POTLATCH

The author sent me his novel to read and review:

I read this funny novel and still don’t know what Potlatch is. Is it what scam artist Ray Coggins says it is? “It’s...a word I’ve heard the Boss use sometimes...it means the organization - you know, the Gallaher organization (South Philly’s answer to Tammany Hall’s Boss Tweed). The well oiled machine that keeps us all alive and well.” Or is it what the homeless man extraordinaire, Randolph, thinks it is? “It’s something the Indians out West used to do, until the white man put a stop to it. I read about it in National Geographic. It was a kind of pow-wow where the big chief gave lots of stuff away to keep the tribe happy. He later said, “Course the white man put an end to all this, just like everything else the Indians did. The white man didn’t want those Indians giving away trinkets to each other. He wanted them to sell the trinkets to the white folks who gambled at the casinos.” Welcome to the silly world of super-rich tax-dodgers who run non profit companies for a profit by being a nonprofit company. Of course, most of the college graduate employees have unpaid internships. That’s why they go to UCLA (University on the Corner of Lancaster Avenue) run by a college president known as “Half Nelson”. I told you that this an absurd novel. Nothing in this novel makes sense (obviously on purpose). It is a somewhat silly novel, sometimes a bit absurd in the same way Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series was. Haha’s are good but keep the level of hilarity down to a dull roar every now and then. In other words, everything Seinfeld said wasn’t meant to be funny. Relax, come up for air once in awhile. That’s my only criticism of a otherwise humorous avant-garde novel. Okay, What’s the story about? I’m not sure; let’s talk about Bruce Hartman’s characters instead.

The first character your going to meet is the narrator, Alice Coggins. She is twenty four years old and single. Her family wants her to marry Judge Rotundo’s son, Kyle. She knows that Kyle is a dope, but he happens to be Alice’s father’s probation officer. A neighbor named Hector Lopez (an intern in a all-woman bank, haha) also wants to marry Alice. Again not a match for Alice. Will she find the right guy while interning as a waitress for Gallaher Catering? Her sister Tiffany is two years older and considered by Alice to be slutty. Tiffany aspires to latch on to a lawyer. Alice’s father, Ray Coggins, is a scam artist who is serving a life sentence under house arrest (yea, that’s right). He wears a ankle cuff and can go as far as his front stoop before the alarm will go off. Alice’s mom has the best job in the world. “When he (Ray Coggins) went under house arrest, he pulled some strings to get mom a no-show job in the Motor Vehicles Department.” Ray can get out of the house whenever Boss Gallaher, who seems to own every business in South Philly, needs him for a job. Then we have the local loan shark, “Baby Boy” Backocy, who owns a butcher shop. “The butcher shop was a front for his loansharking business. Eventually he opened a branch “downtown”- meaning in South Philly -where he could expand his customer base.” “South of South,” Dad said, “you’re in Gallaher territory. Baby Boy’s clients know what they need to keep their lines of credit open.” Otherwise they would meet Baby Boy’s muscle...Howie. By the way, UCLA’s president “Half Nelson” owed Baby a half a million dollars. Ouch! Ray Coggins would get released for the day (authorized by Boss Gallaher) so he could facilitate this problem between Baby Boy and Half Nelson. I still haven’t told you anything about the story...and I ain’t gonna.

Incidentally, when I was talking about Ray Coggins, I forgot to mention that Ray was going to start a new political party...The Neanderthal Party. Yes, that’s right, he is going after the Neanderthal vote! Alice explains how it started, “Dad pulled out a Q-tip, asked me to open my mouth, and he took a swab of DNA from inside my cheek to send to the National Geographic ancestry project.” He said, “You might find out you belong to some group that’s entitled to benefits...maybe you can open a casino.” Well, lo and behold, the results came back saying Alice was 2.6% Neanderthal. Anyway, a man of interest for her and her sister was Andrew Ogleby, who recently passed the bar exam and was now working as a non-paid intern (of course) for the law firm “Stark Raven”, a firm “dedicated solely to non-profits.” Andrew lived with his dad, David, and his mom, Patti, in a high-end condominium building. His dad is a “white-haired blue blooded elder statesman of the local non-profit community.” His mom is much younger and a real looker. She sells condos in her building and seems to be looking for a new mate ever since she found out that David lost his money some time ago. Andrew’s parents want him to marry the ugly Melissa Forepaugh, a pet food heiress. Oh well. Did I mention Randolph, the homeless man? He chats with Ray Coggins every morning while doing his tour of the neighborhood. Randolph is an artist in the new social rage, Homeless Art. Andrew Ogleby was invited to the gala opening of the Museum of Homeless Art. Andrew’s boss, Mr. Wolf of Stark Raven said to him, “The museum,” Mr. Wolf had explained, “was the brainchild of the Stark Raven tax department, conceived and executed as “Operation Shelter” for Bob Baskerville, one of their most important clients. The shelter in question was a tax shelter, not a homeless shelter.” Who is Bob Baskerville...really?   

Okay, enough of the cast of characters. There still is a lot of the persona that I haven’t mentioned...too many for me to go on any further. Cormac McCarthy’s theory of three to five main characters in a novel has been blown to bits by author Bruce Hartman. If you are in the mood for a silly story...read this one, in-between brain-twisters. I think this is only the second review out of the 325 published by me that I didn’t talk about the actual story.   

RATING: 4 out of 5 stars

Comment: My all time favorite comedy novel is Joseph Heller’s 1961 novel, Catch 22 (see my review of 2/17/2013). It’s the only novel that I actually laughed out loud as I was reading it.

It became a hit movie in 1970 with a spectacular cast: Alan Arkin, Art Garfunkel, Martin Balsam, Orson Welles, Richard Benjamin, Buck Henry, Anthony Perkins, Jon Voight, Martin Sheen, Bob Newhart, Paula Prentiss, Jack Gilford, Norman Fell and Charles Grodin to name a few. What a cast...are you kidding me?

the WOMAN in the WINDOW

The author, A. J. Finn, has weaved a Alfred Hitchcockian type tale that reminds me of the 1954 movie, Rear Window, but is distinctly different. In Finn’s novel we have a 39 year old child psychologist, Anna, who has agoraphobia (in her case-a fear of being outside) and who witnesses a murder from her window...or did she? Can a witness be reliable if she is on a diet of merlot wine and numerous self-prescribed pills? Basically, she is a mental mess after a recent horrible car accident. She is also freshly separated from her husband, Ed and her daughter, Olivia. She is a recluse who sleeps late, talks to her family (who aren’t there), communicates on the internet site, Agora, with others that have her phobia and then watches old black and white movies all night...mostly mysteries. Oh yea, she also spies on her neighbors with her Nikon D5500 camera. The author got my attention immediately with excellent prose (with a touch of ergodic literature thrown in) that kept me guessing throughout the 427 pages. The only minor flaw was the author’s repetitive time spent writing about Anna’s addictions to pills and merlot wine. But like I said that was minor compared to the constant drama and tension that built up as I read each short (which I’m a big fan of) cliffhanging chapter. I did try to figure out the ending, but with so many surprises along with the many twist and turns, I failed to solve this gripping whodunit because I was never sure a murder even happened.  

Anna lives in a four story multi-million dollar home in NYC with her cat, Punch and a basement tenant, David. The story starts out with Anna spying on her neighbors across the street in #212. She sees Dr. Miller almost catch his wife in bed with their contractor. While she is having a discussion with her daughter and husband (who aren’t there), she sees new neighbors moving into #207 across the park. “The deed of sale posted yesterday. My new neighbors are Alistair and Jane Russell (and their teenage son, Ethan); they paid $3.45 million for their humble abode. Google tells me that he’s a partner at a midsize consultancy, previously based in Boston. She’s untraceable-you try plugging Jane Russell into a search engine.” During the day, Anna logs on to the internet site, Agora, with the code name of thedoctorisin. She tries to help various people that have agoraphobic fears similar to hers, which…"includes being outside the home alone; being in a crowd, or standing in a line; being on a bridge.” One of the newcomers emailed her. Anna directs her to a survival manual she whipped up in the spring. It explains how to get food and  medicine without leaving the house, et cetera. The doorbell rings...it’s the Russell’s boy, Ethan. He gives Anna a gift of a lavender candle from his mother. Ethan seems to be a shy boy. He ask where her family is. Anna tells him that Ed and Olivia don’t live with her, “We’re separated.” She tells him that she is a psychologist who works with children. He leaves. Is he as delicate as he appears?  

On Halloween, Since Anna doesn’t answer the door for trick or treaters, her house is egged. The kids will not stop. “I jolt the door open. Light and air blast me.” She is hit with eggs and falls, “I taste concrete. I Taste blood. I feel my limbs pinwheeled on the ground. The ground ripples against my body. My body ripples against the air.” Suddenly someone chases the kids away and helps Anna back into the house. Anna looks at the woman and says, “You’re Jane Russell.” She stops, looking at me in wonder, then laughs, her teeth glinting in the half-light. “How did you know that?” Several days later, Anna has her camera on the Russell’s house…"then the doorbell rings.” It’s jane Russell, “You must be bored as hell”, she says when I open the door. Then she folds me into a hug. I laugh, nervously. “Sick of all those black and white movies, I bet.” “I brought something for you.” She smiles, dipping a hand into her bag. “It’s cold, too.” A sweaty bottle of Riesling. My mouth waters. It’s been ages since I drank white. “Oh, you shouldn’t…” They drink and play chess for two and a half hours before Jane leaves and says, “I’ve got very important things to do.” What is so important? The next day, after Anna finishes playing chess on the internet and was deciding on what Hitchcock movie to watch, she hears from #207, “A scream, raw and horrorstruck, torn from the throat.” Okay, I hope I was able to arouse your interest. I just wanted to give you the flavor of what’s ahead. There is no way you can anticipate what happens in the next 312 pages. Get your own copy of this New York Times bestseller...soon to be a movie.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: I think (that) it’s funny that two of Alfred Hitchcock’s movies are my favorites and one of them that isn't one of my favorites are all adapted from Daphne du Maurier (5/13/1907 to 4/19/1989) novels. The favorites are the 1940 movie, Rebecca (written in 1938) and the 1963 movie, The Birds (written in 1952). The classic novel Jamaica Inn (written in 1936) was a horribly done Hitchcock movie in 1939.

But my all time favorite Hitchcock movie was the 1944 movie, Lifeboat. It starred Tallulah Bankhead, William Bendix (remember him in the hit 1953-1958 TV series, The Life of Riley), Walter Slezak and Hume Cronyn. It is a classic black and white movie. I’ll bet A. J. Finn’s Anna has seen it.

GONE ON SUNDAY

The author sent me a copy of her novel to read and review:

As I was nearing the end of this twofold mystery, a murder archetype came to my mind...Who killed Cock Robin, twice? Once in 1932 and again 1972. Tower Lowe cleverly melded two related murders forty years apart by alternating the chapters by the year of the crimes. Not only are the murders related, but so are most of the characters. The minor flaws (that) I detected in Tower’s novel were the amount of characters (too many) and a prose that was not as colorful as it could have been...where was the southern drawl? I also thought that the vernacular spoken in 1932 would be a little less modern than the language spoken in 1972. But somehow the writer made it work. The first hundred pages or so were a little confusing trying to remember all the character’s names. Once that was accomplished, I was able to track what was happening easily. This novel has more twists than Carter has Liver Pills. I defy any reader to solve both of these mysteries (I didn’t guess right on either murder). Writing alternating chapters, while also reminiscing within them, is a hard task for any author and somewhat confusing for the reader, but it was manipulated smoothly by the writer. Tower Lowe is a proficient storyteller...just needs to do a better job with her composition.

The novel starts out with twenty three year old Cotton Lee Penn investigating the murder of her cousin, Little Mary. Cotton was working for a local attorney, Max Mayfair, who was hired by Little Mary’s fiance, Walker Kane. Walker was afraid of being arrested because Little Mary was beaten to death and he was known to have beaten her before. Did he do it? Apparently, Little Mary was working on a memorial scrapbook to honor her mother who died two years ago. She was also trying to clear up the murder of her grandmother, Bead Baker, who was also beaten to death forty years prior. Cotton is a pretty lady, but limps around with a gimpy leg from a earlier bout of polio. The novel has a touch of southern discriminations of 1932 and 1972 Virginia. Both blacks (Wilson in 1932 and Muddy in 1972) faced unjust suspicion because of their color. Are they murderers? What about the mean Reverend Samuel “Sharp” Dorn? He hated Bead Baker because she was spending too much time with his wife Verdie (teaching Verdie how to cook and be independent). Rev. Dorn was also known to smack his wife around. Bead was rumored to be a witch or at least someone with a great sixth sense. Did he beat Bead Baker to death? Many more suspects emerge with good reasons to murder Bead...too many to mention in this review. I couldn’t figure out who did it.

 

Little Mary was also known as a woman with great intuition in 1972 Virginia. Many people  worried that their secrets would be revealed by Little Mary. This novel had similarities to Grace Metalious’ Peyton Place (1956) at times. Did the local school teacher, Sally Hampton, who had a secret affair, kill Little Mary? Why did Cotton’s sister, Sydney, who was married to a state senator, want Cotton off the investigation? Did she kill Little Mary? On page 51, she says to Cotton, “Little Mary knew secrets about me, and I don’t want them exposed.” The Reverend Ron Dorn (yes, the son of the 1932 Rev. Dorn) hated Little Mary...why? Cotton Lee’s college black friend, Muddy, tells Cotton that his grandmother, Grace (Bead’s maid), had three pages that she tore out of Bead Baker’s cookbook the day she was murdered. Did Bead write clues on those pages before she died? Can Cotton put the mysterious writings together? What does, One more hour at most. Remember Sugar. Sugar is sweeter than needed. Sharp, bitter-Sugar does not mask it. Sugar turns sour and rises-leaving, mean? There are two more cookbook pages with similar notes that are puzzling, but one page is missing. The pages have dried blood on them. Can Cotton Lee find out who murdered Bead Baker in 1932 and Little Mary in 1972? I’ve only mentioned a fraction of the intrigue still to come in this novel...there are no humdrum chapters.

I thought Tower Lowe’s novel could have been less perplexing if she would have trimmed down the many characters to a reasonable amount, but then I thought, maybe it would have been too easy to figure out who the murderer or murderers were... being they occured forty years apart. Whatever...she did a good job fooling me. If you think you could solve these murders, buy your own copy of Tower Lowe’s whodunit.  

RATING: 4 out of 5 stars

Comment: I know that I am being picayune when I constantly complain about the vernacular of a novel. But the novel comes alive when you use the proper slang, punctuation or accent of a particular time. Just read Mark twain, for example, and you will get what I’m saying. Here’s a quote from Twain’s 1884 novel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (see my review of 12/17/2012):

“Yes-en I’s rich now, come to look at it. I owns mysef, en I’s worth eight hund’d dollars. I wisht I had de money, I wouldn’ want no.”

How about a quote from Robert Louis Stevenson’s 1883 novel, Treasure Island (see my review of 8/23/2016):

“Fifteen men on the Dead Man’s Chest yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum! Drink and the devil had done for the rest yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!”

Okay, you want an example of a more modern novel? How about Erskine Caldwell’s 1933 novel, God's Little Acre:

“Mr. Ty Ty, you oughta’ be out raisin’ cotton. You’re a good farmer-that is, you USED to be. Why, Mr. Ty Ty, you can raise more cotton on this land in one season than you can find gold in a whole lifetime. It’s a waste of everything, Mr Ty Ty, diggin’ them holes all over the place.”

Do you see why these writers are legendary?

KIM

Rudyard Kipling’s Kim (published in 1901) was rather educational to read, although somewhat trying in deciphering the English/Indian language of the late 1800s British controlled India. Kim O’hara was a orphaned white boy running around India thinking and acting like he was a Hindu Indian when he meets an aged and possibly mad Tibetan lama, who is on a pilgrimage. I didn’t read Miguel de Cervantes’ novel, Don Quixote (1605), but I am familiar with the novel and the story of Kim reminded me of that classic tale. In Kim, a Tibetan lama was on a pilgrimage to find a holy River while Don Quixote was on a  knight-errant search for chivalrous adventures...a perfect match. Both seemed ‘mad as a hatter’ (were they really?). Kim became the lama’s chela (disciple), while Sancho became Don Quixote’s squire. Like Sancho, Kim is forced to deceive his master (?) at times. Anyway, both novel’s are not an easy read. I keep reading the classics, because I believe it makes me a better reviewer who can then authoritatively compare modern novels with the distinguished novels of yesteryear. Does that make sense? So what’s Kim all about? I’m glad you asked...or did you?

Kim is a poor orphaned white boy who wears Hindu garb and is loosely watched over by a half caste woman. His father, a British soldier, and mother are both dead. Around Kim’s neck is a amulet that explains who he is. He gets his meals where he can and does odd jobs for the local merchants of Lahore City, including the horse trader, Mahbub Ali. One day Kim meets a lama from Tibet in front of the Wonder House Museum, who says that he is on a pilgrimage to Benares to find a holy river that absolves one of all sins. The lama tells the Curator of the Wonder House of Lahore about his quest on page 13, “Listen to a true thing. When our gracious Lord (Buddha), being as yet a youth, sought a mate, men said, in his father’s Court, that He was too tender for marriage. Thou knowest?” The Curator nodded, wondering what would come next. “So they made the triple trial of strength against all comers. And at the test of the bow, our Lord first breaking that which they gave Him, called for such a bow as none might bend. Thou knowest?” “It is written. I have read.” “And, overshooting all other marks, the arrow passed far and far beyond sight. At the last it fell; and, where it touched earth, there broke out a stream which presently became a River, whose nature, by our Lord’s beneficence, and that merit He acquired ere He freed himself, is that whoso bathes in it washes away all taint and speckle of sin.” “So it is written,” said the Curator sadly. Now you might think that I made a lot of mistakes in the above text in punctuation and capitalization, but sorry...I only put it down exactly the same way Rudyard Kipling wrote it. And who can question his writing ability?

Since the lama was on a holy quest, he only brought his begging bowl with him. It was up to Kim, now the lama’s chela, to find food and shelter each night after their day’s walk. At the end of the first day’s walk, they end up at a large courtyard for overnight caravans. Kim has had previous dealings with the local horse trader, Mahbub Ali. Kim ask for money for food from Mahbub on page 23. And Mahbub says to Kim, “And if thou wilt carry a message for me as far as Umballa, I will give thee money. It concerns a horse-a white stallion which I have sold to an officer upon the last time I returned from the Passes. But then-stand nearer and hold up hands as begging-the pedigree of the white stallion was not fully established, and that officer, who is now at Umballa, bade me make it clear.” The message will prove the pedigree of the white stallion. Kim agrees to take the message, but “He knew he had rendered a service to Mahbub Ali, and not for one little minute did he believe the tale of the stallion’s pedigree.” Who really is Mahbub Ali? After a short sleep, Kim said to the lama, “Come. It is time-time to go to Benares” The lama rose obediently, and they passed out of the serai (caravansary) like shadows. I hope my 23 page recap whet your appetite for the rest of the novel. There is a lot of adventure ahead if you can fist fight your way through the tough vernacular of late 1800s India. This novel is not for everyone. It will test your mettle, but make you feel like you accomplished something noteworthy...and you did.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Comment: I’m glad that I finally read a Rudyard Kipling (12/30/1865 to 1/18/1936) novel (some literary experts say that it was his best novel) as I continue my quest to read at least one novel from each of the classic writers (I could only hope to live so long).

Kipling is famously quoted as saying, “If history were taught in the form of stories, it would never be forgotten.” and “Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” Is he on the money, or what?

Besides Kim, Kipling's other works are highlighted by The Jungle Book (1894), The Man Who Would Be King (1888) and Gunga Din (1890), which was originally a poem. Gunga Din became a major motion picture in 1939 starring Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., Cary Grant, Victor McLaglen and Sam Jaffe as Gunga Din (the waterboy).