I would recommend this to anybody, but mostly to the fourth to sixth graders. I would give this book a solid five stars.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: Is this the murderer?

Nobody Owens in the graveyard:

The Wallcreeper

Nell Zell writes a novel that is Much Ado About Nothing (sorry Shakespeare), although there are some funny spots in the novel like the comedic play. I’m not really sure what the purpose of this novel was. We have a expatriate couple living in a suburb of Berne, Switzerland doing whatever. Tiff and Stephen were married three weeks after meeting in a pharmaceutical company. Stephen, besides being a lab worker of sorts, is a birdwatcher. Stephen drives into a rock, or was it the bird. The sudden slight crash causes Tiff to have a miscarriage. Is this even possible? If I were writing this novel, I would come up with something more germane. Maybe seeing a strange bird, I would crash into a concrete medium. Anyway, nobody seems overly sad about the miscarriage; as a matter of fact, while waiting for Tiff to heal, he takes advantage of her other orifices. Other than the smell of some of these escapades, Tiff does not seem to protest.

Anyway, this injured bird turns out to be a Wallcreeper. Stephen takes it into their apartment and puts up pegboard filled with bacon bits for the bird’s enjoyment. The bird likes to say, “twee.” The bird is named Rudolf (Rudi), and after it heals, they open a window and it flies away. Meanwhile, Tiff has an affair with a Syrian Jew named Elvis, who sells beer and candy at a gas station. What? Stephen is having his affairs, including Tiff’s sister, Constance. Stephen joins the Swiss Society for the Protection of Birds so that he can view birds from their advantage points. Then the unexpected happens! Rudi comes back scratching at their window. Birdwatchers get wind of this event and visit the apartment with their cameras and video equipment. It is decided that a chip should be put on Rudi so they can release and track him. He is released into the wild. Stephen and Tiff track Rudi into a forest where he is building a nest.

Tragedy strikes! While building his nest, Rudi is attacked by a hawk, who buries his beak into Rudi’s chest and eats his heart (HaHa). Sorry, I just thought that part was funny. Don’t think that I’m giving away the story because it’s just starting. It seems that the couple were never the same again. Stephen quits his job and joins environmental activist groups in Berlin. Both husband and wife have more affairs seemingly without any cogitation behind it. Where does this novel go from here? You will have to buy your own copy to find out. I usually compare the author’s work with similar works in the first paragraph, but you will notice that I didn’t. That’s because this novel, while somewhat entertaining, didn’t seem to have a plot or direction to compare. I’m not saying this novel was a complete failure, lets just say, “caveat emptor.”

RATING: 3 out of 5 stars

Comment: For the first time, I don’t have one, except that this is the first time that I read a book recommended by The New York Times Book Review that I wasn't thrilled with. Oh well.

the ALCHEMIST

Awesome! What did I just read? Was it a variation of an Aesop fable? A tale about an early entrepreneur? Or, a philosophical look at man’s dreams? I’m not sure, but it was a delightful tale. The story was simple, but having total faith in “The soul of the world” isn’t, is it? Am I to believe that if I followed my Personal Legend (always in caps in the novel), that “...when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it”, so says the alleged King of Salem. Where is Salem, what year is it, and who is he really? None of this is divulged in the novel. Basically, the main theme of the novel is...if you follow your dreams, the world will assist you. Wow, I wish I knew that when I was a young man. If I saw omens, I didn’t know how to interpret them. I never heard of the Arabic word...maktub (it is written), and if I did, would I have had an easier climb to a possible success?

Or, is it as simple as stated in the “about the author” section at the novel’s end, “Paulo Coelho once said that following your dream is like learning a foreign language; you will make mistakes but you will get there in the end.” That might be true, but I don’t think any man ever had a conversation with the desert, the wind, the sun, or an opportunity to “speak to the hand that wrote all.” Are we talking about the big man upstairs? After reading this classic, I understand why it took Paulo so long to get the novel published. Paulo Coelho says, “I always knew that my Personal Legend, to use a term from alchemy, was to write.” It’s hard to decide what niche this novel belongs to. After reading this tale, I’m not sure. Anyway, enough said, lets talk about the eight characters in the novel (some have brief appearances, but all are important to the story).

First, we have our protagonist, Santiago, the sheepherder. He lives in Spain and wanders the countryside with his herd. The sheep trust him to find food and water (the only thing they want), and in return, they provide him an income when they are sheared. But Santiago has a recurring dream...a child at the Egyptian pyramids says, “If you come here, you will find a hidden treasure.”

Secondly, we have the gypsy woman who interprets dreams and agrees that there is a treasure awaiting him. She will take no fee but wants one-tenth of the treasure if he finds it.

Thirdly, we meet the King of Salem, Melchizedek. He says to Santiago, “Give me one-tenth of your sheep and I’ll tell you how to find the hidden treasure.” He tells Santiago the same thing that the gypsy woman said, but gives him two stones from his golden breastplate. They are urim and Thummim. The King says, “When you are unable to read the omens, they will help you to do so. Always ask an objective question.” Now if you think that I’m giving the story away, think again. I’m only on page 33.

Santiago sells his sheep, pays the King his one-tenth (six sheep), and boats over to Africa where he is robbed. Now broke, he finds a job with a crystal shopkeeper (the fourth character). Santiago improves the business dramatically and saves enough money to quit his job in less than a year. Santiago leaves the shop without saying goodbye to the shopkeeper and continues on his Personal Legend. Okay, stop worrying, I’m only on page 65.

Alright, I will not tell you anymore except that the remaining four characters are: the Englishman (the reader never finds out his name), Fatima (the love of Santiago’s life), the Alchemist (I loved this character), and lastly, the Coptic Monk. Folks, you are going to blow right through this fast moving novel. Is Santiago a man in search of truth like the narrator in Daniel Quinn’s, Ishmael: An Adventure of the Mind and Spirit (1995)? Don’t you love literature? After reading The Alchemist, I almost want to read The Arabian Nights, a very old collection of tales written by various authors. The key word in that statement is almost. Anyway, I highly recommend this classic novel.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: After reading about the tribal wars in The Alchemist, I started to think about Lawrence of Arabia. The best book about him seems to be Jeremy Wilson’s Lawrence of Arabia: The Authorized Biography of T.E. Lawrence. Amazon.com states, “The exploits of T.E. Lawrence as British liaison officer in the Arab Revolt, recounted in his work Seven Pillars of Wisdom, made him one of the most famous Englishmen of his generation. This biography explores his life and career including his correspondence with writers, artists and politicians.”

Goodreads.com states, “The unabridged edition was selected by The New York Times as one of the six best nonfiction books of 1990. Now this critically acclaimed biography--abridged by the author--offers a portrait of the legendary modern-day knight, Arab revolt leader, British secret agent and World War I military genius. 32 pages of photographs.”

The author Jeremy Wilson said on 11/6/2011, 'I completed Lawrence of Arabia, The Authorised Biography in 1989. The full text ran to 1,200 pages – around half a million words. It was published in Britain that year by Heinemann, and in the US by Atheneum in 1990. The New York Times Review of Books ranked it among the fourteen best titles of its year. Their reviewer had written: “This biography will endure beside Seven Pillars as his monument, and any future book about T. E. Lawrence will be but a commentary on it”. Malcolm Brown, writing in the London Daily Telegraph, described it as: “the solid sheet-anchor study this subject has long required”. Kirkus Reviews labelled it the “definitive historical biography”.'

Another good book about tribal life is Ibrahim al-Koni’s Gold Dust. Amazon.com states, “Rejected by his tribe and hunted by the kin of the man he killed, Ukhayyad and his thoroughbred camel flee across the desolate Tuareg deserts of the Sahara. Between bloody wars against the Italians in the north and famine raging in the south, Ukhayyad rides for the remote rock caves of Jebel Hasawna. There, he says farewell to the mount who has been his companion through thirst, disease, lust, and loneliness. Alone in the desert, haunted by the prophetic cave paintings of ancient hunting scenes and the cries of jinn in the night, Ukhayyad awaits the arrival of his pursuers and their insatiable hunger for blood and gold. Gold Dust is a classic story of the brotherhood between man and beast, the thread of companionship that is all the difference between life and death in the desert. It is a story of the fight to endure in a world of limitless and waterless wastes, and a parable of the struggle to survive in the most dangerous landscape of all: human society.”

Poster of the 1962 movie: